angela lansbury is trying to convince another mystery author that her tiny town has clean streets! fresh air! friendly people! safe neighborhoods! and THEN THIS CHILD COMES UP SHOUTING FOR HER ABOUT A DEAD BODY. the look on her FACE

PLEASE. i'm in a lesbian baseball desert

real life it happened to me again: friend went to recommend me a fanfiction that i had written

could not for the life of me figure out why i had favorited a random set of coordinates in google maps and turns out it's where a migrating snowy owl was seen for like 24 hours last year

My resolution, and I think it’s doable, is to run so fast into a chain link fence that I come out as cubes.

Funny Numbers xkcd.com/3184/

LEAVE COMEDY TO THE BEARS EBENEEZER

Man at Cupids romance bookstore: I am picking up a book for my girlfriend but I'm not sure which Cashier: Heated Rivalry? Man: How did you know?

"You're the top Christmas sweater designer at the hottest label in New York City. Are you willing to risk that?"- a netflix movie called Christmas at the Alpaca Farm

hallmark really said "we'll give you a lesbian christmas movie but it WILL be about two women finding a baby & learning about the wonders of a nuclear family."

please enjoy my favorite winter tumblr post

If you're not trans, I don't think I can fully explain how important this is. It's so powerful that one of the most circulated science media publications in the world has come out and said "trans children are real and providing transition care improves their lives." That's groundbreaking.

i am once again, coming to you all hat in hand and asking for recent eagles topics, stories, facts, etc that i can put on my small talk list for my upcoming family parties so it seems like i care. also shout out to strahm, i will miss you but you ARE on the list in the phillies section

if you want to listen to thirty hours of oral history featuring golden age hollywood actors jerking each other off and complaining about contemporary films & the loss of the hays code, then hollywood: the oral history is for you

god forbid we let a team do some Heated Rivalry cross promotion

sure we lost Strahm but we got a 28 year old who isn't anywhere near as effective as Strahm, so,

we are all strategically placed on the septa bus around the emergency hatch that is open in this pouring rain

me: *watches fire truck extend the ladder* me: biiiiiig stretch

obligatory stop trying to feed me gluten free baked goods from your gluteny kitchen post: holiday edition

BL fandoms to the Heartstopper & Heated Rivalry people:

really funny review of ONE OF THE BOYS

this is a general warrant and it's specifically the kind of warrant the framers passed the 4th amendment to outlaw

i LOVE a sold out show but it does mean that the person in the front row on the very end can see me pulling the curtain

does everyone in the polycule get their own christmas card if they live together or is it ONE christmas card with names strategically ordered...

'Let it Snow' with all the positive lines removed

if you were a mid 19th century lady, why would you have stuffed your hat up the chimney flu for me to find in 2025

writing out my holiday cards & choosing from the categories: queer, straight, straight but cool, relatives, relatives but cool, children, and weirdos (affectionate)

"Great hair, Rosemary." - Rosemary Clooney, about herself in this White Christmas DVD commentary

this is the thread ranking all the outfits of rosemary clooney wears in white christmas. thank you for your time

i'm going to invent a time machine and go back to 1954 during the filming of white christmas so rosemary clooney can step on me

can't believe it's 1am at 5pm wow

sorryyyyy but once again, it is the funniest thing in the world to see the reactions from people when i start a conversation with someone by saying "when i used to work in a lighthouse..."

from 18% to 46%??? who took that piss

I would never call ADHD a superpower. It feels more like a pact with the fae tbh. Like oh, yeah you can focus, you just can’t control when and on what and for how long

really stretching my acting chops tonight (repeating one actress' line over & over while the stage manager attempts to fix a sound cue)

people try so hard to feed me and they are so sweet. someone at the theater tonight was so excited to give me something labeled certified gluten-free that i know would destroy me via crohns. i did not tell HER that but i did just put it in my bag

me, leaning over during wicked for good: you know what other movie stars jeff goldblum in a place where he shouldn't be and has captured animals being freed during an important event

They should do MyChart Wrapped

over the weekend, i went into a record store & they didn't have what i wanted so i asked to order it and she said "we don't do orders but i'll write it down" and i said "what? what does that mean?" and she said "i'll write it down" and i am still thinking about this four days later

“Maybe we’re onto something.” “How can we tell? We’ve only done this 187,623 times with the same success every single time. Could be a fluke.”

you'll never believe it but my number one song once again this year is the single instrumental that i loop to fall asleep to. coming in at tens of thousands of plays. who would have thought it

sorry ma'am, it's called "committing to the bit" and i'm a professional

The original "Sisters" dresses from White Christmas (1954) and one extant feather fan were reunited at the Rosemary Clooney House. Learn more here: hometownstohollywood.com/kentucky/ros... #WhiteChristmas #Sisters #RosemaryClooney #VeraEllen #IrvingBerlin

day 1 is "penzeys revolution blend" and i cant stop laughing at "we have to GET RID of this lying, cheating, CORRUPT SCUMBAG PRESIDENT!! RESIST! REVOLT! REVOLUTION NOW!! good on roast poultry and carrots"

He's right, and he should say it.

TK: Championship level yapper

girl i am SO glad that your mystery true love time-traveled to find you so you can be together just in time for christmas but PLEASE get that boy vaccinated. also how are you at identity theft? cause he's gonna need a social security card