genuinely can't tell which part might be funnier, MTG slowly putting together the dots on this, now, at the end of all things, or the possibility that she thinks that nobody else has already

That missed extra point saving us from what could have been a truly surreal and horrific overtime

Clemson players flopping like they’re playing in La Liga tonight

I’m chuckling at Clemson but this would make Dabo a harder sell for Clemson without a lake: www.al.com/auburnfootba...

THEN YOU PURCHASE THEM AND DO NOT USE THE PROPERTY OF OTHERS

lol Clemson fumbled twice in two plays

Merrick Garland left a standing impression that no one powerful will ever be held accountable. Democrats should rectify that by saying, loudly and every hour, that people who act on illegal orders will face punishment by the next DOJ.

I dream of a day when corporations have to reapply for every tax break, contract, and grant every six months, with a requirement that it is the CEO who must complete the paperwork, and attest under penalty of law that they personally did so.

I will no doubt read and enjoy all your very good Nuzzi jokes, but I also want to say earnestly, so many of us (myself included) are on the verge of being pushed out of this industry and it's genuinely so dispiriting to see the worst among us, ethics-wise, get such preferential treatment.

Remember the Relic, created by the evil Arasaka corporation in the dystopian alternate future in Cyberpunk 2077? Some dickheads are making it for real

It was closer to $10 but everything on the menu was cheaper in December 2006

ADs are seeking to bring the same “Dynamic Pricing” bullshit that’s made concert going a wildly expensive hobby and it sucks

"Centrists" have commitment issues

I hate that AI has made me approach cute animal videos with an air of suspicion. I resent having to harden my heart to the possibility of an unlikely friendship between a very large dog and a very small one

We as a nation have really lost the true meaning of Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands by the Perimeter Fence and Screams for Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing Day

To better protect employees from getting laid off just to juice a stock price, it should be illegal for any publicly traded company to have more than 50% of its stock in the hands of non-employees

The government's intelligence gathering apparatus is literally "I saw this snuff film on X" now and I have no idea why people haven't realized this or still post there regularly like you're not feeding a government surveillance firehose.

Holy shit

Shows? No. Music? Yes, always (Even my white noise for sleep playlist starts off with music)

Here's an idea! Karoline Leavitt (age 29) should do the press conferences with her husband (age 60), just to remind Americans that there's nothing creepy at all about this, nothing creepy at all, nothing creepy

Growing up in a time when “selling out” was the most shameful thing you could do and then being forced to live through the 2020s feels like being kicked in the head by a horse every day

As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history. Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX

Lmao

As all this disgusting Epstein shit starts surfacing more and more, I hope we don't lose sight of the fact that apparently every major media outlet knew everything and instead spent their time money and energy attacking the trans community.

also: our sister publication, NIL-Wire, wrote its most important story yet. a sit down with Boise State's Goth Volleyball Player www.nil-wire.com/p/nora-hayd-...

after reading how all these rich folks write i think i understand why they believe everyone else needs a chatbot to write everything from emails and text message to novels

The comparison between UGA’s QB and Miami’s starter: 👁️ 👁️

Always worth bringing back up that a big part of why evopsych became such a thing was that Jeffrey Epstein was bankrolling it through academic donations

It’s funny that Harvard has been a consistent target for reactionary campaigns, and not one has been dedicated to ousting Larry Summers, an openly political figure who was friends with Jeffrey Epstein; meanwhile, it’s a fine-toothed comb for *checks notes* Black women.

Wild how every single member of the political and business elite went into full drooling fascism the second the prospect of consequences for abhorrent behavior started to seem possible

Putting aside all the horrible shit in them: I cannot believe the global elite composes emails like fucking horses who somehow learned to crudely type. My emails read like Shakespeare compared to the lowercased, unpunctuated screeds written to the worlds biggest pedophile. Fucking write like adults!

sitting in the lotus position, hovering 3 feet above the ground, eyes rolled back in my head, an electric thrumming fills the room: the pee tape is real

COOGAN: i haven't heard your Peter Griffin but I assume its something along the lines of "Holy Crayup, Lowis" BRYDON: That is where you're so wrong, thats the very thing I don't do. COOGAN: well, do your Peter Griffin. BRYDON: before the cancellation Peter said "howely CWAP, Louis,"

Morning Bsky! Happy Exploding Whale Day! On this day 55 years ago, the Oregon Highway Division attempted to dispose of a whale carcass with 450kg of dynamite. ... It did not go well 🙃

In the US, law enforcement isn't just legally allowed to lie to you, they're ENCOURAGED to. OTOH, your lawyer is legally prohibited from lying to you and can lose her license for it. Which of those professions, though, do you reflexively associate more with lying? You're not immune to copaganda.

I think a lot of people are misinterpreting "dog that hasn't barked". It's a Sherlock Holmes reference and I'm pretty sure from the context he's using it correctly: something conspicuous due to its absence. Eg, "it's weird they're talking about everyone except Trump when he did so much with me"

┏┓ ┃┃╱╲ in ┃╱╱╲╲ this ╱╱╭╮╲╲house ▔▏┗┛▕▔ we ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ celebrate Kim Davis having to pay $360K to the gay couple she denied a marriage license ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

C R Y I N G this is so perfect lmao x: www.instagram.com/reel/DQ7cPSf...

the simpsons should take the elon musk episode off of disney plus and replace it with the michael jackson episode

Reskeeting with an iconic fictional band

me seeing everyone's sky photos on this app

So Greg Cow is like 5’4, huh

The “stick to sports” folks will be piping up about this any second now, right?

If they drop subtle hints like “think about me riding you later” yes, otherwise no, they probably aren’t into me like that

Pegged the Breathalyzer