You call yourself a Catholic with that mouth?

Depression is real and devastating. Maybe he’ll realize that in time it also affects other people. But, frankly, this also just reinforces to me some people are born without empathy. And also, that people are what they repeatedly do.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but D.C.’s not a state, so it was never a state fair to begin with.

Tank is over 4 ft now. Thank you, Fruit Phone, for suddenly sending me a “remember when” reminder that I had a baby a fraction of that size at one point. 😭

I was in Paris in 2014 when Algeria made it to the knockout round, and I thought vibes were wild then. This >>>>> that.

Stop pretending like kale chips are an indulgent treat.

Glad the world’s premier sports app finally saw the light.

Tanks eating lunch completely out of the blue: T: “On my honeymoon, I am going to take my wife to England.” Me: “That’s a nice idea!” T: “Yeah, and I’m going to take her on a boat and show her the Titanic.” Me: T: “And show her where it sank at the bottom of the sea.” Me: T: “Yeah, it’ll be fun.”

Hearing RonaLOLdo?

Still gotta collaborate and listen, Van Winkle.

And to you, Coach. *fires up “Wish You Were Here”*

My 94yo neighbor cracked her ribs sitting down too hard and has been down and out all week. I went over every day to see her but her nurse always answered bc she was napping. BUT. Today, I was coming home from the store and saw her coming outside for a walk. I shrieked and almost cried.

Paul Simon’s Graceland. Mama B worked nights, so Papa B made dinner and my little bro and I danced our faces off to it. I still know every word of the album. And my dance with Papa B at my wedding reception was to “Diamonds on the Souls of Her Shoes.”

Stuck with the turf and bathed it in a truffle butter/red wine/garlic/pan juice/eat-your-heart-out-shrimps reduction.

Well, we’re supposed to have steaks for dinner, but now I kinda want surf ‘n turf due to all y’all’s whining about shrimpery.

Toxic Testosterone and Fake Christianity are literally the antitheses of punk rock.

Louisville to ATL: “You wanna tango? I wanna POLKA.”

@katieshook.bsky.social When can we expect your award winning play-by-play coverage?

God BLESS it

About to wake up Tank and suit him up. Yeesh.

Berserk-halter more like.

Son of a NUTCRACKER

Aaronson,

FINISH. THE. DRILL. MY. DUDES.

Oh God, we’re too close for missles and switching to guns? In this economy?

Good Lord, put a little bit more Pepi in yo stepi!

Boom Shaka Lakka

Don’t worrry, offside, no one gets me either. Love, Targeting

TYLER SIMMONS WAS ONSIDE TOO, REFS.

Hearing refs?

RULE #1: DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB, FIGHT CLUB.

Also Alexi Lalas needs to read a goddamned dictionary. He’s greedy. These dawgs are HUNGRY.

WOWSERS 🇺🇸

Tom needs to STFU, Emmerite?

Lin Manuel Miranda should stick to Broadway.

Sharpened my talons, killed many darlings, and I’m back to 79 pages. I hate it here.

We got no FOOD We got no JOBS Our pets’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF

Modern science IS a miracle.

I won’t make this a daily thing. But have counted now 17 national guardspersons casually strolling around happily chatting away just this AM. In case you need to make a case to *the people who need to hear it* that their tax $ is going to uniformed personnel acting like they’re on liberty.

NO. Omelets aren’t real.

M-BAPPE He scores goals BAPPE

They happen in threes. Two titans gone. 1) Greenspan 2) Clive Davis 3) Let. Us Pray.

I dunno. We nabbed an American Pope in this lifetime, so you never know.

Ban. Every. One. Or. Right. To. Jail.

Tax dollars going to all sorts of good causes. Shout out to the four national guardsmen relaxing and people watching at Dupont Circle today too.

Oh sweet 8 lb 6 oz baby Jesus, “NCIS: NASCAR” is gonna debut Labor Day 2026 now, isn’t it.

Whatever happens in this game, it is written that on this day in the year of our Lord 2026, Cape Verde reached through the BlueSky and touched the face of the futbol gods.