When can we expect Green Day’s anti-MAGA(fee) tour?

We really have to blame the blithely blind embrace of AI on Trader Joe’s who successfully convinced us that chocolate-covered shoelaces were the self care we couldn’t live without.

If neurotic college football fandom was a visual, this is it.

We've been getting these quarterly reports from the the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction (SIGAR) for seventeen years. The 2025 NDAA shuts down the office. Over the seventeen year history, SIGAR found between $25-$29 billion in waste. $29 billion. www.sigar.mil/Reports/Arti...

My Spotify age or whatever is zero. 👍

Who is slicing onions? Sean Taylor’s death was one of the first major events to happen in DC when I first set foot here. The whole city wept. What a moving story.

Where’s the clause about Kirby extending his lease to continue living rent-free in BK’s head though? Sorry, sorry, trying to delete

“I would say there’s a misnomer that AI is a shortcut…I don’t think my team has ever worked harder on any ad that we’ve created for any brand.” Umm k. You could have just affirmed what most already affirm: AI is more often than not a solution in search of a problem.

ROSWELL?! Holy moly this is huge.

And is the government footing the bill for all of it? Absolutely.

🎯 Spot-on metaphor.

Like a virus, DOGE is adapting, evolving

Idea: Real Housewives, but coaching staff at schools in the coaching carousel each season. They got mics and cameras in their faces all day and night anyway. Just make it official now.

Gotta love the playoff pods. “So we’re all in agreement that 1-loss Team A is in over a 2-loss Team F?” “100 hard agree%” (x3) Great! Two minutes later they’ve all changed their minds based on one person playing devil’s advocate. Glorious.

Reminder #1,396,926,283 that criminals (Mark Halperin) with friends in high places always manage to connive their way back in.

Has anyone done a wellness check on Marty Smith?

Happy “adoration of the little babes in puffy marshmallow coats with little toothpick legs sticking out of the bottom of them” to all who celebrate. How I miss that age. (Kinda.)

If anyone else is firing their coach, please own up now. I need to go to bed soon.

This aged splendidly. But seriously…ummm, who, pray, is going to coach this team?

BREAKING: Since apparently no humans have any interest whatsoever in coaching Penn State, they’ll be coached by an AI bot called Smittany Mions c/o prompts written by God-knows what.

Instead of playing football, UGA:Bama could do like a curling match (game? meet? set?) next weekend or something.

New world order, says Ty Simpson, all glory to God.

Oh, so all of a sudden you’re not haunted?

No no no. Where are the Jordan-Hare Gremlins? That’s not how it’s supposed to work.

To be QUITE clear, I am not cheering for Auburn. I am rooting against Bama. These are not the same.

👋 Lifelong UCLA fan here

We’ve arrived at the “it ends in ‘day’ and time is a flat circle” portion of the weekend.

🚨 Announcement imminent 🚨

I meant it’s exactly what I’d expect. White, bone dry, flavorless. As expected/advertised.

And yet, Mark Stoops’ job is the only one in college football that will never be in jeopardy.

Pitt and Blue, I’m sorry. Ugh. 😔

No room at the inn, so, second lunch.

And who were in WAYYYY too many AP and honors classes.

Listen up, Go Blue:

What if every college kid was treated with the same kid gloves as coaches? Hoping all my “college players have no sense of loyalty; 4-year-commit or die, death to the transfer portal” drum-beating relatives are taking every second of this waiting saga to consider that. (They never will, of course.)

Okay, let’s turn attention to what really matters on this day after we gave thanks. Where is the Kiffin 2025 Kam? Anyone seen smoke? Has the Lane-clave convened?

Sorry, Ags.

No, you’re not Wisconsin. Stop trying to make Jump Around happen.

“Cooper and the family” hahahaha

….the TV execs have heard me! They don’t want a UGA/Bama SECC after all either! They circled around one single brain cell and came to the realization on their own! C’mon Aggies… Speaking all the things into the void….

TV execs: FYSA, no one is interested in another UGA/Bama SECC. None. Of. The. Eyeballs. You. Are. Trying. To. Reach. Care.

Greg, “this is so much violence right here” McElroy.

MORE QUIET RIOT AT CFB GAMES

ConcepciOOOOHOHOHOHN

Outlaw turf

Oh no,

Tank pronounces “A&M“ as “A and M” in crisp, individual syllables rather than smushing them together like most of us do, so I look forward to taking him to “Wor Chest Er” and buying “Wor Chest Er ShIre” sauce.

Moving right along… Horns all the way down.

Okay, so I clean old-fashioned HATED that game. And yet.

My parents’ reading interests now include Mark Levin and Ben Shapiro per their bookshelves. And they have the tackiest sparkly “TFG 2024” Christmas ornament I’ve ever laid eyes on that, mere years ago, they would never have dreamed of owning. Please, Dawgs. Hunker Down. Need a win today.