stole this banger headline from someone who didn’t use alt text

I am pleased to announce one (1) fig from my tree!! This has taken YEARS of gardening efforts!* * By which I mean I bought the tree (and its so-far less fruitful sibling), had husband install them, and he's usually the one who remembers they like to have water now and then

Pete Hegseth: "We need our warriors to embrace the Spartan mindset" U.S. Military: *suffers crushing defeat to the Persians*

Turns out Sharky is a Very Good Boy about eating medicine treats. Here's hoping his sniffles keep improving! 🤞 #PetRats

Baby pile! #PetRats

ICE thugs tackled and tried to handcuff a man at Las Vegas airport. When they realized they were being filmed, they simply walked away, leaving the man on the ground with a handcuff attached to one arm. The Las Vegas Police found no outstanding warrants for the man and removed his handcuffs.

Brb, finally buying more of the books

every time trump is president you gotta wash your groceries

Sometimes I get a little bit jealous of our cats because they don't even know who the president is

No statement from Mitch McConnell on the sudden passing of his senate colleague? So much for decorum

counterpoint: the dead should make it harder for me to speak ill of them

I feel sad about sweet little ratties trying to pull us into their nests... It seems like they don't realize we just can't fit, or they wouldn't try it, right? So do they think we just keep turning them down every time they invite us? Does it hurt their feelings? 🥹

[long sigh of contentment] My favorite analysis of this part of P&P is "Girl, you ever reject a man so hard he spontaneously learned boundaries??"

That feeling when I can finally post an image I saved a year and a half ago

Esk and Toffee are BFFs lately. She's been fascinated by him since she arrived here, and has slowly wormed her way into his cranky old-man heart. She's a charmer! I suspect she will quickly be running the place once Sharky passes or decides to stop bothering with alpha stuff.

The fact that all of these men have an accounts on here and are choosing not to try that shit here shows that there is a huge cultural difference between twitter and bsky and if that means this is a bubble, I fucking love this bubble.

Walking up to a straight couple to ask which one is Yogurt and which one is Beemis. (though you can always tell 🙄)

I have a foolproof way to make sure that your papers contain absolutely no fake references . . . . . read the papers you cite.

my brother & his partner are telling me an insane story about this local deity called "st. rat" which is apparently a mosaic relief put up by some queers in seattle. the city kept trying to paint over it, but people would repeatedly just use acetone and remove the paint until the city gave up

OH MY GOD GUYS okay so priests who want back in have to find a bishop willing to vouch for them, swear fealty to Vatican II and then HAND-WRITE THE POPE AN APOLOGY LETTER (I gues so he knows they didn’t use AI? 😂) and are on probation for 1-3 years this is ten times spicier than I even thought

Trump: It's not working! Why don't they love the fair? How do I make the crowds cheer? Oracle of DC: If you test your strength against the heat with a very long speech, the nation will celebrate harder than they ever have. They will party in the streets. No one will ever forget the night.

People : oh wow they ordained those illegal bishops i wonder what the pope might d- Pope : EXCOMMUNICATE DAY WOO People : u didnt let me fin- Pope : I DIDNT STUTTER JIMMY

THE VATICAN IS CALLING IT A SCHISM I REPEAT HOUSTON, WE HAVE A SCHISM

Banana time! #PetRats

You couldn't make Blazing Saddles today. It's already 4PM and you haven't even started.

I enjoy it when my Other Duties as Assigned are "here, play with this and make notes when you break it"

HAPPY FRIDAY TO EVERYONE WHO HATES SLOP

Older lady peeped the rainbow flag on my bike, asked in a thick Russian accent “It’s your Pride?” She told me her youngest grandchild is “not she berry or he berry but no berry.” I said “Nonbinary?” She got so excited. Yes! Yes! And “Is a secret, but they are my“ *looks around, whispers* “favorite.”

"All technology can be used for good or ill, you can't just blame AI" Really is just "guns don't kill people" with a fresh coat of paint, huh

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Sharky ❤️ babby #PetRats

No thoughts only paper shreds #PetRats

"Ben owns a farm. He employs 100 workers. His total payroll is $10 million/year. One day, he buys a mule, which provides the worker who uses it with a modest 10% productivity gain. Ben fires 99 of his workers and purchases 99 mules, expecting a 1,000% productivity gain..."

IMPORTANT RAT NEWS: Esk is a tiny and beautiful and perfect little baby 😍 #PetRats

Apprentice yogurt cup cleaners Carrot and Eskarina get some hands on experience with guidance from Sharky and Toffee. #PetRats

An inspirational Rat Meme Monday, go out and achieve something inconsequential.

OCEANIA HAS ALWAYS BEEN VERY CLOSE TO A DEAL WITH EURASIA

Nap #PetRats

Describe your gender without downloading any new pictures

After 7 years as nodding acquaintances, local feral kitty Nuage has decreed that I may--nay, must!--touch her. We spent a good 10-15 min this morning with me petting her as she full-body smooshed herself against me. I feel like I have won at cat.

🤔 I suspect by "untold riches," Money Rat means oodles of cheerios, dry pasta, graham cracker pieces, etc.

stop making me write self-evaluations leave me alone and give me a performance rating of He Did His Job, please and thank you I have no more ambition, I do not need a promotion, I will do good work, just stop bothering me about it

Rat pile! Babies and uncles are sharing space full time now! Various combinations of baby-uncle snuggling are observed regularly. Toffee is especially tolerant of Carrot, since they're both a bit left out by the Sharky + Girls dynamic. I catch those two chilling together often. #PetRats

I don't care how much you like Good Omens or Sandman or Coraline or whatever - do not support this fucking horror of a man's works.

Finally caught the babies not being motion blurs #PetRats

Remember to upgrade to LGBT+ next month so you can be gay without ads

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