Begging cities to just build normal trains

Just was told by my pal Kiliii Yuyan, who shot the NatGeo cover picture for the current issue (shown), that this is the last issue of the magazine that will be sold on newsstands.

i spend a lil time every day tending to a few dead-end crushes & have just folded it into my routine like a job

When you're on your way home and need just one more thing

i’m at the laundromat i’m at the tanning salon i’m at the notary i’m at bingo i’m at the canoe rental i’m at the combination laundromat tanning salon notary bingo canoe rental

work

banksy you’ve done it again

don't narc on your colleagues, journos

iron claw premiere

Tiny truckers.

the back of every police squad car has a "Secret Urinal"

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA—

Eric Adams pretending to get a phone call to get out of a meeting at the White House, somehow spotted minutes later in Manhattan laughing with Enes Kanter and Ja Rule at the 57th birthday party of a lesser Dick Tracy villain. They're at a "supper club" called Le Crime.

Remember that some people just like to argue, because it's the only time they know what to say. It's kind of like when you're lost in a video game but then you run across enemies and it's a relief because now you know what to do.

Did you know bears are good at operating computers https://www.popsci.com/environment/are-bears-smart/

You have been sentenced to death by ginger gooch

if someone gives my kids a Woke Snickers for Halloween, im going to shoot them😤

unwound

“sorry i burned dinner. i was thinking about how wile e. coyote could afford all those rockets” “… again?” “do you think he had a job and just hunted the roadrunner as a hobby?”

Oh he’s going to jail-jail

i guess my favorite thing about the headline "Man arrested for faking heart attack 20 times at restaurants to avoid paying bill" is that it kind of implies 19 times is okay www.ktvu.com/news/man-arr...

Good.

they’re dating

veterinary stickers. tag yourself

miss her

actually we’re living in pretty fucking precedented times

What if we kissed on the curbside terlets? 🥹👉👈

For The Believer, I wrote about Liz Phair’s self-titled album and how I absolutely couldn’t give it a chance at the time it came out. www.thebeliever.net/resurrector-...

Twenty-five years ago today, Lucy Lawless hosted "Saturday Night Live." This one sketch she did burned itself into my brain. I wrote about it once. It's still, maybe stupidly, one of the things I am most proud of. Happy birthday, "Stevie Nicks' Fajita Roundup." www.theringer.com/music/2020/5...

never seen more use of passive voice statements in my life than I have in the past week

oh you’re a fan of Mexican desserts? Name tres leches

A week of legendary ass showing.

lfg

a lil early

when it’s the weekend

the small one takes this up several levels

same, same, same