Franzi Schimmer captured this Grizzly bear in Brooks Falls, Alaska just floating along, tippy-tapping down the river, browsing the salmon. Prior to hibernation, up to 40% of a bear's body mass is fat, which is less dense than water (~0.9 g/cm^2), so the murder-monster is also a floaty-boaty.

👇🏻

let the gourd times roll

This is Cruiser. He's trained as a Community Resource Dog in Wrentham, Massachusetts. Last week he helped locate a missing elderly resident with dementia who had wandered away from home. For a job well done, Cruiser was rewarded with a hamburger. 14/10 (IG: officer_cruiser)

This is Chester. He dramatically slides down the stairs every morning. Just because he has woken up doesn't mean his legs have. 13/10 (TT: lucy_morrison18)

That last line hits hard

I am no longer middle aged. I am now medieval aged. Squire! Fetch me a breakfast burrito!

Me, pretending I don’t have Sunday scaries actually

Hey, who wants something nice? So I was on tour this month, and when I was doing my event for the Princeton University Library and the Princeton Public Library, I ended up at the graveyard, where I found this gravestone:

Happy third birthday Vinnie!! (He really didn’t trust that pupcake - it had to be thoroughly investigated before being snarfed down)

This is Arang and Aro. Aro is giving them the ol' razzle dazzle, and Arang is giving nothing at all. 12/10

This little pup has managed to stay dry despite wearing so much drip. 12/10

Frank Zappa would very much like to be verified

A middle-aged Donna Martin, stuck in line in the bank with three screaming kids, sighs to herself and says

My dog forces his head into my hands, causing my phone to crash to the floor. "C'mon, scroll my ears," he urges,"we are going to feel better."

What if a eulogy, but 80% funny (I hope)? If you want to skip the potentially sad parts, just click through and scroll to the bottom - and rather than condolences, please consider a donation to the tiny no-kill shelter in Tennessee where we met Greyson as a pup. www.cheriepriest.com/blog/the-wei...

Politest pup just patiently waiting for the cheese tax

This is Ripley. He was nervous about taking the stairs. May have panicked a bit. 12/10

financial advice in a weird time: -- develop a plan -- find friends who support you -- preferably 10 of them -- steal $160 million from the Bellagio, the Mirage, and the MGM Grand -- yes those are Terry Benedict's casinos -- get your wife back -- one of the friends should be Don Cheadle btw simple

It’s all so fucking STUPID.

On our walk this morning, we spotted a muskrat (I think) carrying on in the creek. Vinnie the hunter had zero interest.

Guy: How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Do you know yet? Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more

SINCE YOUVE BEEN GONE

That top!

A minor

anyway good night

Tonight’s view of the Chicago River from the Purple Line

We could just be reading great books, watching good movies, and eating fruit. Instead we have to survive/fight miserable power hoarders. What a waste of limited time.

Remembering this one guy on Twitter in like 2017 who got INCANDESCENTLY mad at me, sea-lioning relentlessly for literal weeks, when I tweeted that Elon Musk was just Donald Trump For Nerds

what radicalized me? fern gully

🚨🚨 Puppy Cart!! 🚨🚨

Just to be clear, this is also what happens when you take me to the aquarium

Meet Onions.

every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel

Also known as a busta.

The best part about the song “No Scrubs” is that the lyrics have to explain what scrubs are so you can be on their side about not wanting any

This is Louis. He just got some cool new shoes. So naturally, he had to make an entrance in them. 13/10

This is Oslo. 0/10 He's no longer able to hold back The Darkness. #AllBirdsGoToHell

When you can't let the cat go out because he might invade Poland

I heard this is a good place to talk about taxing the rich, breaking up big tech, and ending Washington corruption.

6 hours under martial law: a drunk scene report from Seoul www.theverge.com/24312920/mar...

I got a new puppy today and had to put him a sweater to match his sister

They are duckling

I made a thing. Use it well.

We are once again offering "candy and/or a potato" this Halloween, and I'm VERY pleased to report that one mom just asked her kid, "Is this the potato house you were looking for?!"