NO. DONT GIVE UP YOUR SARBES GEAR FOR FANATICS SLOP, KING

Meanwhile, at the playground:

extremely bad time for an astronaut to find out he's a werewolf

Oh we’ve reached THAT part of DCU farce hours

Walking the city streets, heavily sweating, absolutely screaming out all the cover blurbs from this magazine~ buddy, that's a MAN'S LIFE.

I’m aware of my Bitter Old MLS Fan phase but man alive there ain’t a jury in the world where you’ll beat the Messi League Soccer allegations

I think a 20 minute session of doing an expressionist painting of Bert was the break down I needed to have today.

moby-dick, his eyes enormous: from hell's heart you STAB at moby? for hate's sake you spit your last BREATH at moby? oh! oh! the great shroud of the sea for ahab! the great shroud of the sea rolling on as it rolled five thousand years ago!!!!

Wii U NINTENDO 2012

I just looked up an image gallery from the 2006 NME Awards. 20 years ago, these were the coolest men in the country

Wishing all the trans folks in the world an ordinary life where they get to think about weird hobbies and lunch options instead of existential nonsense

in 1917 Simon Bamberger became the first non-Mormon Governor of Utah, while campaigning an irate Mormon said "I'll never vote for a damn gentile!" to which Bamberger said "as a Jew I have been called a great many things, but this is the first time I've been called a damn gentile" the crowd loved it

I’ve never seen a picture of a chicken go harder than this

Remembering that my mom tried to tell me over Christmas that I had terrible handwriting when it turns out she was talking about my cursive when I was a kid, a practice I abandoned the microsecond I was allowed to My script is immaculate, and Ben Shapiro ain’t winning shit

BREAKING NEWS 🚨

Catching up on NOAH and if you ever wondered what the opposite of a flip sell was,

Why would anybody waste money putting actual cyanide in cyanide teeth. The people who are biting them are not in a high leverage position

Everything DCU once was, the Spirit is.

Finally, a real use case for JavaScript

Folks are gonna get murdered walking the street

This is just the plot of SINGLE WHITE FEMALE (1992)

Like, you watch them do dumb insane shit and then lol win and sing ole

It’s enjoyable to watch the Montreal Canadiens play hockey, I recommend it

They’ve been doing weekend shifts for no extra pay since Iran began. For all the yelling of STREAMING IS THE FUTURE, well, pay the future. Or you won’t have one.

"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."

I wonder if people who haven't seen but are weirdly angry at Marty Supreme would feel differently if they knew at the end one of the characters looks at the camera and says "btw I've been a vampire this whole time, like for real, this is a vampire movie now"

I'm not celebrating the Ides of March, I'm keeping the Stabbath

Everything is very stupid and I have stress dreams about things I've lost over the last decade or so but at least I'm having the best run of Final Fantasy Tactics in my life

Oh hey DC United won, apparently in clown fashion, that rules Sell the team

Spring has sprung

A little kid walked up to me and handed me a shiny rock a couple days ago, it was like a favor from a tiny god

holy shit

You can tell the vibe coding on BSky is at maximum because uncensored dicks are all over What's Hot Classic again

Garber's here too. I'm enjoying not giving MLS my money anymore. It feels right. It feels good.

Slow news day huh?

what for

It would be neat if Bluesky would auto-spoiler the literal arm-breaking of a combat veteran in a door instead of me getting to see a guy's arm breaking in real time It would be neat if the poster did that in advance, too But I'm just a dog, so

I really like that bit in Temple of Doom where Indie goes, "See you later BAD GUY" and then slams the door on the airplane, revealing he's stowing away on BAD GUY SHIPPING INC

I've seen enough. My wife is my mother and I fucked up so bad. Where's that brooch pin

"The CIA conspired to make me less cool than I was when I was 25" is the most succinct Gen X manifesto I've ever heard

Enough of those, I will be checking in with The People's Columnist

DCU loses! Very sad! Sell the team.

hello jesus. i want to play a game.

It’s amusing in that people occasionally ask me how I do my job while maintaining sobriety. The answer “one day at a time” seems reductive, but it’s also true. You don’t remember last year’s speech, right? You won’t remember last night’s speech by Friday. There’s more to talk about.

The Mighty Milkshake Ducks

Nobody should watch the State of the Union, but because you do, I make money, so.

some of the olympic women including maddie mastro have been reposting this if you’re curious about the vibe in response to the US men’s little display