🚨Art Crime Longread🚨

Random strangers used to know. 😭

Sometimes I’m like, “The Pacific Northwest isn’t a foreign country, you’re being dramatic,” and then the kids show up to summer camp and there are government employees with a dead fish and some paint to do a fun craft.

hold up

One of the children has taken to the garden to weep. Sometimes it’s fun to see your own behavior reflected back at you. Just a family of extra bitches.

Okay, for #PPP96 I have to honor my girlhood and go Fiona Apple's Sleep to Dream for my MAIN nom. A superior track to Criminal, imo, because it's defiant rather than repentant.

Y’all gotta get in here, I have four times as many songs as I have noms.

The organization that spam mails me to quit my union is on its most cynical argument yet. I keep the raises and the contract whether I pay dues or not, why not just not pay dues?

Ugh so overstimulated by my children, thank god they’re asleep now so I can scroll my camera roll and look at their stupidly cute faces until my eyeballs are so dry they fall out of my head.

I’m no longer capitalizing ai.

"Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth."

Thank god someone summed up the whole library budget crisis—with clear calls to action—because it’s difficult to explain. (At least I find it to be.)

Would love to know more context about this doc because these values are not reflected in the @timberlandlibrary.bsky.social that I frequent, nor can I picture them being implemented. ❤️

Each of these is a 6 month pinhole exposure, from winter to summer solstice, in order 2021-25. Today is the summer solstice! I currently have this same camera going, to be harvested this evening, and then refilled and begun again for the summer to winter stretch. #solargraphy #solstice #photography

Fully roasted by my husband handing me a book called Seahorse Is Furious And There‘s Nothing You Can Do About It.

Using Shazam in the car to identify a song playing from a mix CD that was created using Genius Mixes in iTunes when that was a new feature in 2008.

Name a TV show you're positive no one remembers but you, Lindsay Price edition.

Pre-bed summer shower is better than air conditioning.

I live in the painhole now.

I hung up my free print from the zine fest I went to a couple of weeks ago. 😭

This is my culture.

Another perfect closet. Fill up that bag!

LOL

By the way, the little outfit they give you for your mammogram? A serve.

*basketballmen

You only get one stupid life. You might as well make something dumb

Hmmm.

I wish I could make a gif of the face the teen at the phone store made when I asked if there were any phones without AI built-in features.

A Beanie Baby from a message board that my mom had to take me to the Post Office to get a money order to pay for. Incidentally I’m having my first mammogram tomorrow. So.

Stomach in full revolt and one of the safe food genres is protein-bro fuel so I keep opening wrappers that say stuff like IT’S TOUGH TO BEAT A PERSON WHO NEVER GIVES UP.

Got introduced to the wrinkled pride flag discourse against my will yesterday. “The folds represent the people in the closet.“ BUY AN IRON, VANESSA

The shorter you are, the worse they are for you! It puts more pressure on your knees! Okay, love you!

I stepped on a thorn so big that my husband kept it for miniature wargaming terrain.

This post pairs nicely with today’s @halliebateman.bsky.social comic. Optimism is in the air!

Hangnail moon.

Release the uncut version, you cowards! youtu.be/E_66gXXfrbA?...

That was fun. rose.systems/animalist 97 animals listed 𓃱🐧𓅪🦏🐦🐦🐦🐦‍⬛🐦🐊🐊🐆🪱🐛🦖🐦𓅦🐦🐅🦁𓇼🦪🦊🐌🐈‍⬛🐶🐐🐑🐦🐨🐙🐦🦜𓅳🐦𓃰🐍🐟🐟🦓𓅨🐦🐟🐄🐣🐖🦘🕷🦂🐛🫅🐟🐟🐟🐟🐒🐵🦍🐼🐻🐻🐟🦈🐟🐟🐟🐸🐜🐻‍❄️🦭🪸🐦🕊️🐦🦝🦔🦀

Spiderhawks making a lot more sense in the context of the fever my body is currently sweating out.

“I don’t really care about sports but I think it’s nice that the Spiderhawks won the Super Bowl.“

In a way it’s worth it to have an ex-husband for no other reason than to have an additional dream archetype for your subconscious to really go wild with.

Oh my. This is spectacular. sinceyouarrived.world/taken

it’s hair chopping season ✂️

I rolled over to hit snooze and the bed slats fell through. The universe is over my shit.

I liked them before it was cool.™️

I really do believe in the importance of great food writing and reporting. The restaurant and food service industry is the country’s second largest private employer. Most adults have worked in a restaurant at some point in their lives. This is big stuff! 3/

I enjoyed this personal history via food media. It touches on a lot of things I haven't thought about in a bit, including @jayasaxena.com on those tacky-on-purpose restaurant pepperoni cups and the reason Alison Roman got cancelled. (Potential spoilers for The Matrix Revolutions?)

As a kid waking from the parking lot into Astroworld, my dad always told me that the pedestrian bridge we were walking on was the only privately owned bridge over a freeway because LBJ did some kind of handshake deal while he was still in office, and I don’t know if that’s true but if so, it tracks.

SORRY MOM AND DAD I WAS JUST VIBING