I am soul-crushingly sad about the state of the world.

Have a person in your life who can call queso dinner. A pound of Velveeta, a pound of ground beef, a can of Rotel, chips chips chips, food coma into bedtime.

Today I started crying as a Walmart employee asked me what my lost purse looked like and the thing that I had to choke out through tears was, “Like a piece of toast with a—with—with a pat of butter on ittttt.”

Bear, 8, squeezing my arm: Hey, that looks fat! Me, giggling: Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Bear: Good. It means you must have ate some food. And you’re healthy.

The world is bad, but a tiny bit of your money could do some good.

Outstanding journalism. Signe the petition to free Charles: actionnetwork.org/petitions/ch...

The fact that Houston/Dallas beef exists even on death row is the most Texas thing ever.

📦 b o x T i m e 📦

The only thing I eat from now on is our house special: GF cheese pizza with gyro meat, cherry tomatoes, red onions, and roasted tomato labneh.

You: It’s okay. Go to your happy place. Me:

The plot of Speed but instead of a bus, it’s The Decemberists, and instead of going below 55 mph, it’s singing about the sea.

Pleasing.

Death, taxes, and the ambient temperature of IKEA being juuuust warm enough that you start to lose your mind by the time you get to the warehouse level.

ilu so much, let’s log off

This is, quite literally, me. I Googled it this morning.

A perfect blog to read over breakfast if you know nothing about the climbing man. open.substack.com/pub/idiotsco...

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Met the Night Hag this morning. She seems nice.

Drifting off to sleep on the couch (because in THIS house we quarantine) and I smell ketchup but do not see ketchup, and please fog don’t let me wake up with it in my hair, amen.

Copy and paste the bunny and then put something else in his hand. (\_/) (°-°) />🧃>

I have so many words muted and I just took Nyquil. Only the abstract posts are getting in and there isn’t enough brain power to decode them.

I saw the tv glow scream dot gif

You don’t have to tell me Idle Hands rules, I know Idle Hands rules, it has Dragula and Static X on the soundtrack, we’re on Bluesky we’re all the exact age to recognize Idle Hands as the classic that it is

I don’t ever need Isaac Mizrahi to know a single fact.

The algo really knows I’m bi sometimes. youtu.be/WT9MlYb1dXs?...

We thank her for her service. 🫡

Tobias, very likely the genesis of my whole thing for sad boys.

Me, on the verge of a nervous breakdown: This split of prosecco needs something. Me, also on the verge of a nervous breakdown, peeling pepperoni off a leftover slice of kids pizza: Mhmm, for sure. On it.

Be the colleague doing someone the mercy of muting them after they do a big sigh and said “oh fuck” in a meeting that you want to see in the world.

Sparkles is serving today.

CHLOE QISHA, BABY

I really am

iCloud wrapped but it's just how many times you used Find My Phone and then you have to live in shame forever.

Literally crying because of what a big deal this is. I did my master's thesis on it and the impact of it is so, so big.

The Last Dinner Party vs. Sharon Van Etten is TOUGH.

Hugs from the hug guy.

1 goes very Michelle Branch’s The Spirit Room to me. (Complimentary.)

Clomping to the office to the beat of this banger. youtu.be/chJu5t4GRA8?...

Time to log off and touch grass. 💕

Sometimes all you can do is make the world 0.0000000000001% less awful by being a good person and it feels very meaningless but it’s also the only thing that really matters

“I don’t like your new glasses, Mom.” My dude, it is 7 a.m.

Disability isn’t a binary. Theres a whole fluctuating spectrum of ability because bodies are gonna body. Also how refreshing to see someone both identify barriers AND suggest some ideas to minimize their impact.

A perfect last sentence.

So many of my faves enter the Criterion Closet and their whole vibe suffers irreparable harm. Florence Welch would never. This is how a closet pick is done. youtu.be/p4g1Tz4F8Vo?...

I will be needing monthly updates on everyone’s lemon pigs, please and thank you.

The last picture in your roll is your vibe for 2026

The best part of last night’s lemon pig deep dive is that I was 100% sober.

I feel like this lemon pig.