every Pacific naval encounter in WW3 will be the USS Golden Trump, Glorious Harbinger of Antiwoke American Dawn versus six identical copies of the Type 055 We Built This Yesterday supplied by a ship that does nothing but make birthday cakes for the other ships

A pedophile game show host and gang of third-tier comedians with podcasts helped the Nazis retroactively win WW2. You're not going crazy. This is what actually happened.

i wasn’t married but i am now. women love the vehicle.

"what is your point?" there isn't one, I am simply online

Generally speaking if you are at the equator the sky is rising and if you are around 30° north or south— say, New Orleans— the sky is falling

often confused with parapsychiatry, which is when i do talk therapy for ghosts

I call on etsy to slam in the back of my dragula

how i ended up flying from a birthday party in oaxaca to a concert in luxembourg last summer

releasing myself from the responsibility of trying to convince teenagers on r/gothfashion that we all looked Like That in the 90's because of the way silica-based setting powder interacted with traditional flash photography and not because everyone was painting themselves with Kryolan Clown White

From ‘The Onion’ Editorial Board:

damn it you have to lead a hostile witness to get the sound bite never say “when were you lying” ask “were you lying then or are you lying now?” (pause for the objection, “withdrawn, no further questions”) i do love being a litigator

🚬

I don’t think I can be on this website long term. It’s just getting the absolute worst news blasted into my brain from the moment I wake until the moment I sleep. It’s not the fault of anyone on here—there’s just an insane volume of bad news happening at all times. Only now I know about it all

This might be my favourite cat meme of 2025 so far

catching russian troll farms in action

TL cleanse www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk-B...

dude this party is such an echo chamber. it's just friends hanging out and chilling and having a good time. you need to invite some people over who want to kill you with hammers

the parents burden is trying to explain popeyes to a child who is old enough to order chicken but too young to read kafka

if there are no questions your honor i’ll rest on my postes

10 oz tequila 2 oz mezcal 3 oz orange dry curaçao 1 oz yuzu dry curaçao 4 ish oz fresh lime juice 4 ish oz dark agave nectar ice to about an inch over the liquid level blend until smooth drink until you pass out on the couch and are awoken by a houseguest’s foot upon you

So Viking ladies dying in between the legs of a maiden count too

if made it with smurf it would be called schtroumpf monsieur, and they would put a napkin over their head while eating it to hide themselves from god americans would argue that smurfs are sentient, to the retort that it has a proud gastronomic tradition i didn’t sleep much last night

second chair flautist guest lecturer at the china university of geosciences beijing lawyer for the then president of sierra leone (has since been indicted for treason) attended elton johns oscars party scammed onto a us space force mardi gras float and blasted very gay dance music for five hours

last year for tdov i matched all donations to translifeline and we raised $8000 it was fun. light. this year it seems more existential so let’s do it again. post your donation receipt and i’ll match it reskeet, qs, spread the word

when life is sad, burrito is there. thank you burrito.

I will die for you, A 4-Hour Long Video Essay on A Theme Park.

Tesla's stock is ridiculously overvalued, and even a modest consumer boycott could tank the company, which accounts for the majority of Elon Musk's wealth. The divestment movement weakened apartheid South Africa. Let's do that again. slate.com/business/202...

It's been tough to look at Bluski lately. It feels like I'm visiting a friend who I like but who's constantly telling me about all the horrible things going on in the world and with them personally, just a constant stream of Very Bad Stuff.

We don't even have to outlast Trump. We merely need to outlast his political capital, and through retaliation we will burn more of his power and credibility than he would have burned on his own. We merely have to stick together till then

in the end the ick you take is equal to the ick you make

Bluesky has been flooded with automated reply bots - they'll offer a sort of confrontational opinion as a reply. They're pretty convincing and we all need to train ourselves to not reflexively reply to all responses until we check Dead giveaway is new acct, few followers + original posts

Dude’s gonna say and do dumb, cruel, fascist shit until he croaks. I don’t need specifics, the memes, the classic jokes about how he’s fat or orange. I need to make it through the day.

I am a nuanced man. I have never used that app, I think short form video is ontologically evil, and I don’t think the US govt should have banned it. That said, “influencers” were arguably stepping stones to the modern era of fascism, if not one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse outright. lol

no you may not “make the bed”

😔

guess I didn’t embarrass myself

the loaf has decreed it is illegal to make the bed

in the end, i think adulthood is defined by the realization that no love is unconditional

look i made it the 1979 ibm warning

absolved absolved absolved you are all free of sin

to all cat owners reading this, I think you should give your cat a treat right now. Your cat has been so good and so patient and is so hungry so surely they deserve a treat do they not?

evergreen

amazing to see @jana-aych-ess.bsky.social in print

me: if nicki minaj’s cousin’s friend had met that guy’s mom’s 3 second vagina then technically his marriage could have been saved panic! at the disco: please leave or I will call the police

sibling has obtained sole custody and the kids have been returned the kids mom is allegedly already pregnant by her new boyfriend. good luck

i’d fund a sequel to hamlet II called hamlet II 2