artists, quote with something smooth & silky

artists, quote with something jaunty

tfw you take a calculated risk but forgot basic math

Imma 'bout to motorboat some samosas

tamales

so they either said there is nobody like you or nobody likes you and i am choosing to believe it was the former

little-known fact: a French horn is so named because to get a halfway decent sound out of it you're gonna need to stick your tongue way in.

slow down, Philip; damn! while this has been a fun experiment, i prefer chasing rabbits the old-fashioned way.

Taken Thanksgiving day, nice show by Mother Nature in Marina del Rey, Los Angeles #photography

They did it, they defunded our education so massively that we’re here now

we're running on a platform of ritual sacrifice: a billionaire a day until these mf'ers pay their damn taxes

sauntering through days, weeks, months, years, eras, eons, & epochs; cavorting with dwarves, & forever under the gaze of the Supreme Being; to you that's a great many lifetimes. to the Time Bandits that's Tuesday

One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.

He had salt and pepper hair. And oregano eyebrows. His lips were basil leaves. His entire head was a jar of Italian seasoning

for your birthday i artistically rearranged my face into a shape resembling happiness

Are people on television allergic to saying, when ordering food, “I will have“ [the thing that they are ordering]? It rubs me the wrong way in so many ways when someone says “I’ll do” [the thing that they are ordering]. “I’ll do the steak” is so wrong.

ultimately he became a caricature of himself: he asked to be cremated and commissioned drawing to be made with his ashes.

gaze upon my fur, hairless human, and tell me it's not the most luxurious you've yet seen

just paid 95 cents for a used vinyl record and all i got was this Nickelback

koru has visited The Past

please stand back from your pithy cutting comment; Verbal Forensics will test it for sarcasm

ambling along in relative peace, i turned onto a street hitherto unknown to me. presently i came upon a dark alley. my curiosity led me down that alley. as i neared the alley's end i saw staring back at me an unparalleled horror: a processed food

rent too high out here

proposed merger: bed bath and beyond meat

feeling v fortunate to have seen Tame Impala on the last night of their tour. this is "Elephant" 🐘

4 out of 5 scientists say it's the greatest thing since sliced biopsies

I used to be a metal head and now that I’m grown I’ve metamorphosed into an elder goth

if i was a bedding man, i'd be a comforter. because let's get real: who couldn't use some more comfort right about now.

little-known fact: dollars to donuts in pre-EU Greece was drachmas to dolmas

yeah he's a content creator. he creates a "con tent" which is like a house of lies without the class.

they woke up and decided on Declaring Our Utter-Dependence they'll permit us to endure strife, tyranny, and crappiness

“What if poor people abuse the system?” The system intrinsically abuses poor people. Hope this helps.

Winters is Coming

NEWS FLASH

This is Oakley. He has an injury that requires physical therapy and at-home massages. Luckily, his cat sibling River has been training his whole life for this. 14/10 for both

For those not up on aviation lingo, a "ground stop" is when you're grinding on that special person and there's a knock at the door.

a juggernaut is an astronaut with jugs

I for one will welcome our Chinese overlords #Beerjacket #China #Tsingtao

lil paddler 🙂

as i walked along A Street i thought about her in a sundress and nothing else. i turned the corner and before i knew it i was Horny on Main (Street).

#moviesky #filmsky #comedysky MONDAY BE LIKE

"i forgive and forget" that's nice. i remember and hate.

tfw you are what you eat

down with the dicktatorship from Santa Monica

you don't often hear horses describe their food as "farm-to-stable"

🐸

Gargoyle mode engaged

"the value of a democracy can be measured by how we treat minorities." --business owner in Barcelona

My American Grift Adventure