The eldest is doing Actual Guitar Practice on the guitar they were bought as a birthday present years ago. What is going on

Oh my god, it just hit me He was staring at the screen because he was waiting to see his own face He was waiting for his own reflection to turn around My God

A reminder that the English national anthem goes "WEEEEE LOOOOOOVVVEEE THE KIIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGG" over a funereally-paced 3/4 beat, whereas the Mexican national anthem goes "WE'RE GONNA FUCK YOU UP" over a galloping 12/8 beat.

BREAKING: Man arrested in Kent for eating a burrito ahead of England's match against Mexico. "We don't think he's from round 'ere," a witness is reported to have said

Antoinette "Toni" Halliday. Born OTD in 1964, Parson's Green, London www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ7_...

Fuck off home dirty racist shitbags

Young American guy approached me on Byres Road this afternoon and said, "We're inviting people to church this afternoon," so I said, "Mate, you're in the West End, they're all agents of The Evil One round here, get out while you can."

I have such an expertly curated algorithm that I'm seeing posts from Mexican street food restaurants in the US and this is how they're advertising the game tomorrow night. "Good vibes"

Some wee diddy actually tried to slide down the bit between the escalators at Glasgow Central. Honestly mate, what did you think was gonna happen

Why did the loyalist chicken cross the road? Because his father crossed the road and his father before him and his father before him and DON'T YOU FORGET IT BOY

My best friend is in a band and is trying to make it big. I've bought and downloaded everything they've ever released. Never play them and skip their songs when they pop up. They sound like a herd of goats in distress

new metaphor just dropped

Dammit, I can't find my t-shirt with the picture of the Pope on it going "U OK HUN?" Always the way, isn't it

the kelce bros tearfully disassembling their bunk bed

Been trying to work out exactly what the fuck it was that landed on the back of my neck when we were at the main stage of Primavera Porto a few weeks ago, and I think I've narrowed it down to either an Egyptian grasshopper or a praying mantis. No really, I'm fine. It's fine it's fine it's fine

we are one day away from the funniest VAR offsides graphic ever

saw a truck for a company called Absolute Chimneys and I can’t stop saying that to myself as if I’m an English soccer announcer calling a free kick that sailed over the crossbar

Love how the change of start time for Mexico v England is being reported as "7pm UK time" rather than admitting they're going to be playing in the middle of the day at over 2,200 metres above sea level.

trump whispering to the Teddy Roosevelt AI to ask if dying is scary

It would be really funny if It Happened on the 4th of July

"Silence from Sammy Wilson" is not a phrase you'd be accustomed to seeing

We went to the Barbie exhibition and saw all the Barbies and whatnot and HOLY SHIT, 'Earring Magic Ken' was as gay as a wagonload of Liberaces

the idea that there should be such a thing as 'AI Growth Zones' should be enough for everyone involved to be kicked into a ravine

Oh mate, fuckin' hell.

While we're on the subject of Teddy Roosevelt. He became president at the age of 42. John F Kennedy became president at the age of 43. Jon Ossoff will be 41 when the next election comes around. Just saying.

Nothing to see here, just a man who has the nuclear codes claiming to have had a conversation with someone who died over 20 years before he was born. It's fine, totally fine

Following in the footsteps of France and Switzerland's Government who banned Palantir from Government contracts, Spain has now banned Palantir from signing ANY contracts in Spain. Lets get Palantir OUT.

Hearing reports of a huge rift in the Catholic Church. I blame it on all those wafers and wine

No, YOU started nodding off during a quiet bit of the film and had to be prodded on the shoulder by your teenage daughter

she ordain on my bishop til I excommunicate her heretical sect

Me watching Lobo in 'Krypton': Shit, where have I seen that dude before? Emmerdale? Corrie? Let me just... Aaah! Yes, Hollyoaks. (repeat every time he appears) Me watching Lobo in 'Supergirl': Why the fuck is Jason Momoa playing Lobo? He's already playing Aquaman. This shouldn't be allowed

So annoying that Wings and Sean Clerkin keep getting credit for breaking the SNP embezzlement story when actually they're two weird misogynist creeps with a personal vendetta against Sturgeon who made malicious complaints, in the investigation of which the cops discovered a totally different crime

bold of them to go for Magazine's Permafrost but at least it's original

Just me and the wee yin in the house for a couple of days while @lori-up.bsky.social and the bigger wee yin are in Paris. This will involve lunch from Greggs, Supergirl at the cinema, dinner from the Chinese takeaway, a Barbie exhibition and homemade pizza. In that order. #dadding

With thanks to Alister Pearson for the heads-up — the Swedish title screen for my Doctor Who story TERMINUS

[starmer voice] the best way to achieve peace is to prepare for war. the best way to kill a man is to punch yourself in the face. the best way to paint your kitchen is to eat a goldfish. the best way to drive a car is to drop your trousers. the best way to a man's heart is just off the M25. the best

So thrilled to hear that nice Mr Burnham suggesting we could take greater public control of our water supply ya fud

“Humanity is frying itself alive but refuses to turn the stove off, because the fumes smell quite tasty. This is how I would summarize our collective cognitive blackout. Stupidity has won” My new article

This is just flat-out criminal. {gift link} www.nytimes.com/2026/06/28/w...

Might start a metal band called VVërvvülf in which the band members have to dress like medieval peasants smeared with mud and shite.

VVërvvülf

Randy Bumbum. Is this anything

wandering the Sonora desert in a carefree fashion like

Guards! She's escapemaxxing! Siezemogg her!

The National, Wind Your Neck In And Stop Making Shit Up Challenge

Older lady peeped the rainbow flag on my bike, asked in a thick Russian accent “It’s your Pride?” She told me her youngest grandchild is “not she berry or he berry but no berry.” I said “Nonbinary?” She got so excited. Yes! Yes! And “Is a secret, but they are my“ *looks around, whispers* “favorite.”

Customer: five hundred dollars for this jacket sounds a little high. Can you go any lower? Me: [extreme Barry White voice] five hundred dollars

'The impact on post-industrial electronic band Coil on disco biscuits was always going to inspire something significantly different from UK producers obsessed with Chicago and Detroit grooves.' The Sound of #MDMA: Matthew Collin on #Coil - ‘Further Back And Faster’ buff.ly/jrAU3mP

I heard rumours about Donaldson's flat well over a decade ago. It was 'common knowledge' here. It could have come out at any point. Ask why it's coming out now.