always read the fine print

Pin Update: The pins have broken containment. They cannot be held back by a simple lanyard. They demand more surface area. I’ve purchased a scarf and will make the transfer for at-home display.

JD Vance personally invited Pope Leo to the U.S. 250th celebration on the 4th of July. Today the Vatican announced Leo will be spending the day with migrants instead.

Obvi!

i dont even GO here but im so proud of this person, deadpool would actually hit this pose

This was *my* Closing Ceremony and it was perfect.

Ladies Gold Medalist: stripey hair, piercing she did herself, wins skating to MacArthur Park, says fuck on-camera. Mens Gold Medalist: this guy. ⬇️ Absolutely the correct champions. 👍🏻

Clarification: *the Tenacious D cover* of Hit Me Baby One More Time

😍😍

there is still time for USA men's hockey to get involved in a low-stakes scandal overnight. golf cart theft, public urination, petting one of the bomb-sniffing security dogs despite repeated warnings. just throwing out some options. otherwise i question their desire to win

The I LOVE MESS Olympics

I know Apple doesn’t need any more business but the camera on this iPhone 17 pro is sick. I’m quite far and the zoom shots are spectacular.

Figure skating is a brutal, unforgiving sport that is an absolute killer on the psyche, so ending the Games with a fuck around fun time gala is the absolute best. There was so much joy on the ice and in the building. A few skaters are STILL in the ice and the crowd is almost all gone. ❤️❤️

if you didnt watch the gala, you absolutely have to see this and the shaidorov panda routine

Figure skating is the best sport because no other sport schedules a "just fuck around" segment into its competition.

EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH THIS

More Panda spins, Ilia moonwalking as everyone dances, folks touching the log on the ice, a selfie. I’m getting emotional. They have done so many goodbyes and none of them want to leave. Now they’re bringing their cellphones out on the ice to take pics. ❤️

THIS IS THE BEST Ilia and Adam Siao Him Fa did synchronized backflips and then the Mortal Kombat and soccer dude (we missed them) pretended like they were gonna do it and fell.

I only had eyes for the Panda - my bad, that’s def Deadpool not Spiderman!

OOPS DEADPOOL!

Gold medalist in my heart and in real life!

Alysa Liu giving jewelry box ballerina vibes 🥰

Okay guys. Kazakhstan’s Shaidarov just did Kung Fu Fighting in a panda suit, got his ass kicked and then spun by Mortal Kombat dude and Spiderman, finished to Hit Me Baby One More Time and then hugged Jackie Chan. (Not a MadLib)

MORE MALININ

Ilia seemed emotional after his dramatic solo skate, the vocals saying “is this what you wanted” over and over again. The crowd went CRAZY for him in support.

Italy’s Conti & Maci just got the whole place of fans, volunteers and even photographers dancing to a medley of the Macarena, YMCA and Cottob Eyed Joe.

Chock & Bates just steamed up the place

Ilia = insanity

Estonia’s Nina Petrokina just did a number to Cell Block Tango from Chicago and murdered multiple men’s individual stars around the rink as she went… including Ilia. So fun!

YOU GUYS I LOVE THIS GALA Team USA all skated together to a medley that started with We Will Rock You and ended with the hockey team’s gold medal song, Free Bird!! And they’re all SO joyful! Ilia splits backflip & a quad, too.

At the figure skating gala & the pairs silver medalists from Georgia just performed to a medley of Mortal Kombat & True by the Spandeau Ballet. She wanted Valentine’s plans, he suggested video games, then eventually caved to romance & then chucked hearts into the crowd. Folks, it ruled so hard.

He thinks he’s a bobsledder. Good luck.

Our taxi driver’s got Olympic fever too… …even while driving.

Unreal press conference strategy from new IOC president Kirsty Coventry where she repeatedly turns to her PR team off stage and personally blames them for not making her aware of various Olympics controversies, saying that “maybe someone needs to be dismissed”

Ready to go for the 3rd heat of two-woman bobsled! It's a tight race with no fewer than 7 or 8 sliders who have a shot at a medal here! Laura Nolte leads, but has Lisa Buckwitz, Kaillie Armbruster Humphries, Kim Kalicki, Kaysha Love and others in the hunt! Thread below, live on Peacock in the US

awesome story —Mia Manganello starts speed skating in 2003 —retires after missing 2010 Olympics, becomes a pro cyclist —returns in 2015 —in 9 seasons, makes 0 individual World Cup podiums —suddenly, this year, starts winning —announces she'll retire post-Olympics —Olympic bronze in final career race

The BEST story

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG🥇🇺🇸🏒 Sat down with two-time gold medalist Kelly Pannek and she generously let me wear her newest bling.

Who wants to join my year-round skimo fantasy league?? Serious inquiries only, please.

It’s a Party In The USA! Women’s hockey wins gold! What was Hilary Knight thinking when she tied the game? What should Megan Keller’s OT goal be called? Is this the last we’ll see of Knight vs. Marie-Phillip Poulin? The nerves, goals, celebrations & reactions! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/g...

Apparently Meg Thee Stallion is here but I haven’t spotted her.

A fantastic hand for Brittany Bowe from this crowd as they announced this was her final race.

Dutch fans go crazy as Antoinette Rijpma-de Jong hangs on to win. Get that lifetime achievement in aluminum medals presentation ready, @sickoscommittee.org - it’s *another* fourth place for Brittany Bowe.

Brittany Bowe in 4th with 2 skaters to go.

Up next: BRITTANY BOOOWEEEE

I’m not saying she’s obsessed with me, but Tina’s literally everywhere I go… 🤷‍♀️

One last race for Brittany Bowe…

Someone has finally topped Kok. 😏 Canada’s Valerie Maltais into first with 10 skaters to go.

👀👀 Coupl’a big winners in attendance for speed skating…

When I tell you Elana Meyers Taylor is the best… sends me this on race day!