folks it is not your grandmother

Just steal the blueprints from ANY OF THE OTHER DOZENS OF COUNTRIES WITH UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE???

"One thing I can't figure, sheriff Brody: if no boats entered or left the harbor after 6 PM last night, how could Chrissie Watkins have died in a boating accident before sunrise?"

For comparison, here's what a whole lot of practice will get you (this is still in progress)

If all of these people dropped dead tomorrow, nobody would notice

Good thing the Dems caved on that shutdown.

[Guy whose dick fell off because there's a girl in star wars] I would probably do well in a civil war

For comparison, here's what a whole lot of practice will get you (this is still in progress)

My first ever scratchboard, circa March 2003

Who's searching "boner" honestly like isn't that a given in most porn

There's something crook going on with my local AMC theater with regards to specific smaller "AMC Artisan" movies which are somehow completely selling out on weekday afternoons, leading up to them leaving the theater.

Every episode of Columbo should just be called "Nice Try, Asshole"

Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.

MORPHEUS: They're coming for you, Neo. I can guide you, but you must do exactly as I say. Take the elevator to the lobby and go to the CVS across the street. Purchase 5 Steam gift cards at $200 each. Scratch off the protective coating on the back and tell me the fifteen digit redemption codes. Hurry

12-year-old boy "there should be a jungle gym in the airport!"-ass thinking

Ask your doctor if The Internet© is right for you

We keep talking about this like it’s a debate, but this is a self-explanatory phenomenon: If A.I. was good, it wouldn’t be IN THE NEWS when a famous artist starts using it. No one writes an article about Miyazaki trying out a new brush.

Columbo Goes Caribbean

cool just let me know when they're all dead

I feel the clients now using GenAI to do stuff and going "good enough" when they used to nitpick at every last detail is due to them finding out all those nit picky changes take time and work they cant be bothered to put in.

Baby we got a floatin shelf going

Sometimes in life, the gods smile upon you, my friends.

I know it's 100% the networks' doing but all these crime procedurals where "this non-cop is a genius at solving crimes and chooses to work with the police"? Boring. If I could solve crimes with my supernatural ingenuity, I'm not taking a desk job with the FUZZ

Anyone need a mini Ketel One branded cocktail shaker? I have SEVERAL

The number of times I've been forced to emphatically say "oh, fuck you" out loud to an inanimate app, website, or device in the last 12 months has skyrocketed

If you want to wring every possible emotion out of a Polaroid commercial, get Gonzo to effortlessly deliver that emotion by the bucketload... Crikey...

Robbed of the FIFA peace prize

I didn't actually realize it was nearly universal in the Americas

It may sound radical, but if one guy has so much wealth and power that he can use the large newspaper he owns to publicly threaten to ruin a service we all rely on, presumably as a bargaining tactic to get lower rates, we probably need to tax that guy until he can't do that anymore.

My dad's into Tulsa King, Mayor of Kingstown, Landman, and Mobland and now I know how he felt when he'd mix up the names of the Ninja Turtles in 1992 "what's this one, the Mob Mayor of Kingsland?"

"Tradable asset out of any difference in opinion" just means "making money off social media engagement". That's it. Rage bait with a Paypal link. Which already exists. And it's already corrosive and everyone hates it. But yeah I'm sure this dude is a GENIUS VISIONARY

Regret to inform y'all that having a niece has only made my love for gift-giving even more robust and powerful

Spent multiple days working on just the engraved runes + details on mjolnir and it is RUNE-ing my hand

Y'all see the moon tonight? [exhales] what a bad bitch

This composition had eluded me for nearly a decade, but yesterday I was finally able to capture it. A train rolled through just as the Duquesne Incline was crossing over the tracks in #Pittsburgh, creating a picture perfect winter scene. It was worth the hours and hours I've waited over the years.

The Segway killed its creator and birthed both hoverboards and those free city scooter things so. Quite a legacy

Revisiting 1994's Little Giants, can confirm 8-year-old's Justin's review was accurate: it's pretty great. Former Heisman winner Ed O'Neill just tackled a couch cushion out a second story window + hit his nards on a branch on the way down. The next day, he's arrested for allegedly leering at kids

I have come to the idea that we have to collectively, brutally, ritualistically kill Target just to show capital that we truly aren’t fucking around.

The number of times I've been forced to emphatically say "oh, fuck you" out loud to an inanimate app, website, or device in the last 12 months has skyrocketed

This little slice of fried marshmallow is somehow 8 years old, as of today. All of these pics are from the last 12 months. He is somehow still certifiably as soft, sweet, and smooshy as he was when he was a baby. Perma-puppy Hamilton

Often, "we live in a simulation" is one of those takes/opinions that dumb people offer up to sound smart. It's fringe enough to seem edgy but none of these dumb-dumbs actually came up with it. They never have anything serious or significant or clever to add to it. We all saw the Matrix, settle down

I’m sure I’m being repetitive but this funny video, actually hits so many good bullet points, I am taking this post to remind myself to jot them down as a rapid fire answer to “why don’t you like AI?”

The effortless shift in discourse from people insisting that anything that isn't a white statue of a dead roman dude isn't art like 3 years ago to demanding that they be treated as visionary artists for typing" x-men mystique big boobs she's my girlfriend" into a prompt window

I had a tortuous dream where all my closest friends + family were inexplicably terrible but then I realized in the dream that I was trapped in a hyper-real horrible Mysterio-type illusion. When I woke up, I decided Spider-Man would be 100% justified in killing anyone who did that to him

I haven't seen anything from the new Beatles Anthology thing but do they mention that John Lennon was the best man at Peter Boyle's wedding because I learned that elsewhere this week and I'm very compelled

Slop Evader is a tool from artist and researcher Tega Brain that lets you search the web for results exclusively before November 30, 2022—the day that ChatGPT was released to the public.

Someone turns 3 years old tomorrow so in addition to actual toys + fun stuff for gifts, I made her some bracelets

Australia recorded ZERO cases of cervical cancer in women under 25 for the first time since they started tracking the cancer in the 80s. This is the power of vaccines. The HPV vaccine is extremely effective at preventing cancer. Viruses can be oncogenic. Get your vaccines and protect yourself!