Active vandalism spotted in Ashfield

Team on Bargain Hunt just got minus twelve quid and the bloke said "ah well, better than nothing" No. No it isn't. It's literally worse than nothing.

Up there with the Mike Myers one

can't stand animal blokes at pubs. Sitting in the corner at croc farm in Ashfield waiting for a bus, just listening to these two bozos sing country music and Make barking noises, watching videos of cars doing donuts as I type this, shut up brother

That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they give me less anxiety that they’re talking about me

customer with a million shopping bags who was moving around like Vincent donofrio in men in black after being escorted out for suspected drug use 'do you know who I am?????' lmao

I hope bill gates goes to prison, not for the pedo stuff, but for whatever he did to make my phone BEG me constantly to sign into a Microsoft account

Yall ever be waiting at the doctors office wondering where tf the doctor is. This is like if I went to a swamp and a witch wasn't there

Remember when they said the internet is forever and we shouldn't post anything that might haunt us later in life. Remember that? And now there's decades of information being wiped while people post the fourteen words under their legal name. What the fuck happened with this world

The computer lost the mandate of heaven when the humble, helpful "program" was replaced with the insidious "app"

said goodnight to the old bloke who chucked a wobbly about being cut off like twice (crashed his car after the first time), then was like 'I'm never comin back!' (of course they did), wouldn't read about it, gave me attitude. what a fucken baby.

incredible name on a guy who was in the movie im watching for about six seconds

You know you make me wanna (SHIT!) Throw my legs back and (SHIT!) Spread my cheeks wide and (SHIT) Come on now.

🚨REAL🚨Discovered something so incredibly dangerous to me personally, which is that every food item on the grocery store app has reviews

old Mediterranean dudes look at you when you go near their table in an RSL like you've just broken into their house

took years and years, but I've finally come across someone who plays daggy music out loud on the train, just had Toni basils 'mickey'

goldenrod city game corner has 30 machines, just like any pub in NSW, but only 5 punters, turnover must be shocking, don't see a future in it

Every bus driver who looks like santa loves to scream at teenagers about not tapping on

Deb: Marie, I don't like you coming over here uninvited Marie: Why dear? I thought you liked it when people went in to others homes uninvited Crowd: oooooooo Frank, poking his head in the window: From the river to the sea Deborah Crowd: woooooo Frank: Anyway what's for dinner? Crowd: hahahah

told a drunk guy I cut off tonight that it wasn't personal and he latched onto that and was like 'no it is personal!' which he wouldn't have said if I didn't, so I'm cutting that one from my repertoire

Doing work training where the questions are like: Why is it important to create a safe work environment? Option 1: A safe work environment allows staff to engage in work without danger or fear from harm Option 2:

Royale with Cheese

i can Phil it Collins in the air tonight

Facebook friend recommendation: some cunt you've never heard of

Nothin get you out of a depressive slump quite like a bunch of bugs turning up on your ceiling

Bill Maher, drinking the worst scotch in the world: that’s what they always do, they say they’re for equality but it’s always the man on the bottom it’s always men being the problem Grogu: “oooh bappa” or whatever sounds that little freak makes Bill Maher smoking weed: it’s the same with the Emmys

ernest goes ape shit

The music in the barn building scene in 'Witness' sounds exactly like some shit you'd hear in a village in Dragon Quest 7

playing shin megami tensei and I am so, so good, at beating big bosses when my main guy has just died. my xp!

out for a walk and this big lumbering squeaking industrial truck is going by absolutely blasting a song with the windows shut, took me a minute to catch it through the muffle, but old boy was blasting seal kiss from a rose, hell yea man

magnifique

my fav thing about working out west is how old style the bartending is, I haven't had anyone order a 50 or a bruiser in easy 10 years, there are west coast coolers in the fridge Least fav thing is how old school the bar tending is, you gotta cut these guys off constantly

old cartoon about when I used to like next to a national park

Just had a dream that featured a 50+ year old failson of a mobster who squandered a bunch of mob money on his terrible films and when trying to explain himself is using terms like 'it's a meditation, here, levitate with me' whilst gettin yelled at. Then youtube woke me up.

this woman tonight at work kept ordering drinks and saying her son would be there to pick her up soon, eventually I was like is your son driving up from Canberra or something and no, they were flying in from Perth, so fair play

Look at what @iainnd.bsky.social @m1lfm4n.bsky.social and @marthburton.bsky.social did. You got him all giddy and now he's posting shit like this

Ted Turner, like so many before him, is a man I thought was super dead decades ago

trying to get fucked up in this rsl club, shiny hunting for a zapdos, just told the bartender that's what I'm trying to do, asked what my favourite alolan pokemon was, alolan ninetales of course, sorted me out

There was an unfinished Freddie Mercury/Michael Jackson duet that Mercury put a hold on because Jackson wouldn't stop bringing his pet monkey into the studio and asking him what he thought

I have never seen anybody get on a metrobus in my life

Threads has become a class 4 cognitohazard and needs to be terminated immediately

The nationals senator who said that a tax on tobacco was done with the idea of killing off the industry would do the same to fossil fuels. ???. People still smoke. There is no black market on australian gas. If you tax gas exports, those muddas will still buy it.

watching the video from the aus institute about Japanese tax on gas imports V no tax on our gas exports and one of the senators used the term 'whatnot' and I had a flashback to this shit guy in HS who'd say 'whatnot' after one other example. Fucken hated that guy.

another head just came up to me, asked if my 3ds was a battery pack, told me he'd won a bunch of money and was trying to find his brother, then tried to get me to come out partying with him, it's 4:25am brudda, let me shiny hunt moltres in peace

dude just sat down next to me at the pub and after a brief chat asked me if I believed the Sega Saturn was in any way related to the international space station

big anzac day at 5pm cutting people off trick 'did you go to the dawn service at the rsl?' yesssrrhh okay time to go!

at the pub, fella asks for the tv to be turned up, staff didn't say a word, changed it, wrong channel, guy chuckled, guy came back, guy said I think it's the wrong channel, guy didn't say a word, fixed it, guy said thanks. After working out west, I'd die if I didn't say 'no worries' at least once

Loud stereo system blasting “Cars”, except instead of Gary Numan it’s Randy Newman and the synth riff is played by a brass band and the B section has a rollicking piano over it and it’s on repeat and you can’t turn it off or escape the room

watching district 9 for the first time since it came out and remembering my mate when we walked out of the cinema 'so keen for the sequel!' brudda