Jeffrey Epstein sent a complaint to ABC about how it’s taking too long to reveal Laura Palmer’s killer

He needs to go to jail - putting the same recipient twice in the To field

The world is fucking on fucking fire. Please enjoy this picture of Don Adams from an episode of Celebrity Bowling before we all die horribly.

One thing the kids really love in the 2020s? Beastie Boy sound-alike songs

@mariobones.bsky.social Joppy Wirthday!

I understand the “Why” as far as the military industrial complex, but like. Why do they even need to have guns? They’re already evil enough because of the racism and the powers granted to them. You don’t really need to give them weapons to murder people on top of that

I didn't see anyone talk about this last week, but I've seen it today and it's all I can think about and it's my curse to share it with you

Remember: nothing good ever happens

Search history of someone experiencing gastro: stop vomit and diahhreah gastro symptoms how long to stop am i like this forever now gastro vs death pros and cons how long survive on no sleep gastro contagious period home delivery white bread & electrolytes origin of phrase copycat missingno fanart

I’m gonna write a Red Scare episode of Happy Days

Watching pornos and getting distracted after discovering some new inspirations for interior design

It’s Niebelheim Flashback Tifa

It puts sun lotion on its skin, then it gets to drink from the hose again

Some of the movie reviews on the site are so bad, they shoulda called it BetterLocked! We’ve got a great show tonight, stick around, lots of good stuff coming up after this

Tomato and potato do not go together as flavours. Tomato sauce* on chips**? An affront. Some other thing where people put them together? Absolutely not *ketchup *fries

If you ever get hit with a curse that can only be broken by saying three consecutive letters of the English alphabet backwards as a word, just keep this one in mind. No need to thank me

Okay wait I think I know what can help

I worship our brave boys in blue for their bravery. But they're allowed to do anything to anyone when they get spooked, like a horse.

The Threads vibe is so hard to describe. It’s dire and dumb and full of engagement farming but then you also get accidental perfect posts like this.

I think we're all in agreement that it was wrong to teach Americans the C-word, right?

I was actually the first person to say the phrase “Oh no you don’t”

American liberal who definitely knows how to read voice: ENOUGH about Hillary and her “arrogance” there’s literal WAR happening because of the Orange Buffoon!

No but I’m sure THIS US president has a good reason for dropping bombs on foreign cities

Spending two months' pay to make a custom fleshlight in the shape of my right hand

The year is 2026 and I saw a guy wearing a “Vote For Pedro” shirt at the shops

Games are bad again

Just another normal day on bsky dot app

Spinal Tap II: The End Continues was good

Hi everyone. I got Metroid Prime 4: Beyond from Iain for Christmas and I started playing it today. I want to be able to remove Myles McKenzie from the game (either through violence or a menu option) but apart from that it really feels like a Metroid Prime game so far. I’m up to the second area. TFR.

Meanwhile, no-one going with my theory that 'Shame' with Michael Fassbender is just an arthouse 'Alvin Purple'.

Exxon Valdez nuts

Helpfully sending this to the OpenAI lawyers to cite as precedent

To face them, afraid The dance that we made Flossin’ in a winter wonderland

I saw some sort of David Letterman Christmas fairy and it cursed me to share it with you

The Chechen voice: My dogs are hangry

@fiddyshadej.bsky.social Jalen wake up they put Godzilla in Sonic www.sonicstadium.org/articles/son...

Hey boss, I saw we were running low on toilet paper so I got the big ones with the dick on the side just like you like

Finally remembered to share this screenshot from early in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. What a way to go

Oh yeah. Sure thing, let me burn this installation file on a CD in the goddamn year 2025, Linux installation instructions

Only some sunshine when she’s gone

Miss Vamp …Hello

They should release Pluribus when it feels like Friday

Had fish for dinner, which unfortunately means I now have the Fish Farts

I keep forgetting what a goldmine the IMDB Parents Guides can be

Really cool internet we've built

Anyway, the wind blows

They’ve really whored out The Grinch this year. Macca’s, Peter Alexander, probably a third thing

Lots of talk about these awards for gay mers and I gotta say these things are really getting out of hand. I’m all for representation of minorities, but an entire night dedicated to queer people with fish tails? (An aide rushes onstage) What do you mean it’s not even called the Gamer Awards?

Down with woke …fonts?