Gonna put up one of those “There Is Evidence For God” billboards but instead of a baby or a bible or whatever it’s a photo of my cat.

Just told Lauren an outfit she bought makes her look like “a sexy hobbit.”

Neck fucked

“Craig, would you pass me the mayonnaise?”

BBC ANNOUNCER VOICE: Lewk. Layer. Hann. And of course Chyewbacker. You’ve seen their many travails through the coz-moss at the cinemah

Going to that place in Zion in the Matrix where everyone is dancing and politely asking them to play Toby Keith’s “Shoud’ve Been a Cowboy”

This reminded me of this classic post except that everything has gotten far far dumber and more made up

This is what they took from you

I am also making a Gremlins 3. The premise of mine is that the gremlins have their own little society where once a year they pick one among them to be reborn into a new life. And they aren’t really gremlins anymore, they’ve been domesticated a bit and they sing and dance and are a lot more jellicle.

Can’t believe Dick Chaney couldn't even last four days into No Nut November

Now, most unsettlingly, no ping pong balls anywhere to be found at all.

Dick Cheney died I'm gonna keep on dancing because Dick Cheney died I'm gonna keep on dancing down in west hollywood I'm gonna keep on dancing because Dick Cheney died, Dick Cheney died

I can’t believe they killed Dick Cheney just because he shot that guy while hunting

We’re late but we’re live! twitch.tv/mattfromalaska

There Will Be Mechs The Battletech stream is tonight at 6! @johnweinert1.bsky.social and I will be live, ready to answer all your burning mech and hockey related questions. What’s the difference between a SRM 4 and SRM 6, and what exactly is “goalie interference” anyway? All this and more, tonight!

Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too

Today In Gaming History: Did You Know? The Battletech Stream is live and the show begins in five minutes! twitch.tv/mattfromalaska

day and night the lonely stoner seems to borat voice my wife

The long awaited return of the Battletech Stream is tomorrow night! @johnweinert1.bsky.social and I will be reunited to bring you everything you could ever want - as long as it’s a turn based mech tactics game! Tomorrow at 6pm!

The five words every girl wants to hear

sorry but i laugh every time i see the words “heat 2.” just something about it

If you’re excited for the World Series, why don’t you check out my game MUDRUNNER? It’s a comedic sci-fi choose-your-own-adventure game about nostalgia, consumerism, and, of course, baseball. It’s short, and it’s free! jweinert.itch.io/mudrunner

The only thing I got at Tower Records was this Cats LP - when I saw it I gasped loud enough that Lauren heard me from the other side of the store.

Bags were stuffed to bursting

Putting on my slippers and going oooooh

Okay it wasn’t that flight. Maybe this next one.

Had a dream last night that I died in a plane crash. Right before it happened a flight attendant got on the thing and was like “hey we gotta crash land the plane and it might explode and kill us all so please remain calm” and then it exploded and killed us all. Anyway, boarding our flight home now!

rest assured, this will be the third time Tron has failed to become a franchise, and we've become exceedingly efficient at it

@jacobsee.com was very impressed at how well behaved @iainnd.bsky.social is in person.

Just an awful day for Seattle sports, what with the Kraken losing in regulation for the first time this season. God it sucks so bad. I can’t even think of what could be worse than that.

Star Wars fans rejoice! A new piece of merchandise is single-handedly reviving the Star Wars universe 🚀

Sorry Donald, Goofy, “no kings” includes King Mickey. *cocks keyblade*

@iainnd.bsky.social your store is here

@mattfromalaska.bsky.social looked for a mew in two large Pokémon stores and finally secured one… in a game center

I’ve been having a lot of fun pulling up shrines on Maps and seeing the number of stars people have left in review. Lotta 2 and 3-star shrines around.

It’s time we had more movies about submarines and I’m sick and fucking tired of having to say this obvious truth!

dudes rock

Seen an ambulance pulling up to the hospital..i hope the doctors are ok

Booking a flight back to the USA. I will personally end this baseball game.

That stuff is happening in Portland because the boys haven't been streaming.

Being around so many large groups of people reminds me that I really love humanity, I really wish we all loved each other more.

Just walked past a guy wearing a shirt that said “FUCK JOB”

Matt, finding the smallest gacha corner I’ve ever seen: “Oooh no. I’m gonna spend a lot of money at these.”

Thirstiest man in Kyoto

24 hours of travel later and we have made it to our first hotel room. I’m not sure if I’m still alive or not

Almost had a panic attack in the customs line. But then I didn’t 😎

In the bathroom at SFO and the guy in the stall next to me just said “Oh no, what the fuck dude.”