What kind of absolute loser country loses to Turkiye

Went to this banh mi place a month ago that was all hip and shiny. 12 bucks and the only vegies on it were lettuce and tomato. Went to the more typical looking one next door, 8 bucks, 2 dollar drinks and easily top 5 ever. Can't overstate how much it's lifted every Tuesday since.

Evergreen

I'm sorry sir but the domain DrBalls appears to be taken Okay, then give me:

Masters done

Idea I just had: even longer weekend

Should be able to downvote other people's restaurant reviews

Googling how to get rid of blackheads: My insta ads 20 seconds later: clear skin for 800 bucks also what's that face fat doing we need 10 people in your area that are absolute ghouls for a free trial

Root beer? I would if I could mate haha

always be practicin

I don't believe this is a real conversation that happened

Why aren't the american accounts I follow on insta that are asleep right now posting about the blues winning!?

I'm never going to die

I can't post my thoughts about Laurie Daley or I'll get banned

Ray was right Deborah sucks ass

How do you even convince someone to listen to Drake "Yeah look he may be a pedophile but his music is also garbage"

Doing work training where the questions are like: Why is it important to create a safe work environment? Option 1: A safe work environment allows staff to engage in work without danger or fear from harm Option 2:

The people on that Last Meal show never express any remorse for their crimes

I'm not a wizard, but I could definitely see my mate Saruman getting heaps in to Sauron

Lost 150 bucks somewhere a few months ago. Just found it. Good stuff

Talking to a Gen z kid like someone teaching sign language to an ape: "One Day You too Will be unc"

They're calling it the brownest meal ever

Who is the dinner roll from KFC for. Who is hungry for that

Giuliani on his way to 4 Seasons Hospital

Last time I went to a buffet I left a little disappointed because I was trying to be responsible and left a little hungry. This time around I think I've irreparably damaged my relationship with food

Just watched Atonement. Crazy that we're now closer to the release of that movie than the release of that movie was to WW2

Came out of the work bathroom and the receptionist goes 'we could all hear you in there lol' and I was about to be sick before realizing they just meant I was singing Mississippi Queen a bit loudly while peeing

Gay Harry Nilsson be like: One is the gayest number

Had some really bad news confirmed today, so I got a double quarter pounder and thickshake from maccas for lunch. Normally a small leftovers lunch guy, and I don't know if it's more the time I've had to process stuff, but I've spent a lot of time quietly thinking back "...that was fuckin good but"

Why do they call it Heated Rivalry. It's Hockey. It should be something like Cold Rivalry haha *20 minutes in* Gotcha

Kid: I get Jesus dying on Friday, and rising on Sunday, but why do we have Easter Monday? Jesus 2000 years ago dipping back down after leaving: haha...forget me keys *shuffles rocks around tomb* thought someone would've been home upstairs

There's a section on our work HR app called 'Sick Leave Rules' like yeah man it sure does

As a man is there anything more fun than leaving all the kitchen drawers open

First time ever trying to split the G. It took soooo many little sips but I nailed it! #splittheg

We left our old internet provider about a year ago and now that old one has purchased the new one and will be reabsorbing us back in to their business. Leave us alone you weirdo

Did the guy that came up with the spelling for 'impromptu' get shot halfway through? Where's the rest of it?

Dude driving the car in Midnight Cowboy trying to improv back: "uh, hey 'I'm walking here', I'm dad!"

rip agro

There's a method for catagorising how far from normal certain views are. This is called the Overton Window There's also a method for catagorising how far from normal a man's level of make up can be while delivering the news This is called the Peter Overton Window

Master's arrived in the mail

Girl put on Bridgerton and the first character I heard mentioned by name was 'Mr Bridgerton'. I assume he's in charge

If footy was a part of the body it would be so back

Guy at the pub has said 'cheers big ears' to his group 3 times now. It's good to try out new things but it just ain't hitting man

Didn't even give him a chance

Bout to 'it's not really stir fry weather is it' my way into something truly bad for me

The zoo keepers ganked that monkeys parents to make him more loveable

Went to the movies for the first time in a while and forgot how bang on the name is. I don't think that picture stopped moving once

Second worst parmi I've had

Don't know why but the term 'bears a striking resemblance' always makes me cringe when reading info about fictional characters.