It’s been five years since Alex Jones lost InfoWars to the Sandy Hook families. As the verdict came down, he asked: “Do these people actually believe they’re getting any money?” He hasn't paid them a penny. Well, The Onion is going pay them anyway. The new InfoWars begins July 2nd at 8 p.m. ET.

News: The Onion is launching the new Infowars July 2. After years of legal wrangling and months of maneuvering by Alex Jones's lawyers to block its takeover, the Sandy Hook families are finally getting their first check... from The Onion. www.ms.now/news/onion-s...

DO YOU SING?

Father Ted and Dougal will not be performing at the Freedom 250 concert.

CONFIRMED: The Wonka Scotland Oompa Loompa girl has formerly withdrawn from President Trump's America 250 concert.

Immigration make Britain brilliant

"Time marks" should read "pine martens," which is completely obvious in context. Looks like RTE Kids content is transcribed by AI, edited by AI & published, without ever passing before a human eye. This is supposed to be educational content (& what it's teaching is kids is "ah fuck it, it'll do.")

"You boy - are the media still pretending it's OK that someone who wants to be Prime Minister covered up a £5 million gift?"

Monday 11th May 2026: Operation shitshow continues Of course I'm still closed - what did you expect when the Leader of the Free World is incapable of cogent thought?

I still love the theory a Year 6 child proposed to me that David Attenborough is actually God and he got fed up with people not noticing the amazing things he'd created, so he made documentaries to show off.

“Hey, I’m Luke’s Uncle Owen, and I dress similarly to others here on Tatooine.” “And I’m Luke’s Aunt Beru. I wear a jean jacket over a butterfly collar blouse and look like an extra from the Partridge Family.”

A Short Poem for Star Wars Day Her name was Yoda, A showgirl she was.

“Humanity goes before the sport - it's that simple." Former Palestine captain Imad Zatara wants to send a message to Irish football - boycotting the games against Israel would send a powerful message to the world. Full interview & video here: philipoconnor.com/humanity-goe... #SpeirGorm

When a King and direct descendent of King George III has to remind the American government about the utmost importance of checks and balances, you know we're in deep trouble.

Wednesday 29th April 2026: Am I still closed? Bears, woods. Pope, Catholic.

Currently reading Robert Harris Imperium, 2006. Describing Cicero.

i’ve worked in tech more than 20 years. it has never been more ridiculous.

When I talk about the motherhood penalty being a choice, that it is caused by policies made by those who are not impacted by them, this is what I mean. The key players here are all men. www.independent.ie/business/in-...

The priests in Ireland clearly backing the Pope 😂 #speirgorm

Absolute scum!

The Muslim Sisters of Éire will not be able to provide their much appreciated soup run to folks in need due to the protest and the blocking of O’Connell Street. "This is especially difficult given that we have been running this service outside the GPO for 11 years."

According to my Granny, Jesus was crucified at precisely 3 p.m. Irish time on Good Friday. She told me this when I was five or six, as a thunderstorm turned the sky dark, and I fully believed that the crucifixion synced itself to Irish weather like some kind of holy seasonal event. #spéirgorm

Duke Shelby having a 'self made' tattoo on his right arm. Ur the final boss of nepo babies pal. #TheImmortalMan #PeakyBlinders

A new baby is great 'n all, but the drama of Easter is unmatched. Will never forget seeing the parish priest washing the feet of a few 'lucky' parishioners on Holy Thursday! #HolyThursday #speirgorm

The Good Friday opening has killed the Holy Thursday buzz. No more panicked queues or buying three slaps of beer for a single day of prohibition. #speirgorm

Trump gets ready to press the big red button. Just before he does, out of the corner of his eye, he sees it; the bowl of shamrocks, appealing to his better nature. "Ah begorrah, I can't do it!" he says, collapsing in a sobbing heap. This is why the Patrick's Day visit is essential, please share.

Happy St Patrick’s Day!☘️

SpaceX's 1 million AI satellites could cause "massive ozone depletion" and change the night sky forever - but the FCC has no requirement to check before approving them. Astronomers are now scrambling to submit their concerns. Story by me in New Scientist www.newscientist.com/article/2516...

I’ve found it, I’ve found the worst take

Here we go again. We need an “agent of change” principle in this country. They knew there was a club there but skimped on the sound proofing. This stuff is on purpose. They shouldn’t be rewarded for it. It’s entirely their own fault.

Why is Holly Hunter sitting in the captains chair like a bored teenager on a beanbag? I really want to like this show!!! #StarfleetAcademy #startrek

Looks like the bots will unionise before tech workers.

Just think about what would be happening in the US right now if Kamala had been elected.

Reform!!!!! Good grief

🤣🤣🤣

Prediction. Trump & Beckham meet at Davos. Beckham slags off Brooklyn, Trump invites Beckham to sort out Gaza, the one brain cell they share is overwhelmed and Becks kicks Paul Gascoigne’s head in as a warm-up to invading Greenland while Trump goes home with Posh (she doesn’t notice the difference).

The thing I’ve enjoyed the most about the Brooklyn Beckham story is lots of Americans in the comments assuming he put his nanny on the top table at the wedding over his mother, when he talks about Nanny Sandra

Bronx Beckham would never treat his parents in this way

I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of peace

Amazing thread

The Bolsonaro of Mountjoy.

#ResistanceRoots Artist Wefail has created an image of Trump devouring America in a reimagination of Francisco Goya’s Saturn Devouring His Son. Goya’s painting is one of a group of 14 works known as the Black Paintings, which were created during a period of extreme psychological distress. /1