she was a burgerlunch. she was a soupdinner. can i make it any more obvious?

oooooh massive internet outage knocked out a bunch of AWS stuff we love the entire internet being propped up by one company

"Smart VAL" holy shit it's me

i don't know how we went from "my house has a security camera that we can go back and check if anything ever happens" to "i am watching a live feed of my front porch at all times and if a child walks into my yard i'm going to scream at them over the intercom"

society would be massively improved if ring doorbells were banned completely actually

actually living in a neighborhood means other people will occasionally be near your house. that's literally what a society is. other people aren't your mortal enemy. YOU go live in the middle of nowhere if you think you're surrounded by criminals

so like. is she straight or is she normal?

the real reason lesbians use vibrators is because they scare the cat out of the room so they don't interrupt you

my first 2 alarms are not for getting out of bed they're for waking up just enough to readjust and cuddle my girlfriend before the last alarm which is to get out of bed

I drew Hornet with some bugs.

Real life is kind of a reverse Metroidvania if you think about it, you start out being able to climb and wiggle into places and fall from great heights without a scratch, and then one day you're ability gated by such as waking up wrong

the mountain goats are Hamilton for people with treatment resistant depression

remains to be seen whether it is the express opinion of bluesky trust and safety, but i personally am not a fan of pedophiles and their enablers

okay so — bill kezos, umbire, link. what is the pattern here? why was moderation stricter for them than it is for anyone else?

"do your own moderation!" and "make your own instance!" are hogwash. they're empty bad faith platitudes. "just make your own PDS! and your own relay! and your own appview! and host all of them! and then you'll finally be safe from the petulant baby tirades from our pathetic C-suite losers!"

i'll be honest i always had my money on bluesky tanking after the venture capital stopped flowing but i think staff meltdown seems pretty likely at this point

So, to recap, Link said something about Jay that she didn’t like, so she dug all the way through his account in order to create a pretext for a permaban. Petty and think skinned doesn’t even begin to describe this.

Banning Link, one of BlueSky's most prolific Black users, over the CEOs crash out defending her pet transphobes is totally unsurprising but still disappointing. Someone should tell the team that the social media utopia for white moderates already exists and it isn't here.

This is genuinely some bullshit on bsky's part. A reaction meme of charlie kirk gets a Black person a permanent suspension, but people who actively doxx and spread hate against marginalized people not only get to stay, but het followed by mods? We see you, bsky, and it's pretty fucking disgusting.

welp

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my only successful tech grift and turn the terms of service into the terms of shit

i'll be blunt: jay is a liability

Are women bourgeois?

A day at the skull museum.

Remembering the time GCYoshi told me his mantra for luck-based games: Even if you have 50:50 results, your brain will always weigh negative outcomes heavier. It'll feel 30:70 Compound that with misunderstood odds/probability and...

i'm too jaded and irritable to start all over again on yet another platform so if this place implodes i'll simply join floyd on the balcony and while he growls at passing dogs i'll yell out what would have been random shitposts at their owners

i remember when Elon first took over Twitter and was namesearching and personally modding people criticizing him, cool to see Jay doing the same thing here, very healthy, normal behavior for the head of a company

The CEO of Bluesky is craven and evil. The only people that build these platforms are infected with the self-reproducing moral rot of capitalism. They have no sense of duty or stewardship. They see their monetary reward as a cleansing justification for their actions.

If you get used to treating people like things eventually you start treating things like people And then bluesky hires you to goon on the clock

the point of having a comms team, just so everyone is clear, is not only to write better statements than you (which everyone arrogantly thinks they don't need) but also to give others the power to take your phone away when needed, because this is patently embarrassing at this point.

can someone take her phone away jfc

bluesky reinforcing a time-tested truth: it takes a very special kind of Stupid Motherfucker to be a social media executive

They’re gaslighting us. JS violated TOS so BlueSky changed the TOS to avoid the right wing backlash that would have come from banning him. It’s like the reverse of when Aaron got caught liking teen porn so they made embarrassing Aaron with his public interactions against TOS

Bluesky mods had *just* finished banning trans people because a brigade of Rowling terfs asked them to, and then immediately started banning trans people because of a brigade of literal fucking groyper nazis asked them to. At no point in all this did Aaron stop gooning to teen porn on the clock

Bluesky's current moderation policy is crafted specifically to allow the coordination of mass transphobic harassment campaigns off-site. Crafted specifically to protect one guy, a well known pedophilia apologist, harasser, and child doxxer who is *currently* openly collaborating with kiwi farms.

So: is it really an abject failure of moderation if it does so very clearly indicate the values of the people making that policy? The purpose of a machine is what it does, after all.

There is never an excuse, not even an economic one, to protect a pro-pedophilia mass harasser who is openly collaborating with kiwi farms to coordinate a mass harassment campaign he is openly bragging about.

time to bring this one back, huh?

CEO: we're all trying to improve this place You: so you're gonna kick out the guy who keeps trying to kill me, right CEO: You: You're gonna kick out the guy who has literally helped kiwifarms target me personally, right CEO: WAFFLES

The best screen time app in the world is a needy little cat who loves you; one who will bonk your phone out of your hand when you need to give her attention instead of phone

And above all, you let life defeat you. All the gifts your parents gave you, all the love and patience of your friends, you drowned in a neurotoxin. You let misery win. And it will keep on winning till you die -- or overcome it.

i'm a proponent of the zero-hour work week

pillsbury crescent rolls: the original fleshlight

Just to recap, the actual president found an AI-generated video of a fake news report depicting a fake announcement about an imaginary healthcare system based on a technology that doesn’t exist and posted it on his official social media account

How the fuck did bluesky label this graphic media, it is a happy little dog being sung a happy song about himself The fuck are the mods doing here besides gooning on the clock

i don't think i've ever had a single package delivered correctly by fedex. fuck fedex.

you are not immune to typing "ls" into a chat app thinking your terminal is focused

pepto jizmol. would you swallow? #sponsored