I wish the internet was more about people 3D printing whistling mortar bombs for their very happy dogs to chase than arseholes secretly filming unsuspecting people for grifting and humiliation but I guess that ship has sailed

My cartoon for this week’s @newscientist.com

I have to believe that the Studio Lambert chose to edit literally *any* of the contestants going 'but the police are useless, though' in response to the whole 'Amanda thought Jade was a Traitor'.

I was dancing with Stephen and his mates at Glasto and asked him what he had been up to. “Not much,” he said, never revealing he was in (and had won) The Traitors.

I'd love to do the RDPB bird watch but at the end of an hour I would record a big fat 0. Three cats and a dog will do that to a garden 🙄

Board of Peace - Season 1

There are loud (I think that's just their normal volume) young republican Americans on the train talking politics and I have never, ever been on a train carriage so tense. They are missing all the cues of British silent seething, tuts and glares from all passengers. One stop to go. Tense.

'The #AssistedDyingBill is about to die, killed off by a small coterie of peers against the will of the House of Commons and voters who have supported the right to die for decades.' Our Vice President @pollytoynbee.bsky.social ⬇️ www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Ned Stark and the lead singer of Elbow go birding. #BirdLinks youtu.be/m9aroePaO90?...

THEY TRIED TO GET A WARRANT TO CRIMINALLY INVESTIGATE THE WOMAN THEY SHOT DEAD

Look, I believe in casts, but if a parent has strongly-held anti-cast beliefs, they should be allowed to let their kid’s broken arm grow back all floppy and fucked up, even to the point of lifelong, debilitating pain. And that’s not child abuse because a kid’s bones are their parents’ property

Here ya go. Enjoy Cats vs Bears😂😂😂

You know who”stayed a little back” in VIetnam? DJT.

Also the funny thing with the Amanda stuff is well, it's not like you'd assume a police officer might pick a suspect and work backwards

Well played, Stephen

Poor Jack, the sweet summer child

Stephen has got a great line in jumpsuits

Poor old Jade, done for by the world's worst detective

Silver fox

Old joke truer then ever ​A large russian patrol is marching through the snowy woods near the border when they hear a voice shouting from behind a nearby snowbank: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten russians!"

Uh oh, slip of the tongue

Fake it* till you make it** * counterfeit money ** go to prison

I just saw a guy on the phone in Tesco. He said 'OK... OK. Thanks for telling me.' He then put back into the fridge two bottles of champagne which he'd been about to buy. I'll be thinking about it for a while probably.

Looks devastated about being disinvited from the Board of Peace. He’s hardly keeping it together.

Great news, gang: if you've got an extra 30 million bucks lying around, get in one little fight, and your mom gets scared, you can move in with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air! www.realtor.com/realestatean...

Hello tiny band of followers! Shortly I will be asking people in London to join me in an experiment in observation. I’m telling you now because a) I would be very grateful for any RTs going spare and b) I probably will repeat it a few times in the next few days. Ok thanks love you byeeee

And wham!

You're watching BBC Scotland.

in 2018, I coined* the phrase "The May Paradox": the desperate desire to see her gone, despite knowing that what would follow would be much worse. Going to update that to The Trump Paradox. *might have seen it elsewhere and shamelessly nicked it.

We’ve officially reached the "Mean Girls" stage of international diplomacy.

That would be since... 2016? I wonder what happened then?

Turn 1 of Civ be like:

The Brexit latest seems to have moved from strong independent sovereign nation to country entirely dependant on US funding and defence for its survival. Thanks.

I just thought everyone should see this

Europeans after managing to prevent the collapse of NATO for another 1-2 weeks… #Europe #Rutte

Sorry but I love how there's a visitor book at Chequers, like it's a B&B.

is it a good sign that 2 people you've invited to be on your "Board of Peace" can't join you in Switzerland because they would be arrested for war crimes?

Noooooooo #cliffhanger

the woke mob is giving He-man pronouns

I like how this polar vortex is shaping up.

Carolina Wren #birds #snow #photography

The Marriott Sarajevo hasn’t forgotten them.

The old Gorton constituency was also the one that George Galloway contested in 2017. His return could spell trouble for Labour, if he splits the left vote, but could also worry Reform, by splitting those who want to vote for an absolute cunt.

Someone f'd up at Davos B&Q mixing that colour

The best way of describing someone who’s all talk and no action that I’ve ever heard in the UK, by far, is “they’re all wardrobe and no Narnia.” * read on for fun ways of saying “all talk and no action” in other languages (a thread)

Whilst Stanley Kubrick's ‘The Shining’ and Jim Henson’s ‘The Muppet Show’ were filming next door to each other at Elstree Studios, Danny Lloyd got to visit and hang with Kermit in 1979.

Unfortunately Monty from Dyrham Park does *not* appreciate his nice new neckerchief. 📷: Mark C