lent and ramadan kicking off on the same day

roses are red cherenkov is blue just use a screwdriver what's the worst it could do

36 / 30 / 3 Sparks #popmaster

30 on round two #popmaster

36 on round one #popmaster

It’s the 141st anniversary today of the US publication of Mark Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Why had this famously American author’s work already come out in Britain and Canada (on 10 December), though? Well, because someone had drawn a cock in the US version... 🧵

Why do the quote marks make it seem like people are being homophobic to the beavers?

Good morning to whoever came up with butt lift crackdown

Tom's got plenty. Plenty to go round

Wednesday

Today is the first day of Ramadan, the first day of Adar, Lunar New Year and Mardi Gras. This means that for one reason or another, the majority of humans on the planet have a reason to eat fried food, and that is beautiful.

Tom's got plenty. Plenty to go round

People talk about this stuff in terms of how much it'll suck for gaming and I hate to inform you how many MRI machines, X-Rays, all sorts of other vital machinery are just a Windows IoT Edition PC in a beige plastic box with a big magnet/accelerator/whatever attached.

Pretty sure Wuthering Heights would be getting a lot better reviews if they’d used my theme tune that I sent them. Yes, I know I’m just singing Wuthering Heights to the tune of Blankety Blank but it’s catchy as fuck and will let everyone know they’re in for a good time at the flicks.

This evening I 'ave been mostly swearing at pancakes

Happy 70th birthday to ATV in the Midlands…

Advertise your account with a GIF

Hetty Baynes is the actor in this ad. She co-wrote a film with Ken Russell, her then-husband. Why does my brain retain information like this, yet I can’t remember my own PIN number?

Happy Jif Lemon Day to all who celebrate

It is vital to increase the birth rate to offset the number children that I, as a single childless woman, trap in the oven of my gingerbread cottage in the woods every day

When you just paid for fruit.

Me whenever I have to communicate with other human beings #anxiety

39 / 36 / 3 Luthers #popmaster

36 on round two #popmaster

Jesse v Marvin

Full house on round one #popmaster

Happy Jif Lemon Day to all who celebrate

WORD OF THE DAY. Begat. What Jay Kay off of Jamiroquai wears on his head.

47

Lots of worry and misery in the world but Australia lost in the cricket again so there's that.

I owe you all an apology. I failed to mark the 11th anniversary yesterday of the 20th anniversary of the Great Northern Jerk-Off. I also missed the 30th annual Great Northern Jerk-Off in 2024, and have been unable to establish when the 2026 Jerk-Off was or is being held

Give a man a phish he's lost his password. Teach a man to phish he has all the passwords.

33 / 36 / 2 Housemartins #popmaster

36 on round two #popmaster

33 on round one #popmaster

Exactly. This is not a lot of money. And once destroyed you don’t get to rebuild it.

Compare what happens in your average football match with what Italy captain Michele Lamaro said about Hollie Davidson after Italy’s narrow defeat in Ireland yesterday. Both of them are heroes.

So deeply unfair. She did nothing wrong at all, was the victim of a vicious, grifting, bigoted bully. And she's the one who has been forced out of public service.

We had a whole day yesterday when it didn't rain and now we are paying a thousandfold for our hubris. It's like a Greek tragedy but with weather instead of incest

Holding a pack of Bisto as Ottawan's D.I.S.C.O. comes on the radio creates an earworm of almost unimaginable horror.

When you've necked your pill before going into the ground and it kicks in.

if you’re seeing this it was meant to find you today

[flirting] *you're

Case closed. They finally arrested the iceberg.