Compare what happens in your average football match with what Italy captain Michele Lamaro said about Hollie Davidson after Italy’s narrow defeat in Ireland yesterday. Both of them are heroes.

So deeply unfair. She did nothing wrong at all, was the victim of a vicious, grifting, bigoted bully. And she's the one who has been forced out of public service.

We had a whole day yesterday when it didn't rain and now we are paying a thousandfold for our hubris. It's like a Greek tragedy but with weather instead of incest

Holding a pack of Bisto as Ottawan's D.I.S.C.O. comes on the radio creates an earworm of almost unimaginable horror.

When you've necked your pill before going into the ground and it kicks in.

if you’re seeing this it was meant to find you today

[flirting] *you're

Case closed. They finally arrested the iceberg.

Your poems are shit, and so are your stunts. You shout at hotels, you wife-beating cunts.

Just seen a statue of a man posing for his Hinge profile pic

Goddamn right it's a beautiful day

Feels like TV companies have forgotten about, or simply don't care about, making "slice of life" documentaries. Feels like we need them more than ever now, to understand why everyone is so fucking mad these days. www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUIr...

You call it a Love Meter, I call it a Valentine Dial. (This is a great joke for at least 26 of you)

The talk to your friends app and the witness the horrors app being the same app is not great for the mental health is it

He wasn't initially called to religion, but then he saw the light.

I'm really worried this morning, there's this big bright shining ball of light in the sky that I'm sure has never been there before and everything up there is this blue colour when it should be grey. HELP!

Saturday

Back to just the four editions next week and honestly it's a bit of a relief. Laterz! #totp

POV: you’re being aggressively seduced by Lynn Faulds Wood #totp

Sorry I think I just drank my guitar #totp

Wurzels fan representing #totp

LOD #totp

Oh so that's what happened to the Blue Peter garden #totp

Bloody hell #totp

To You To Me Are Everything #totp

Keep it light Art #totp

Can someone please RSVP so we can get this over with #totp

Fire in the Taco Bell #totp

Mr Demis. #TOTP

"...so they're completely inconsolable" #totp

The Justified Ancient of Mumu #totp

Demis is being filmed from three streets away #totp

Post an image you can hear

I love my radio my [covers mouth] DJ's [uncovers mouth] radio #totp

You see a ghoster, the sight you fear the moster No hold on, wait... #TOTP

STOP TEASING US WITH I WAS A MALE STRIPPER PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND DURING THE LINKS. #totp

I keep screaming. Mostly between 7 and 8 tbh #totp

Timbuk 3, better known as Jeffbuk 3's dad. #TotP

"Those aren't stars, they're asterisks" #totp

Be safe. Be seen #totp

They've changed #totp

Bet Pete's singing along with this #totp

My Level 42 story - when I worked at Network Rail, I turned down a request from the band to promote their comeback album at level crossings #totp #totp1987

Ben Eeking #totp #bitstartled

Vaguely threatening harmonising #totp

Powell dressed as The Equalizer off duty. #totp

Yeah start feeling them up then Pete #totp

Blondie performing in my primary school's assembly hall apparently #totp