This is what your uncle thinks life is like in cities. This is why he posts weird indecipherable stuff like “Omaha has fallen” on Facebook

Slightly increase a band Ramtwos (Ramones)

Earl Sweatshirt's fancier cousin

Right wingers need ballroom because they keep injecting saline into them

Repeatedly hitting myself in the balls with a hammer to make them look more beautiful

News used to be better

A lot of people misunderstand what Trump meant by "ballroom". He actually wants to put one of these in the White House.

I will never understand the liberal obsession with posting disgusting orange caricatures of Trump. I hate the guy's stupid ugly face, why would I want to look at a stupider uglier version of it?

The French name for charmeleon is reptincel..... lmao

Rudy Giuliani has fallen down the stairs at the Met Gala

Gen Z has rediscovered the Flintstones & is realizing how dystopian the America of today is compared to 2 million years ago "Watching The Flintstones... has solidified my belief that I would have likely been happier working in a quarry as a brontosaurus operator."

Why is he wearing a diaper?

will never understand the boomer generation’s obsession with not retiring. Hell i’d retire right now if i could

It's nice that AC/DC did this study but perhaps they should stick to making music and leave this kind of work to medical professionals

why breed dogs with jaws large enough to tear through Flesh, when you could breed dogs with minds large enougj to tear through Fallacy.....

Centrists on here will say, "oh you want to firebomb a Walmart? That pales in comparison to my strategy, voting" and then firebomb a Walmart

It is too soon for jokes about Trump's assassination. It hasn't happened yet.

LAWYER: The shooter shared your post: “Bugs Bunny is a two-pump chump. I’d show Lola how to smash ‘Animal Style!’” What did you mean by that? ME: That Bugs Bunny cums fast. LAWYER: He lacks sexual prowess? ME: Yes. LAWYER: Did you consider that posting something this inflammatory might be dangerous?

Helping raise money for those affected by the WHCD siege

This picture is more American than anything Norman Rockwell could have ever dreamed up

Sex Cauldron!? I thought they closed that place down!

how it felt to play game boy under the covers with a light when you were supposed to be sleeping as a kid

Gavin Newsom looks like if Seth Meyers was cast to play Patrick Bateman

"Someone tried to strangle Sneako", "Clavicular just had a drug overdose", I refuse to believe that understanding any of these headlines is better for me than chain-smoking

Congrats on 30 years of steamed hams, @thatbilloakley.bsky.social 🍔♨️

Congrats to Hungary for electing James Hetfield

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

Repbulican who lives on the coast and is proposing a tax break on boats: "Watch out for those coastal elites!"

The Cybertruck is actually really well designed in the sense that it it successfully accomplishes its intended goals, which is to disrupt whatever environment it's in and alert people that there's an asshole in their vicinity.

He misunderstood when trump told him you're like a son to me

i'm a millennial, what the fuck do you think

Some people are into Rome because they see it as the peak of western culture. I got into Rome because America is entering it's "Emperor makes his horse Consol" phase and it seemed relevant.

Folks our lead is narrowing get us back over the 50% mark to make sure we have this in the bag Moreover, ICE must be destroyed

That's right, we invented vaccines as part of our nefarious plan to make even more people autistic

Yeah, I don't think the fact that we created an automated plagiarism machine is really a technological advancement on par with going to the moon, mapping the human genome or creating the internet.

"I only watch Star Trek for the space battles" is a bizarre take given that most of the space battles in Star Trek are: *camera shakes* "Sir, shields down to 87%!" *camera shakes* "Shields down to 76%!" *camera shakes* "Shields down to 54%!" *camera shakes* "Sir, shields down to --"

and just think, if you had read all the history books i have and listened to all the military/history podcasts i have, you too could be stupid pissed off at the state of the world

Good to see Noam Chomsky still getting out at his age

Iran war giving strong Russo-Japanese war vibes

we have RETVRNed at levels previously thought to be impossible

I take back everything negative I ever said about pickleball

This really is an encapsulation of what being an American is: experiencing something needlessly cruel and profoundly stupid while propaganda you can’t turn off blares about how free and lucky you are

older i get the more obvious it is that even a modest sliver of power over another person completely shreds the human soul. not sure what's to be done about that "haha" 👍

“But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the Strait of Hormuz is open and people are having a wonderful time.”

Marxist-Lenininists will see the gestapo kidnapping and murdering people in the street and think the problem is too much democracy