I need to practice saying “I’m sorry I’m not paid enough to manage your emotions” in the mirror enough that I can say it in times of distress

To be seen is to be loved

I asked a bird watching group if they’d ever seen the “laughing jack*ss” and everyone said yeah they knew you.

A physically demanding job is just waking up on every work day saying “I cannot possibly do this again today” and then going in anyways

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

“Early to bed, early to rise” makes a man physically unable to go see the band he likes if they’re headlining a show

I was actually getting some work done this morning then I got a notification about a text on my computer and it was my mom saying something that upset me. So now I’m just sitting around sulking and too annoyed to do work. Anyways, text notifications on my computer are off now.

My friend once gave out Mason jars of beans and rice for mishloach manot and as I was going home I was hoping not to get robbed extra hard because being robbed? Humiliating. Being robbed and then they pull out a jar of beans? You’re never coming back from that.

the horrifying ordeal of coming up with an idea and thinking “some artist should make this” and then remembering you ARE an artist

woman 1: it was because he was annoying woman 2: it was because he was lying to me woman 3: it was because he was violent woman 4: I didn’t kill him woman 5: it was because they were cheating on me woman 6: it was because he was…Jewish?

the Chicago writers: alright boys we’ve got “pop,” “six,” “squish,” “uh-uh,” and “Cicero,” but I think we need one more…any thoughts? one writer in the back of the room: we could throw in a Jewish guy’s name??

Hello

Holy shit I am so fried. I don’t know how I made it through today. I definitely don’t know how I used to go on dates after my shifts

I beat last year’s inconvenient crush with one simple trick: turns out you need a minimum base level of self esteem to host a crush so when you drop below it the crush goes away! Hope this helps!!

Trying to avoid using Drano if possible so I bought a “natural” one. Looked at the back of the bottle and it says “if the drain gets slower that means it’s working!” and that just feels like a great con to me

me to me: I want to have more pictures of me smiling in 2026! waiter holding a Polaroid who just brought me ice cream with a candle: do you want me to take a picture? me: absolutely f*cking not

woman: oh I know dating can be so frustrating! the year I dated before I met my husband was the worst!! me: you only had to date for a year?

What if atheists just minded their own business? Why do they have to come in and rain on all our fun?? Oh right, because without the existence of religion to shit on they’d have no other purpose in life 🤷‍♀️

Happy belated birthday, @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social!!!! 🎉🎂🥳

Half my camera roll is pictures of pretty skies that I cannot show you because people are weird and would figure out where I live, but it makes me sad that I can’t share them :(

Texting all of my friends who didn’t text me yesterday with a screenshot of my dentist’s happy birthday message. No other words

My birthday wish is that my friend’s friend Ben who proudly told me he “hated Jewish women” gets a dry chunk in his next matzo ball

Did you see my username? I LITERALLY CALL MYSELF MAIMONIDES NUTZZ

At least rats can’t crawl on ceilings spider style?

What’s with all the Islamaphobia today? Are they bots? It’s never ok but it’s also not relevant

shout out to anyone else who shares a birthday with an ex, they should go back in time and tell their mom to hold them in one more day

This is why they deserve lentils when they ask for peas

Throwing an art show birthday party and many of my friends aren’t Jewish so I’m coming up with a document that provides context for each piece. Oh my is there a lot of context to provide!

Is it bad that I find it hard to make it to protests since I have no one to go with? Like that is fundamentally not something I want to do alone

Someone should write a Proverbs based poem except when it describes Lady Wisdom it turns into the Jabberwocky

Bro I pace while I’m on the phone so much that it’s 7 am and I’ve already hit 1,000 steps 😩

Asking for draino for my birthday.

G*d intended it for good, to bring about the current result - a day for Maimonides Nutz!

IT’S NUTZ DAYYYY 🥳🥳🥳

Buy nothing is wild because why would you ghost someone who is trying to give you free stuff

If you’re an artist and he doesn’t ask to see your art unmatch him and move on 💅

Before you turn to AI to make art for you, consider this lion:

So many of my prints have random dots because I accidentally touched the iPad screen while drawing something else. I need to make them sound intentional…. What’s the Jewish significance of random dots in the white space of your print? Wrong answers only

Saw a reel by my beautiful and successful friend where she was joking about eating a lot of grapes at midnight and I just want to say girl why are you appropriating my culture?

It’s so funny to be trying to form a coherent narrative of my work for this mini “show” It’s like political, Instagram, [MAN’S NAME], religious topics, [ANOTHER MAN’S NAME]/Trauma

The Sunday scaries is setting in.

the San Francisco experience of being !extremely anxious! when a bus driver goes hurtling up and down the steepest hills, but then annoyed when you get a driver who takes them slow

you could also just randomly spout some man’s name every time I talk about Hinge because at this point the chances are I met a guy with that name through the app and it went very bad

me: *is bored for one minute* me: maybe I should download Hinge again

I can’t go to Hebrew College because I would simply skip class every day to go to the ICA

HAHA JOKES ON YOU MR JOE!! I COOKED SOMETHING

my New Year’s resolution is 9”x9” and 350 ppi instead of 300

A hearty resounding “thank you” to everyone who has ever told me what my art means to them, or told me a meme made them smile. Or even enjoyed my art or memes from afar…maybe DM’ed one to a friend. Y’all have consistently made it difficult for me to hate myself. And I’m grateful for that 💛

Happy race horse 1 Elul!!

girl on threads: what’s my sexuality if I’m repulsed by everyone but still feel alone? me: