I can’t get over what a good screen name this is and for such a niche crowd. Like the venn diagram for it is wild. Obsessed.

getting into that conversation without at least OFFERING some lentil stew is a huge red flag

Yes I did just invent the world “drashically”

some say Esau was evil I think he was just hangry??

Amazing

You know I had to do it to em

Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy

OMG (h/t @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social).

I’m tired of all of these companies telling me to buy things. Why don’t they try telling me to reach out to someone I love for once? Can they offer me a promotion on my heart??

me: [blissfully thinking nothing] my phone: remember your dog who DIED???

If anyone is keeping count, yesterday I flipped off TWO men who were calling to me from their car. I am definitely going to get myself harmed, but I can’t help it

אמת

Drop something BLACK & WHITE

the sky was Gay this morning (double rainbow over the hill)

Drop something BLACK & WHITE

[to the tune of Old MacDonald] 🎶 Rav Hanina had some goats…with bears between their horns 🎶

Is this the earliest recorded usage of "While you were out partying, I was studying the blade"?

Devastating

me: *is happy about something* me: welp! guess it’s time to call my doctor…

Jewish stories are like: one time an OLD MAN walked into a shul and he had a GLASS EYE and everyone threw BANANA PEELS at him but GUESS WHAT? That man was actually ELIJAH THE PROPHET

Today I already: Accidentally left for work 30 minutes early Almost got hit by a car Flipped off a man who was beckoning to me from his truck

“Joy is any feeling fully felt” - Rabbi Alan Lew

Say what you will about social media, but there was no other point in history where you got to read thousands of people trying to explain Catholicism directly to the Pope

NGL the Bible Gateway translation of Lamentations goes harrrd

I still have quite a few and I don't want to hold on to them!!

Random rant: I don't really care that much that chocolate hummus exists. Sure it's not good but why waste my energy being angry about it? The people who buy it will be punished by eating it and the people who make it will be judged in the next life when they face God

Found a two year old Reddit thread where someone found this design in a thrift store, and someone commented that it looks like a certain…reproductive bodily excretion Now I’m always open to criticism, but I think that if your **** looks like this, you need to see a doctor immediately

Everything is thing.

If you are dissatisfied with the Chanukah decorations available...you could always decorate by taking a sledgehammer and just going to town on your walls until the place is totally wrecked and then rebuilding it in 8 days Kind of like reverse Sukkot.

But seriously, Unwritten and Psalm 118 compliment each other nicely

What secular song has become a part of your personal form of worship or understanding of your own spirituality? (Feel free to share lyrics or reasons too!)

spoke with the executive director of my local food bank today and got this really incredible line: "if you donate 1 can of green beans, we can give away 1 can of green beans. but if you donate a dollar, we can give away 6 cans of green beans"

Reposting the same content once: lazy. Reposting it repeatedly: a heartfelt paean to the cyclical nature of Jewish ritual life.

No no no it’s good that I’m reposting all my hits from Tw*tter If I don’t then Elon Musk wins

Rabban Gamaliel: I'm looking for a rabbi who disagrees with me Rabbi Yehoshua: done Rabban Gamaliel: great I also need a blacksmith Rabbi Yehoshua: dude you're not gonna believe this

What I love, and do not love, about Pirkei Avot in one succinct skeet. (Also, Kohelet was right, there really is nothing new under the sun.)

Sages: treat everyone with hospitality! me: YES! Sages: treat the poor like members of your family! me: YESS! Sages: and don't talk to women! me: Y-wait what? Sages: Women are EVIL! Sages: Women DISTRACT YOU FROM TORAH Sages: Sages: I am so lonely

Now I can post this on time!! 😅

One time I read a book by a Christian Theologist that claimed “Jews don’t know the real meaning of Passover” The hell I don’t! Obviously the real meaning of Passover is vacuuming the ceiling just in case a bread particle got up there

Kale has three stages: young plant, good to eat, your neighbors are calling 911 because they think they smell a dead body

If your religious landscape casts no shadows, then you just haven’t shaded it yet.

Fish fear me and men don’t know what to do with me

Yesterday a woman came up to the register with a price tag where she had clearly crossed off the price and put the price she wanted to pay. I almost sold it to her just because of the boldness of the move.

I think I missed this! But what a great contribution to frog-drash 🐸 I am pleased to have found the works of @museum.of.emilyk.art

I’m sorry…but what the h*ck is a “boy leaning” book??

Maimonides Nutz is another great Jewish artist who puts out subversive work that presents Torah in interesting ways. Give her a follow and buy her work, or send her a tip.