Who told the bots I speak Spanish? (I do not)

Anytime some rich Silicon Valley dickhead rattles off their AI-poisoned-brained opinion on humanity from the safe space of their high castle, it makes you wonder what would happen if they spouted such garbage within earshot of, like, any public space or neighborhood bar. This scene comes to mind.

I feel like a few turkey ties would fix me

Scoot Henderson has never fouled anyone in his life

Plenty of time in this game

Wemby needs a restraining order against these announcers. Stalking behavior.

Well, after pushing Jerami down Victor Wembanyama is officially my enemy

It's gonna be awkward when the Spurs get to Portland for game 3 to find the court got hocked and they're playing on dirt

OH SO NOW YOU ALL LOVE SCOOT? GOOD, BECAUSE SCOOT IS GREAT.

I do not care for Manscaped's commercials

EIDIAGSTBASGWTC

Scoot strips Wemby and goes coast to coast for a layup. Consider the jury on who should have gone #1 officially "still out." Quick 8-0 run for the Blazers out of the half to cut the deficit to 2 and Spurs call timeout.

Even if dundon is a giant shit the blazers are still gonna win the championship

No one this cheap should own an NBA team.

In Portland’s only win over San Antonio this season, Caleb Love had 16 points and 5 rebounds. He was one of the reasons they made it here. Absolutely trash decision.

Just blocked a guy who talked shit about Jerami. I'm going for the leader in blocks for this game.

Which one of these spurs is the fuckin nerd who ruined strip club might for an entirely different team?

Reggie miller stfu

Jerami Grant pick out matching suits for our team

If these announcers talk shit about Scoot vs Wemby I will fucking light them on fire

The Spurs floor is giving me a flashback to 1991

In non basketball news I'm 100% certain that since I turned off the ai on my phone my talk to text is conspiring against me

I'm in line at the dispensary because I planned poorly and I guess no other stoners watch basketball

Damn Agent Doggett coming for me

Just trying to relax on the lord's day after doing an incredible amount of manual labor all weekend but this is what I get

Me @ Tom Dundon

Until game time I'm gonna work out my feelings by committing genocide in Civ 7

I'm imagining this as an ongoing class/gathering/support group situation. Maybe starting up sometime this summer? That'll give people a few months to finish projects in time for next season.

In uplifting news, my Instagram algorithm is showing me a ton of clips of Larry Bird being a straight up motherfucking psycho and that is really cheering me up

Who would be interested in attending a free "make your own Blazers merch" party? You don't even have to know how to do any arts and crafts or sewing or anything, I'll teach you.

Me at the slightest hint of adversity:

I feel like this entire thing is a set up to move the Blazers. We either suck it up and he makes money off of us as is, or we hold out, don't go to games, don't buy merch, and then he says he's "forced" to move the team. The only real solution here is to try to manifest his demise somehow.

I've been out of bed 50 minutes and while this isn't a record, I haven't felt this absolutely hopeless about literally everything in a while

lol

I wish Paul Allen's karmic guilt didn't catch up with him in the end so Jody didn't have to sell the team to these assholes

Es pinche bueno

I was too tired to cook and when I saw a place called "pinches burros" you know I had to order

Look now because this is the nicest this yard will ever look

Age is just a number, and that number determines how long you have left to live and your relative worth to society.

Giving out something but nice soft T-shirts could never backfire (see Bill Walton beanie buddy night) youtu.be/pAKVJIZHLdo?...

Free laser pointer night is gonna be wild

If you wear a "RIP CITY RUNS CHEAP" shirt on Sunday I will kiss you full on the mouth

You know the "no free T-shirt" thing is simply because we made it to the playoffs in spite of the NBA and they didn't order them in time

Oh man nooo RFK jr that was actually Kid Rock and he’s technically alive? But enjoy his dick.