I love TV so much because I’m watching “Paradise” and a Secret Service agent dislocated his knee and made it to the medic who SEDATED HIM to relocate it and HAHAHAHAHAHA NOPE. I have fuckass knees that dislocate as a hobby and let me tell you a few things:

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry about cheating on your girlfriend and you make the Olympics awkward for everyone on the planet.

okay, this is funny, though

I don’t like to generalize and certainly I know many man NOT like this. But I think a real problem with the way men are socialized is it seems to make a lot of them just not care about people. Fundamentally uninterested and ready to trade immediately for any kind of robot available.

I AM SO READY variety.com/2026/tv/news...

Oh some brave YouTuber PLEASE review this.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people local newspaper reporters are rarified elites instead of ink-stained wretches driving their Honda Civic to a crime scene so you know don’t have to rely on Nextdoor and the police press release.

tmw you call in sick so you can go to the game but then your boss spots you on the jumbotron and the phone starts ringing except you're the boss

being at the age where everyone you know is having children

New Jersey has proposed the F.U.C.K.I.C.E Act. www.nytimes.com/2026/02/21/n...

The Pope having to ask priests not to use AI to talk about God is pretty chilling even though I haven’t been a practicing Catholic in years.

"Community Hero Rewarded With Free Vacation"

Good.

I keep getting followed on all my socials by accounts that I’m 99% certain are AI, and I don’t understand what the point of that is.

still unclear to me how the species made it this far

I still don't understand how this isn't the headline everywhere. If Biden or Obama said the words, "I'm allowed to destroy the country" Fox News would be giving tips on where to buy pitchforks and torches.

Gosh, I hope so.

Donald Trump illegally stole $1700 from you is a gift midterm message.

Fun facts nobody tells you about breast cancer: If you get a double mastectomy (or even a single, I suppose) with implant reconstruction… Your breasts will often feel cold to the touch. The silicone doesn’t conduct heat and there’s only blood flow around, not through. So. Chilled breasts.

So SCOTUS, who we already know is run by a majority of compromised plants at this point, finally found its line with Cankles Caligula. And he basically said “who cares.” I bet Jeffries and Schumer are writing SUCH strongly-worded press releases right now!

absolute chef's kiss from C-SPAN producers who pull up a graphic showing the Dow below 50,000 seconds after Trump brags about the Dow hitting 50,000

No thanks.

I love her energy. And her hair.

Had something similar once that was sculpted ice cream covered in cocoa powder with icing “sour cream” and sprinkle “chives.”

…did he just say his own catch phrase is mostly liked by stupid people?

Moon and Mercury setting next to the Griffith Observatory just moments ago. Found a good spot to take photos. #Photography #Astrophotography

Getting all the way to work and realizing you forgot your emotional support water

2026 basically

That weird phase of a migraine where like MAYYYYYYYBEEEE it’s gone, but you still feel off in a way you can’t quite place, and it could come back any second, so you just chug water and keep the lights low and hope for the best…

Complaining that following the Constitution will stop you from doing the thing you want to do is... an admission that what you want to do is unconstitutional. You swore an oath to defend the Constitution. You are violating that oath, Rep. Alford. Time to go home and let someone else do the job.

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

“You want ICE agents to have to identify themselves before they try to kidnap or kill you, but you don’t want to have to present a birth certificate to be able to vote” I mean… yes

I’m gonna vote for whoever the Dem presidential nominee is in the general election but it would be cool if whoever it is doesn’t suck.

If you are wondering what words the all-male Congress found so "blasphemous" that they felt compelled to literally scrape them off the monument, they were: ''Woman, first denied a soul, then called mindless, now arisen, declared herself an entity to be reckoned.''

I will crawl through broken glass to vote against a a Republican bc my life depends on it.

(5/11) Walmart, Whole Foods, and Kohls are switching to electronic shelf labels that can display dynamic prices. Kroger deployed them with Microsoft AI—a setup a 2024 Senate inquiry warned could enable “surge pricing” via facial recognition. (Kroger claims it will only lower prices.)

imagine being a beautiful cow and ending up as a boxy, three-button USA flag sport coat with a collar gap and the bottom-most button fastened

Nahhhhhh I saw the video. Barry got FIDGETY. He knows something.

Me, who has never successfully stayed upright in ice skates for more than two seconds: “I’m sorry this duo is skating to BOLERO? That’s fucking bold. Hope they can pull it off.”

I’m on Snapchat because my nieces told me to be and it’s phone-number based. Which means it will recommend friends to you based on the contacts in your phone. Which means it will recommend dead people whose numbers you haven’t deleted because someone new has their phone number.

Oh good, this worked out great for Nicole Brown’s family.

The Etsy witches are so good that apparently Etsy has banned selling spells now.

There will be no cleaning up this president’s legacy.

Someone has sure already made this observation but the fact they can convert all those empty warehouses into prison camps means they could have converted them into housing, community centers, job training centers or, hell, libraries or schools all along. It’s always a matter of will not resources.

"When Musk & Hegseth argue that a racially diverse nation is inherently weak, they're not returning us to some long-established American tradition from which we've recently strayed. They are, instead, parroting the exact same propaganda that Nazi Germany promoted against America during WW II."

It’s kind of hilarious that he’s adding the Scots and the Irish since historically the English have treated the Scots and Irish as subhuman.

This rules. I love how delighted they all look!

There’s a woman on this season of Love Is Blind who has been very open about the fact that she’s not sure if she wants to have kids. When she has told the men this, every single one said the same thing: “I think you’d be a great mom.” She never ONCE said she thought otherwise.

Repeat after me: An executive order is not a royal edict; it is not law. It is a direction to the executive branch as to how to carry out the law. Also: Key parts of Trump's last EO on elections have been stopped by federal courts, ruling that the President has no role to play in federal elections