Not going to read this because the correct answer is “gobs of cash.” Everything else is fluff

finally some good news

Any lawyers want to explain to me why when there’s two witnesses and one of them has complicated testimony that took six hours and the other would only be on the stand for ten minutes you would not only put the complicated one on first but tell them both to get there at the same time?

We must all rally behind America’s Team: the Toronto Blue Jays

Makes me incredibly sad to have to root against Los Angeles but fuck the Dodgers for their bigotry and for their fascist bootlicking as their city was being torn apart. Go Jays.

i like it when baseball guys hug each other and jump up and down

Karma bites hard, Seattle fans that booed Georgie lmao

An exciting moment for all Kareners fans. They now get to speak to your supervisor.

We salute Astros sleeper agent George Springer on a job well done

In Trump’s America, Canada wins the American League

This dude’s team harbors Mookie Betts

I KNEW GEORGE WOULD SAVE US

SPRINGER DINGER!!!!!! 🛎️ 💥 🛎️ 💥 I still love my beautiful boy

I cussed really loud when Varsho hit that and squealed embarrassingly when it got out of the infield

Stop your doomscrolling and look at my dog! Flannery loves you and wants you to throw her football for her

No Kings includes DraftKings

I don't need to reevaluate my religion, they need to reevaluate theirs. They all worship Trump, not God and not Jesus. They've forgotten what Jesus preached, who his friends were, and what he stood for.

Every round of trashcans discourse is a boring rehash, so I’ll also say the same thing I always say: If you’re stupid enough to lie to all of us that you would stop being a fan of your team if they got caught cheating at baseball, I instantly know you can’t be trusted to sit right on a toilet seat.

If ever an animal was meant to say "It's a living"

Every confederate monument should be torn down and replaced with a colossal statue of Brown

The bishop of Rome being a baseball fan is kind of fun, but him being a White Sox fan is proof that papal infallibility is a false doctrine

Two things. 1. Middle Tennessee State did not win the 2001 Sun Belt Conference football championship. 2. In 1995 Joey Rinker smeared ketchup on my pants as we walked past each other in between classes. Fuck that guy.

sorry to be a basic millennial but cmon

God's judgment on our nation might just come in the form of the World Series champions Toronto Blue Jays

🫡

SPRINGER DINGER!!!!!

This Vladimir Guerrero father/son feature on the #MLB pregame is making it sound like Vladdy Sr died. I had to double check to make sure

From All Saints Episcopal Church in San Francisco 🕯

And in extremely North Texas fashion, the team completely crapped the bed in a game that matters

DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE MEAN GREEN

I will hate South Florida forever for that one

Am ded

I don’t think Drew Mestemaker actually knows how to slide #GMG

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking? Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOORTH!!!!!! 🦅 #GMG

Tell that to my stomach acid 🦅 #GMG

That's a second USF turnover recovered by the Mean Green.

I would like to start the drumbeat for promoting Skyler Cassity from DC to head coach at North Texas after Morris gets poached by a power conference school 🦅 #GMG

It’s beautiful 🦅

Canada should get it this year. America doesn't deserve the big baseball trophy

I've never seen somebody both completely get and miss the point. That's impressive

If I were JD Vance I would simply fear God and repent and become a desert hermit

A worthy project might be to compile every biblical admonition to welcome the stranger and just continuously read them out with a bullhorn in front of ICE facilities ⚓️

There is really nothing quite like turning a corner in a museum and suddenly being face to midsection to a 9 foot tall Giacometti statue

People are being robbed. The answer to that is not shame or anger. The answer is empathy and compassion.

Oof

Everyone STOP what you are doing RIGHT NOW Look at them.

The funniest thing about this is how legit terrified ICE looks.