big fan of whatever intern snuck a Sankara quote into this speech

i meant in 7 sorry

it's okay because birds in 5 🙏

lmao

Soup of the day: Chili cheese dog

why are there people running and hooting and hollering at 10 am go to bed freaks

petitioning the Cubs to hold a parade for every wrigleyville service employee that lasted opening day to tonight our joints are destroyed but a float might be nice

kokomelon would like to show you his duck he is very proud of it

they're going to be so annoying about this

blue jays have eliminated the great satan

he's going to kill himself when the reviews come in

birds alive sorry I don't have a blue jays meme

i like the lore that he's Woody because he really loves toy story

watching football and having a freaking beer ‼️

what if a whale could smoke cigarettes laugh out loud

dogs should be able to get drunk and smoke cigarettes that would be cool just a little thought i had

guys im watching house again he has a gun

it's probably worth remembering that so much online discourse is just that - very very few people in real life will have any clue what you're talking about, even fewer will care

Bsky dev: I think we should dig up dead people, put them in a cannon and shoot them at the moon Bsky: that's stupid Bsky devs: humanity cannot long sustain this abject cruelty, this debasement of communication, civilization itself will perish if you don't stop making fun of me

"heh you proved my point and walked into my intricately constructed web" I say painting joker makeup on myself, not wondering why nobody wants to hang out with me

Works for a company that spends a large portion of its resources banning starving families and children undergoing a 24 month siege and bombardment when they ask for help but sure tell me your thoughts on eugenics for MacBook pros

It’s bigotry to hate those inflatable flappy arm guys from outside car dealerships

sorry i was logged out for a few days so i missed the newest discourse and its possibly the dumbest one to date

imagine if instead of saying “i threw out the leftovers” i replaced leftovers with “living babies”, not so innocent now is it???

(whatever that means) has given me terminal brain damage im apologizing to my microwave im kissing the air fryer we're in love

when you yell at me this is who you’re yelling at

well at least the blue jays won ive decided canada winning baseball would be the funniest and best outcome so it should happen

i know my imaginary friend is stealing your job and making life unbearable but you were slightly rude, which is worse

so is the situation that chicago is going to be abjectly terrorized for the foreseeable future and no one including the governor is going to do anything? and every national dem is just going to keep scolding protesters and call the whole thing a distraction? am i getting that right? 👍

horns not doing much, understandable i also don't work today

hey check this out thanks

speak for yourself dipshit i only work so i can go home and roll around in mud

had anybody let the cubs know they're playing today cause

WPBL is asking for host cities and they better choose Houston and they better be called the Lunas so i can make cool posts about moonshots

an umpire made a shitty call and now i have to work forever thanks dipshit

nothing happened on TV today because I refused to watch

whatever Illness ™️ is going around is starting to hit me it's too early to be yelled at over burgers

im certain they do this to torture me specifically #astros

unfortunately have to congratulate #mariners fans, as much as it pains me see y'all next year

i am no longer allowed to eat my midnight peanuts in peace because I gave them exactly one once

i should know better than to watch this shit what was that #Astros

i swear im having deja vu

guys can i start a gfm just so I don't have to work again at just a paltry $10 a person a month I could sit here and Become Worse

do you think the old folks home knows she's missing 💔

deciding between sleep, another episode of house, and reading the Wikipedia article for the history of cheese

eating potatoes 👍

bros ...

at least i will win Mario party I say copingly

catching up on jeopardy and my boy Paolo lost is there now joy left