Returning Jesus Christ Downed By U.S. Missile Defense 30,000 Feet Before Making Landfall

You know what I really want to know about Tylenol? If taking it can lead to releasing the Epstein files.

Me on the way to the rapture

fun to watch RFK in these press conferences and see that he is even more deranged than the president

I want these

Giancarlo Stanton swats career home run No. 450 and gives the @Yankees an early lead 👏

To anyone in NYC looking to get a COVID Booster: if your BMI is high, you're covered under "pre-existing conditions." Currently waiting for my Pfizer Booster, and a Flu Shot. Don't let the dismantling of our protections stop your being protected. There's also a form for anyone without a condition.

This is what it looks like when ICE violates our First Amendment rights.

WGA Statement on ABC’s Decision to Pull Jimmy Kimmel Live!

thinking back on this..

The union representing the musicians from Jimmy Kimmel’s band releases a statement calling the FCC’s pressure on Disney “state censorship.”

Illinois State Senator Karina Villa sprang into action to protect her community from ICE raids, alerting neighbors to their rights and chasing off masked agents. This is how you stand up to authoritarianism. We should all be inspired by Sen. Villa's courage.

Today, the UN officially designated Israel’s assault on Gaza as a genocide. As a party to the Genocide Convention, the U.S. has a legal obligation to obey our own laws, stop weapons sales to Israel, and demand a permanent ceasefire. End the genocide. Ceasefire now.

If this became a weekly series, it would run longer than The Simpsons.

my favorite robert redford story is that mike nichols considered him for dustin hoffman's part in THE GRADUATE. during their conversation nichols asked redford something like, "have you ever struck out with a girl?" and redford's response was basically, "i don't understand the question"

Hiding the truth.

> @cnbc.com 🇬🇧

Every morning.

Literally 24 hrs later they shifted to thoughts and prayers after screaming for blood the previous day.

Okay, I finally got physical copies of the first two issues of CHEETAH AND CHESHIRE ROB THE JUSTICE LEAGUE. I don't get why more people aren't talking about this excellent book. It's two creative titans returning to DC, @gregrucka.com and @nicolascottart.bsky.social at the top of their game. 1/

#TheLongWalk is The Outsiders meets 1984 meets The Hunger Games. What a movie and what an adaptation, although you'll definitely need a stiff drink after watching it.

the one trick mods don’t want you to know

Bsky lately

Pivoted so hard they affected the earth's rotation

Aaron Judge's 362nd HR is 4th all-time in @Yankees history! He trails only Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle and Lou Gehrig.

Successfully booed the Orange Monster each and every time they showed him on the screen tonight at Yankees Stadium. Made sure to throw a #TransRightsAreHumanRights in there while I was at it. And many a middle finger was used along with said boos. He ruins everything.

I am very much not a Yankees fan. But whoever just played the strikeout stinger during Trump’s acknowledgment is my hero

“awful people don’t deserve to be killed, but they don’t deserve to be praised, either” is apparently a thought too complex for the pundit mind

We're all angry, both sides, one of the few times I'll use that term ever in life. I hate beyond hate that the extremists and gunmen are now going to be considered the spokespeople for US society in general, when they most definitely aren't, and shouldn't. I fucking hate all of this.

Elizabeth Warren on people who say Dems needs to tone down their rhetoric: "Oh, please. Why don't you start with the president of the United States? And every ugly meme he's posted and every ugly word."

Charlie Kirk wasn't killed by political violence. Charlie Kirk was killed by *gun* violence.

Grok says that videos of Charlie Kirk being shot are memes and that he's actually fine

Do these idiots even realize that shooting Charlie Kirk makes you a worse person than Charlie Kirk?

It is incredibly simple to acknowledge that violence in any form is awful and erodes society.

So my Pixel 6 was charging off of a MTA bus port, and I was attempting to uninstall an app. That was hanging, so I went to restart the phone. The phone bricked. On my way to see #RiloKiley for the first time in seventeen years, and you can only enter with a digital ticket.

WARNER: Do you accept the fact that 1 million Americans died from covid? RFK Jr: I don't know how many died W: You're the secretary of health and human services. You don't have any idea how many Americans died from covid? RFK Jr: I don't think anybody knows that W: How can you be that ignorant?

My entire feed rn is Senator: Do you think heart failure causes death RFK: Senator, medicine doesn't work, we all need to be drinking raccoon blood

Next they'll be rewriting textbooks to say Japanese American internment camps were delightful summer resorts.

I enjoyed this. And what an infectious laugh. ❤️ "Reporter left speechless after witnessing Japan's new $70 million Maglev train in action at 310 mph"

Dabe took this picture at #PAXWest and I think it deserves a Pulitzer

Hey @imagecomics.com creators—looks like the accounting @ email address got hacked. DO NOT click the link you got sent this morning by Sue Korpela (it goes to a Russian site) and don’t reply. Hopefully as soon as the west coast wakes up this’ll be sorted out Please RT, comics folks

I watched the first three episodes of the new animated comedy Long Story Short tonight on Netflix and I think it's both my favorite new show and favorite new Jewish thing of 2025.

"Long Story Short" is now out on Netflix! I'm really proud of it! Thank you for watching. : ) www.netflix.com/title/81686879

Dear Disney. In Moana, we establish the sea is sentient. In Frozen, the sea kills Elsa's parents. ELSA VS MOANA is a revenge thriller where, etc, etc.

Here, fixed it.

Hey @thatbilloakley.com they focus on the Pokémon ad in this video, but I'm sure you recognize what else was once advertised here! #blingblong #missionhill

This week's episode is now available, and recorded live and in-person! No Zoom! Actually in the same room as each other! Featuring @iamscifi.bsky.social and @kossinab.bsky.social, thoughts on #TheFantasticFourFirstSteps, recent reads like #SomethingIsKillingTheChildren, #OneWorldUnderDoom and more!

Subway sandwich guy has been released on his own recognizance. His attorney argued the felony charge was excessive, and the judge agreed. Oh, and he’s a USAF veteran. www.wusa9.com/article/news...

Happy #Superman is available digitally and immediately added to a bunch of Plex servers Day!