That Wes Streeting leadership bid in full:

I think they prefer you to call it an "all-women shortlist."

Proud parent post: the younger kid has just won a scholarship to help support them on the bar training course commencing in autumn. Next step towards becoming a barrister! (Very smart, takes after their mum.)

I've got two pianos, four grand pianos, and eight great grand pianos.

Sidled up to a busker who'd just murdered a Franz Ferdinand song yesterday and whispered "this is exactly how the First World War started".

It's time for the sinister old dollmaker who created Wes Streeting to tell him he'll never be a real boy.

Wes Streeting would be the final nail in Labour's coffin. More neoliberalism, more privatisation, more austerity, more grovelling to economic power, when we desperately want change.

We lost Douglas Adams 25 years ago today. This has made a lot of people very sad and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

#AgeingGoths The 75th Birthday Party

#AgeingGoths Great Auntie Joy Division #NotStrictlyAGothBand

#AgeingGoths Siouxsie and the Can’t Sees (Without My Specs)

#AgeingGoths The Grandmas of Mercy

#AgeingGoths (I Remember When This Was All) Fields of the Nephilim

That moment you suddenly have an amazing idea about cabbage.

You're probably wondering just how metric my socket set is

LIFE RULES: Insulate your house with books to ward off evil Oppose the zombie AI apocalypse Never click on a link to the Daily Mail Use double the recommended amount of garlic Always stop to say hi to sheep And to horses too (but in a fake posh voice) I think that's more or less everything covered?

Depeche Mode never have a fondue on the tour bus, because they prefer their own, personal cheeses.

Make Hate Weird Again.

JOHN FOGERTY: I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain JAMES TAYLOR: okay, you’re not gonna fucking believe this

Seeing as it’s bank holiday and people are talking about cruises, it’s time for my anecdote: Bloke in work said he was going on a cruise and I said, “Where to?” and he said, “Santander,” and I said, “So, it’s a bank holiday then?” and he didn’t laugh. I’ll nurse that grudge to my grave.

From Private Eye (I may have assisted Bill Cashgrab in writing this)

I’ve just noticed something. If you say today’s date with a slight lisp it sounds a bit like part of a famous quote from a much loved space franchise. So anyway, live long and prothper.

One political leader made hissing noises behind his Jewish classmates; another is actually Jewish. Guess who our billionaire owned press accuses of anti-Semitism? (Hint: it's the one who wants wealth taxes.)

The eerie sensation of having a Labour government and feeling it's exactly the same as the Tory government you're already lived through is called Déjà Screwed.

Starting to smell the Gavin through the open window.

Today‘s CD spin… what a voice!

swear to god nothing has radicalized like me like watching rich men burn our planet, dry up our freshwater and poison our kids to invent the world’s most powerful technology — a robot chick who laughs at all their jokes

me when i get shot

Dusty right now on BBC4 singing ‘Heatwave’ - what a voice!

Being against Jewish people being stabbed in the street & being against Gazan children being shot in the head are not two contradicting positions - in fact, they come from the same love of humanity - something our government and press refuse to understand - their desire to divide is disgusting

Happy BH weekend!

Switch it off. Switch it all off. Go outside and breathe. Look at the sky. Touch a tree. Adopt a dog.

Quote with your vibe if you were a vampire…

Who you gonna call?

Another day on the road. People can’t effing drive, they can’t effing park and they’re all effing stupid…

Me not able to relax as a plumber who said he would be here at 5pm still isn’t here at 6pm.

Just binned off Amazon/Audible and signed up…

I actually saw a "serving suggestion" on a bag of shredded lettuce yesterday. And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Off to The Swan in Stratford-upon-Avon tonight to see Mark Gatiss in The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui. First of 3 trips to the RSC this year! Looking forward to it.

I remain, Sir, Ever yours,

Sure, happy birthday to Shakespeare, but it's a fact that he stole most of his plots. Like, one play is a total ripoff of West Side Story, but set in the olden days.

Gosford Park (2001) Gosford World (2015) Gosford World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

my latest books cartoon for @theguardian.com

Some more Music/Food mash ups for b3ta

I got chiles They’re multiplying

As a music snob, I find it quite reassuring that #Bowie isn’t regarded as a ‘top tier’ act in terms of sales. He‘ll always be a top tier *artist* though. I suspect he’d regard that as job done. #BowieForever

New year, new you? That’s clearly not happening, is it. Here, have a donut. See you in the pub at lunchtime.

Thinking about this post everyday now.

I’ll have a go... Ten Fave Guitarists in no especial order: Steve Cropper Richard Thompson Bernard Butler Johnny Marr Prince (honourable mention for Wendy Melvoin) Mick Ronson Joey Santiago Ronnie Wood Bert Jansch Paul, John & George (can’t separate them…)

To prevent red wine from permanently staining a white carpet take all your red wine outside and drink it in the garden. Smoke a cigarette while you're out there or maybe some weed. Nice moon up there tonight. Enjoy the weekend. Nobody really knows what happens next.