I wish I could get vacations doing dumb shit like this. You do not represent *me* Dame Cynthia Alexandria Pratt Governor General of the Bahamas

Tonight maybe? 🤞 🤞 🤞

Inshallah may we live to see it

school being canceled because the president sent armed thugs to harass and imprison the populace for voting against him should be the biggest domestic scandal in american history

Comments section at Pitchfork? As if things weren't bad enough

im actually sympathetic to the "vote 4 lesser of 2 evils" argument, from a practical harm-reduction POV. i'm not convinced accelerationism or "heightening the contradictions" can work in practice. but I dont think lesser evil shit works if the lesser evil is indistinguishable from the big one

Oh my God a literal wallet inspector

what a week already, eh? at least Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil is tomorrow

A pet cow named Veronika can scratch her back with a broom, the first scientifically documented case of tool use in cows. “Perhaps the absurd thing was not the absurdity of a cow using tools," one researcher said, "but the absurdity of us never thinking that a cow might be intelligent.”

i'm not "standing weird" i'm in an

replace rfk jr with this guy

Me, remembering a joke from The Simpsons.

The Little Engine That Cucks

SERIOUSLY WHAT

WHAT

McVay certainly looks excited about this game

Fight Club is like this too. It hits less hard when you realize Tyler Durden is living the dream and just needs to get a damn hobby

Orbitz (1996-1998): A line of clear, non-carbonated beverages, filled with dozens of tiny, suspended balls of what was essentially gelatin. Came in flavors such as Raspberry Citrus, Blueberry Melon Strawberry, Pineapple-Banana-Cherry- Coconut, Vanilla Orange, Black Currant Berry, and Chocolate

Brutal

What a cute time to hook and ladder

i'm on the senate floor, jar jar binks is saying they'll agree to increase clone production in return for better training and camera impants. masterful gambit from the Naboo delegate.

Louvre worthy

Please, Mr. Beast is my father. Call me Mark Of The.

How fun is it that we don't have the Chiefs in the playoffs? My team blows and is run by morons, but at least all the teams left are fun (Texans being the very gross exception here)

"I found 300 photos where you say you 'Want to die' related to Tottenham Hotspur, and every Sunday for 15 years you have 'Hoped that bitch falls out of the skybox and drags his idiot son with him' with regards to the Dallas Cowboys"

Very insightful Gemini, thank you

I missed one question on the NYT news quiz and I'm particularly embarrassed I didn't know this one.

me to the Last Jedi haters

I'm sure, I mean it didn't require watching 50 hours of a cartoon to understand a couple of winks during a boring ass story.

11.23.63, but it's 3.30.81 with the opposite goal.

I will never vote for Gavin Newsom in any election ever. Eat shit, Blue MAGA.

Abolish ICE. There is no other position

@democrats.org stop talking about training ICE. Nobody needs ICE, they aren't good people who need more training. Fuck your garbage ass consultants who keep talking you into this

ICE agents getting caught in the giant St. Louis Provel Pits

"We asked Copilot"

Got my photo taken earlier standing on patrol outside of my kid’s preschool in a high-viz vest. ICE seems like they are trying to collect the photo of every person in the Twin Cities who they feel is doing anything to stand up to them. Pretty frustrated that my hair looked like shit.

Post a game you remember playing that nobody else remembers.

Talmage’s entire school district, one of the biggest in the state, is now offering hybrid learning specifically because unaccountable federal government paramilitaries have made it so difficult for nonwhite children and their families to leave their homes.

ICE: who fuckin needs em

I asked 1 million people in my mind just now if they would vote for shaquille o'neal instead of any of these clowns and they all said yeah sure why not

Third Way is the Bob Nightengale of politics. If they say something is politically lethal, you should absolutely believe the opposite.

remember when Scottie Scheffler got arrested in Louisville before the PGA Championship for an incident that was strikingly similar to Renee Good and yet everyone was pretty much in agreement that the cop was an overzealous baby?

A good rule of thumb: If Bill Ackman wants something, it's not going to help you AT ALL

A good rule of thumb: If Bill Ackman wants something, it's not going to help you AT ALL

@cbsnews.com.web.brid.gy god you guys went to fucking shit real fast. Tell your big boss her ideas are stupid as shit

The day I dread every January has finally come. Please consider giving some #mutualaid as I have throughout the year every year since I joined BlueSky. At least right now it's about $800 cheaper than last time. Ugh. cash.app/$Captainmurp...

Joe Buck sure sounds like he's promoting a Pixar film called Poppers

going as the emoji sheriff for halloween

GenX's parents didn't love them and they drank from the lead hose. Maybe the parents had it right, we never question if the entire generation had bad vibes.