Apparently the serving size for chips is 10 chips Listen, I eat 10 chips while deciding if I even want chips

I've just realised: what if Mo Salah's Sideshow Bob hairstyle was the source of all his power? 🤔 #LFC #mosalah

We all see the world differently...

Daniel LaRusso gets a job removing bikini lines. WAX ON. WAX OFF.

(Me) Jesus, could I have your apartment for the next 3 days? After all, you won't be needing it! #GoodFriday

Damn! I lost a lot of money on that bet. I felt certain this was the opposition's year.

van Gogh 👍

Sometimes life feels too shitty, then I check Bluesky and remember it’s universal

Remember when I said it could get worse? Yeah, I undersold it

Crazy

Money Making Idea #163 A Speak-Your-Weight toilet seat.

There's a rule in television: Never go back. It doesn't works. I just watched Peaky Blinders: The Immortal Man. It was slow-paced tedium & bore little to no resemblance to the brilliant tv show. Never go back. It doesn't work 😔

My wife and I have decided that we don't want to have kids. We're going to tell them tonight at supper.

It's just been confirmed - Chuck Norris has been appointed Head of Security in heaven

I was in the hospital this morning & somebody had written this up on the notice board. Yup, just about sums it up!

There’s something in the eire today.

I’ll start going to church when the ushers walk down the aisle with a Bloody Mary cart.

Pause for a moment to think of all the pets affected by this hideous war: those killed in the blasts, and those abandoned by people fleeing the region.

found a time machine but it requires size A batteries

INVENTOR OF TOUCH-SENSITIVE CONTROLS: Nobody wants our technology because it's very hit and miss, if it'll work. EVERY MICROWAVE MANUFACTURER IN THE WORLD: We'll take it 👍

things can’t be this evil and this stupid at the same time

Do you think FIFA will revoke his peace prize

Ireland, as always, looks green & beautiful today 🇮🇪

[Showing you blood test results on a date] look how normal I am

i’m only giving you THIS much time to decide if you like me •turns over lava lamp•

[I get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "I'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"] me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit

I live in the economic friend zone: not poor enough to be poor, yet not rich enough to be rich.

Eating because I’m hungry, bored, stressed, happy, sad, not hungry, breathing.

I'm sharing a cell with Prince Andrew. He just asked one of the guards when someone's coming to turn down his bed?

sorry Pink Floyd, turns out that we needed education. a lot of it. all of the education, really

I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked whether I had a criminal record. I replied: "No. Is that still a requirement?"

<Goes to a volcano> Who wants to play The Floor Is Lava?

Was it wrong of me to give my friend a Psycho-themed shower curtain for her birthday?

Welcome to your 50s. One wrong move and your body files a formal complaint. Spoiler: there’s no good move.

I’m bonding with my neighbours and it’s only January. This year is getting more suspicious.

The Sombrero Galaxy live from a telescope on Earth. I wonder what the trillions of its inhabitants look like & if they can see us 🤔. It's 30 million light years from us, so everybody on it at this moment has now been dead for 30 million years.

The mills of the gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine.

i nominate the city of minneapolis for the next nobel peace prize

I know you all secretly love my posts. Silence is just another form of admiration.

Every street in America should throw a street party.

I feel like the value in being named Greg is slipping

(Me) <In a restaurant in Disneyland> I'm not sure about this place. I think I smell mice.

Ireland looks beautiful today. ☃️ 🌨️

2025

Happy Christmas to all on Bluesky from Irish Frank 👍🎄😀

I don't think Trump should get access to standard medical care, he should have to let RFK Jr treat him

In these challenging times someone might need one of them: Childline: 0800 1111 Samaritans: 116 123 Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247 Mind: 0300 123 3393 Age UK: 0800 169 6565 Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650 Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677 MH text support: 85258

David Bowie must be spinning in his grave.

As an Irish man, i was always offended by what Norm classed to be an acceptably pulled pint.