Wake up babe, new wallpaper just dropped

Child has invented a kind of soccer where you can pick up the ball if you feel like it. She calls it Yes Hands, and I cannot explain to her why this is funny.

A website with 62 million monthly visitors is hosting 20,000+ videos of women being assaulted in their sleep. It's completely legal. I broke down how—and what accountability would actually look like. open.substack.com/pub/objectio...

"Hi! I'm your Starbucks AI. What are you in the mood to--" "WASP CUP"

Extended cut

he showed up to a mostly empty auditorium, got heckled by anti war protesters opposing the war he just humiliatingly failed to negotiate an end to, erika kirk stood him up, and he tried to explain catholicism to the pope. the only way he could’ve had a worse time is if he pissed his pants up there.

A+ headline. defector.com/president-ex...

1. If you are new to queervc, you should read this thread. 2. If you are established and know how it works, you can skip the thread, but *everyone* should watch this video.

me with the time machine, to my 1996 self: the year is 2026. the Pope is the only world leader you respect. you believe unironically that the cultural mores and sexual behavior of San Francisco are destroying America. computers were a mistake

Still hilarious that four of the six media outlets pictured are owned by the same company.

Warner Bros specifically has had THREE utterly disastrous mergers in the last two decades that ALWAYS result in layoffs, price hikes, shittier products, and everybody losing their shirt, but I want you to notice how the U.S. outlets covering this story don't think that's worth mentioning

My wife: *enjoying delicious birthday cake* Me, seemingly out of nowhere: How do you think Bill Pullman came up with the idea for demons?

Asked my wife, "How do you think Philip Pullman came up with the idea for daemons?" and she stared at me so long that I thought maybe she had no memory of the His Dark Materials books until she revealed she thought I had said _Bill_ Pullman.

not to toot my own horn, but

Setting my "days without Trump doing some Nicolae Carpathia from Left Behind shit" counter to zero.

He’s really taken to this rhino stuffy that I got him at feeders. He’s gone into his crate and carried it out onto the bed where he just plopped his head down on it

GREAT TITS CAN AND DO KILL

I just found out that tiny little field mice climb into flowers like tulips and take little naps in them like hammocks and I feel like this information is too important for me not to share with anyone. 🥹

🚨🚨🚨 NEW SHUTHOUND SIREN 🚨🚨🚨 everybody, meet Edgar, formerly of random Kentucky intersection, currently being fed & petted & generally loved on by longtime reader Brad & family bsky.app/profile/radw...

“pope leo is weak on crime” is his kobe 60 point game

wait, is his head now _shrinking_?

good.

GETTY IMAGES: JD Vance aboard Death Star II calling Jabba the Hutt to endorse Emperor Palpatine.

initially i thought it extremely inappropriate for jd vance to travel to another country and try to meddle in their elections and now i think he should go stump on behalf of every right wing reactionary party in europe, give him a special budget for it, i don't care, get him on the local news

i do want you to imagine, you know, for shits and giggles, what the media coverage of a democratic vice-president absolutely eating shit on not just one, but *two* incredibly important geopolitical events in which he was ostensibly the most important american in the room, all in the same weekend

AGENCY ACTING WITHOUT EMPATHY USING ITS AUTHORITY KIDNAPPING MINORITIES BUT IF WE CAN DIS-OBEY LEAVING THEM IN DISARRAY OPEN UP YOUR EAGER EYES CAUSE I'M MR. FUCK ICE

do you want "Catholicism but american" we invented that, it's called Episcopalianism and it's even more woke. all the priests are lesbians. good luck

Every single one of the astronauts who went to the moon and back on Artemis II was educated at a public school. Thinking of the teachers who poured into Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover, Christina Koch, and Jeremy Hansen tonight. You helped send a kid to the moon! 🌕 💛

Public Education forever

This is great because you get a visceral sense of the acceleration. h/t @jdotj.bsky.social on the video app.

For many years, it didn’t matter how much success I saw professionally or personally. All my parents saw was how overweight I was. But when I told them the weight loss system that worked best for me was transing my gender so I stopped constantly dissociating, boy did they have notes.

Brings me no joy to report this is his “Desolation Row.”

MELANIA: You want me. Out of nowheres. To remind every one. Of my best friend, and child sex monster. Jeffrey Epstein?? (squints evilly) NATHAN FIELDER: (voice over) The First Lady loved my idea.

Here's the HD version

Had me dying. Clip via @alexgoldennba.bsky.social

A year ago I said someone should do Frinkiac for King of the Hill. Well @standard.bsky.social went and DID IT boompane.ordoliberal.com

The TikTok girlies (gender neutral) are hatching a plan to all buy copies of communion by hooks on Vance's release date. I will be participating.

The only reason I have ever wanted to use an LLM is to make a full, seven-minute episode of Bluey called "Dan," which is about the little rat human they adopt as a pet, whose name is Dan. The only thing he says is, *deep, sonorous voice* "Meow."

No! It’s because I’m disassociating!

gotta say, getting all these messages of unfathomable wonder from the astronauts currently further from Earth than any other humans have ever been at the same time the insane American president is vowing nuclear genocide is a bit too "interesting times" for my personal taste

While Trump's assertion that "a whole civilization will die tonight" represents a discrete threat of genocide against Iran, the fact that it comes from a U.S. president, while Congress does nothing, actually represents a broader civilizational collapse — whether he follows through or not.

if we’re sharing the best clickhole space articles, this one has brought me to tears multiple times clickhole.com/this-speech-...

Last year, my nephew (in-law; blended family; basically no direct relationship with)(trying to be transparent) got married. We were the only family members not invited. My mom swore it must have been an oversight. Yesterday, he and his family were at the Easter roll. So. Not an oversight, then.

Yacht season starting early this year.

The Dodgers need to release a jacaranda-blue City Connect jersey

Formative traumatic memory achieved: Easter Sunday at the most beautiful cathedral in Los Angeles. Bored preschoolers run in and out of the side door to the yard. Suddenly (our) child sprints inside, a streak of pastel tulle and ribbons. As she runs, a high pitch shriek slowly fills the sanctuary.

This is a marvelous project and we need thousands more all over the country. www.sfgate.com/la/article/c...

It's. Not. Complicated. (but if you want more (trans, intersex and gnc) Torah Values, there are a lot here):