Urgent care doc: “You’re not pregnant are you?” Me: “NO! No. Am I? What do you know??”

Never mind, it lasted like 60 seconds 😭

Nobody move: my toddler is playing independently For heaven’s sake don’t comment on it

Gabapentin has only ever showed evidence of therapeutic benefit in very few, limited conditions yet it is the fifth most prescribed medicine in the US. The continued extreme focus on prescription opioids has created entirely new problems that are not only being ignored but don’t even have solutions

Lots to unpack here

Us going into 2016: Baby angels with soft skin and not a care in the world Us going into 2026:

we're gonna need a shit ton more etsy witches

confident that if they could, cats would smoke cigarettes

"Time heals all wounds" No it doesn't, you insipid twig in a breeze

Ever since I went to the dentist one of my teeth has been hurting. I can only conclude dentist = bad

People always say "stop doomscrolling," nobody ever says "stop the Doom" Doesn't even cross their minds.

Cannot believe I sourced these Y2K beaded boho clogs in fantastic condition. They are going to go any day now, so get your offers in if you’re interested!! #thriftstore #thriftedfinds ebay.us/m/bC0Nwf

Do you think cauliflower even wants to be in all these things?

Sending roses to her workplace? Annoying, but expected. Posting a song you wrote and recorded about her to the internet? Jail.

Oh, just in case the reminder is needed: - Still not trans people - Still not drag queens - Still the same pedophile predatory party Put these predators out of our misery. Prison is a start. Stop protecting them when they're in our government. (Promise to uphold this contrast and I will do so.)

Knock, knock. Who's there? Tylenol. Tylenol who? Tylenol doesn't cause Autism, you dumb motherfucker.

One thing those nostalgia videos miss is how everything used to smell like stale cigarettes

“My eyes are up here,” I snap at the grocery store manager. “Can’t a woman breastfeed her boyfriend in the seasonal aisle without everyone getting weird about it?”

I was raised agnostic, AMA

You know what we should do you guys? We should give a group of bullies who have been specifically taught to dehumanize other people guns, and tell them to arrest anyone who looks suspicious. Seems like a great idea to me. What could possibly go wrong.

A watched DePop never makes sales

No bc they’re so cute 😭

Be kind and respectful to everyone. Except people who are blatantly unkind and disrespectful. Fuck those people.

If you see politics as purely an intellectual exercise… we will struggle to have a meaningful relationship.

I’m listening to a podcast that began in 2014. A simpler time. They referenced iPods.

Whomever invented queso is an evil genius

be a cactus: stand tall, be strong, and do harm to anyone who tries to touch you without your consent

Ever look at your Google search history and just… 😅

Is a silver lining of tariffs that more people are going to stop buying new and start thrifting / yard saling / fb marketing everything? Could this be the last nail in the coffin of corporate bloat and overconsumption?

you're telling me a crab gooned in this rag?

EVERYONE STOP EVERYTHING Mychal the Librarian is hosting the Reading Rainbow revival!!! reactormag.com/reading-rain...

Whatever floats your scrot

For all the shit I talk about boomers, I do try to remember that nearly all of them are traumatized and have lead poisoning. So

My mom just told me she MADE this necklace wtf!!

Today’s lewk brought to you by DePop (shirt) and my mother (90s choker necklace)

I’d never really experienced it much before but holy shit now I know what people mean when they say The Beach Boys has a bisexual valor theft problem

Aunts in my pants sounds good.

Siiick Also this fit is everything

I was very surprised today that my toddler didn’t object to us playing Tom Waits in the car Turns out she was asleep

It is actually peak absurdity that we still have people arguing that voters should bend to the positions of their political representatives instead of the other way around.

CEO pay is up 1,094% since 1978, while worker pay is up just 26%. Why do we always hear "we can't afford to pay our workers more" but never "we can't afford to pay our CEO more"?

Democrats aren’t doing anything because they’re too busy diving into piles of gold coins

The only Bluesky a doll wants (rip Bluesky soda, you were loved)

Timeless pieces in natural fabrics. Shop here: depop.com/threadyornot

“But Lorelei Gilmore is so unlikable” GOOD. We could always use more unlikable female protagonists. Especially moms.

Vaginas are the butt of the front