Middle aged women were right the entire time. About everything. Sorry Mom.

the “thanksgiving food is bad” discourse raises its ugly head every year, but the truth remains that thanksgiving food can be amazing as long as you know how to cook. the problem is we’re throwing a few million sunday drivers directly into a grand prix

I fucked your dad in Reno Just to watch him cry

Nothing like a saucy flute layered over a trampy triangle

That annual letter you get from the nonprofit you work for that severely underpays you and gives you shit insurance that costs $500 a month and covers nothing… that asks YOU… to donate money… to THEM

Watching my daughter bounce in a bouncy castle while the rest of my family is in another room sitting and talking to each other. A mood. All I need is a beer

men only want one thing and it's the ability to know the difference between whether they are just hungry or if they are experiencing a serious of confusing emotions that they don't understand

I miss my “my bangers” feed. It was always good for an ego boost 😔

MAGA: Trump is going to strip Mamdani of his citizenship! Trump: I’d like to see Mamdani strip

Going on a sabbatical to catch up on laundry

In case y’all didn’t know this, they are pressuring THERAPISTS to use AI to record THERAPY SESSIONS.

This week was definitely 13 days long

Nonprofit names are literally just a plural part of a building Pillars Thresholds Stairways Etc

Maybe we’ll wake up tomorrow and this whole entire last year will be a fever dream

Told my MIL I want a gift card to goodwill for Christmas 🤣 And I meant it!!!

So tired of cis opinions on puberty blockers!! Shut up!! Unless you know what you’re fucking talking about!!! Okay!! Bye

Brain overheating Less news, please

Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.

OMG of course Trump is a Gemini!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry Geminis. How have I never thought to look this up

Just looked it up and of COURSE Mamdani is a Libra

my brain literally cannot process that image rn

Literally the funniest way this meeting could have gone

oh hey I’ve been offline for the last twelve hours or so having a nice day celebrating family and friends and not looking at my phone, so like was today normal, or,

My favorite piece of content today.

This is a dry ass sandwich. Call the Mayo Clinic

One more client. Then I’m going to pick up my kid, go home, and spend as much time as possible on the couch.

Feeling deep gratitude for having a job where I make my own schedule and don’t start till 10 am

U.S. grocery prices have hit a record high — the monthly cost for a family of four is now $1,030.

I thought being the kind of person who can’t relax until my house is clean would mean my place was always really tidy but all it actually means is I’m extra stressed in my slightly cluttered home

Making a To Don’t list

Gonna put “chronically online” on my list of therapist specialties

most friday ass wednesday ever tbh

I really really really really don’t feel like putting my kid to bed. It takes 45-75 minutes and the majority of that time is spent trying to avoid power struggles… 😮‍💨

Turn every Target into affordable housing. I don't think they'll be needing those buildings much longer.

fancy charcuterie crackers are truly the epitome of “sometimes things that are more expensive are worse”

burger!

Once you live long enough to experience the effects of inflation, you really start to understand why your grandpa was always talking about how you could get a can of coke for a nickel. Like, back in my day it was a DOLLAR!! MAYBE $1.25. Now it’s $3.75 or whatever the fuck

Boomers to their own kids: “why are you always asking to borrow money?” Boomers to their employees: “here’s approximately the same paycheck you would have made in this job position 30 years ago.”

WHETHER OR NOT OTHER PEOPLE “HAVE IT WORSE,” YOUR STRUGGLES AND FEELINGS ARE STILL VALID!!!!!!!

me: good night. sweet dreams. love you. goofball: i have a question. me: ok. make it quick. goofball: what does “overthrowing the status quo” mean?

Unfortunately an Aries in Scorpio season is like a bull in a china shop

When you match someone’s energy and they hurl accusations at you of being cruel and detached 🤭

Scorpio season is scorpio seasoning

Me: *Reading my kid the Cat in the Hat” Kid: “I wouldn’t want some weird guy in my house while my mom is gone” Me: “Damn, that’s a good point”

This word that you keep using, "consensual"... I don't think it means what you think it means

sometimes i think people must not be on bsky bc i’m not getting many likes but then i reread my posts and am like oh yeah right

“They not like us” but about everyone in the federal government

NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen. Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.

Like it or not this technology is here to stay and if you don’t use it you’ll fall behind in your industry

Is birthday cake like 20x better cold or is it just me ?