UNBAN ME FROM TWITTER YOU COWARDS

not cool dude, read the room

jc denton: water is honestly GOATed when hydration is the vibe. jc: [doubletaps an nsf agent without hesitation] jc: jc: doritos and pepsi in one family night package? you might even call that snackalicious.

This is my drug.

I guess one difference between me and Elon Musk is that, if I was gaming an AI to say these things about me, and everyone could see that I had done this, I'd have simply no choice but to set myself on fire.

i love writing about crypto crime because these dudes do this constantly

bug

😳

If the President can impose his own taxes and use the proceeds to spend on his own projects, all without Congress, we have a dictatorship not a constitutional republic.

Barking and barking and barking

welcome to the club, wolves

when are concerts gonna start doing this

losing my mind over youtube's suggested reply for this comment

I’ve been trying to learn how to draw over the past two months, starting mostly with repeatedly doodling tiny Fritter heads over and over. This one is the latest and my most proud one yet and I wanted to SHARE it

I'm on an adult sex dating site. I play with, remove, and then swallow the wedding rings of married people during sex. Done it four times now. The look of surprise followed by fear on their faces. It's a sure way that I get to see them again and there is a next time.

Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.

Rebranding “sucks dick” as a positive like “kicks ass”

I think Nintendo should lean all the way in on Samus getting quipped to the whole game. The nerd guy should die but the alien planet absorbs him and all the mushrooms on the planet should talk to you in his voice. They should ask Samus about her weekend plans. Make it a complete introvert nightmare.

Incredible piece of data journalism here from @wsj.com. www.wsj.com/politics/pol...

Cat Follows Man Through Apartment Like Racist Walgreens Employee https://theonion.com/cat-follows-man-through-apartment-like-racist-walgreens-employee/

internet is crazy

The excesses of anti-sellout culture were people being slightly annoying about bands. The excesses of "get that bag" culture is people shilling unregulated casino apps, AI therapy, and poisonous "supplements" to children.

Any other time, any other President, and "the dude was in a global conspiracy to fuck them kids" would have been 24/7 coverage. Even Dubya. I remember the fucking Lewinsky coverage. Our media have become craven hacks carrying water for rich pedophiles and I feel insane typing that but there it is.

Easy fix, get a fursona.

‘The Owl House’ creator Dana Terrace responds to Disney+ funding AI-generated short form content in new tweet: “Unsubscribe from Disney+. Pirate Owl House. I don’t care. Fuck gen AI.”

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes. Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

"He only raped children who were at least 13 years old" really, really isn't the "gotcha" you seem to think it is.

Always thinking of you, ya freaks

Every office has an executive tier whose emails are like: saw on news , , can we replce complianc dept with web 3 and a worker tier whose emails are like: Dear Jim, First of all, I *love* this idea! Unfortunately, I spoke with Legal and identified a few issues with this approach. For starters…

I think of this every time I take the car

how did i go so long not knowing we were literally teaching people to read wrong. i knew something wasn't right but jesus christ www.apmreports.org/episode/2019...

bluesky

Got turned down on a piece about ICE in Chicago for an international news org because they believed I couldn’t be objective about my neighbors getting kidnapped. And well, guilty as charged I guess.

> “Tesla shareholder meeting” > look inside > 54 yo crackhead retelling tl;drs of dystopian sci-fi novels he read on reddit the night before

there's a moment in PARADISE LOST where Satan arrives in Eden and realizes Hell isn't a place; it's a thing he carries within him and it'll follow him wherever he goes. and i think about that when i see these awful rich men whose monstrous wealth has enriched them not at all