award for creepiest random ass instagram dm from a random guy's account goes to

hello mr. handsome

hello earth by kate bush is a perfect song

first time at a burlesque show and i immediately spill my entire gin and tonic on the floor 💙

daylight savings just slapped me across the face and called me a bitch wtf

they're bullying me for being a millennial on instagram. i've made it

as an artist whose practice is naturally kind of solitary i feel 'parallel play' is the single most important concept in my adult life and it only becomes more evident with time

no no no. im not touching this trend this is a humiliation ritual

i know rationally and in my heart that there is nothing wrong with wrap dresses and many are in fact quite beautiful but i am so traumatized from being a preteen with big boobs who had no choice but to wear them that i see the style and instantly recoil in 90% of cases

shout out to the japanese guy in my ig dms who calls me monday-chan im never gonna let you into my inbox but your messages make me smile

took one look at the weather app and said ITS SO WARMMM!!!

me in a funny little knit bonnet btw if you even care

ive always loved day of the week underwear but never owned any . im thinking about buying seven of the same pair of undies in different colors and screen printing MONDAY on the ass of each one in slightly different handwriting

the most interesting woman you've ever met has been brought to her knees by a situationship with a guy in a band. or a barista

forgot i hired a guy to repair my hope chest so he materialized at my door and i had to let him have at it without emptying it out first. that man saw my rainbow strap on

school doctor i've been seeing about my meds said she told the school psychologist about my story and that he is "interested in my case" and would like to meet with me even though he very rarely makes time for new patients.. well ok.. if hes interested....

the alan smiling friends yumeshipper with the giant life sized handmade character plush following me back feels like a career milestone

can never remember a single interesting thing about myself when it comes to 2 truths and a lie. all i've ever got is the dome house

men will leave you. friends is forever

valentine's day is cancelled everyone go home

you should really be titting out with your friends more often

i remember this as being much more famous than i think it ever was. its very famous to me. i think this song and video genuinely altered the trajectory of my life www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wW5...

for some reason ive been coping lately by buying fancy pajamas. ive been buying like a nightgown or matching set or slip almost every time i get paid. like somehow my post-cashout self improvement resolution was to look cuter at night alone in my apartment

climbed in bed in a silk slip with a sleeve of crackers in hand and the joy of living alone and just doing fucking whatever hit me and i went YAY!! YAY

what i see when i turn around at my desk at 7am on a thursday

watched a video from a californian girl who was hitchhiking on the autobahn and the germans she caught a ride with told her to show them some crazy california music so she put on gasolina for them and they went crazy. listening to it on the metro now and it really is the perfect song choice

hired a guy to come assemble a table for me and he asked me out as he left. feels like every other man wants me except for the one i tried to be with . never be bisexual it's not worth it

man who delivered my couch pointed and laughed at my fish shaped pencil pouch, showed his colleague, then said "you look like billie eilish" as he left. like ships in the night

I used to love computer it was my friend. Now I have hate in my heart

in the aftermath of a painful breakup and a winter move and several health incidents ive been feeling pretty fucking bad about myself recently and the only and i mean ONLY thing keeping me going is the fact that im gonna get a cunty haircut next week from the same woman who did it last time

where do restaurants get off charging $18+ for fried rice. it's rice . god forbid i want someone who doesn't care if i live or die to make me some greasy rice

i think it's really cute that hydro quebec signs off emails in english with 'yours truly'

my special skill is eaitng a whole kiwi. just fucking biting into it. feels like biting into the arm of a hairy man. no traces left

hey so i applied for that position in september of fucking 2023

just brush me hard twin

keep opening bluesky like i have something to say but all that ever comes to mind is just brush me hard twin

last night i finally stumbled across an illegal roblox game where you can fuck. saw many incredible sights

toria and i were discussing why i get bullied so much more than her in roblox when i use my voice and she suggested i record us talking to see who has a higher pitched voice bc that may be a factor. i don't have any answers but here's a glimpse into our chat

appetite's been bad lately and i keep playing this game of "i won't eat until im hungry enough to eat what i have in the fridge". learning this doesn't work bc im as stubborn as a toddler and would rather starve than eat real food if i want, for example, milk tea for dinner

just brush me hard twin

Ok, it begins. I am now posting Putty Pygmalion in full online. The comic updates once a week (four pages) on Monday <3 Cover sculpt by @laszloshaak on insta , story edited and co-written by @kresendoe.bsky.social Reminder that the full story is up for purchase as a physical book! 🧵(0/16)

it is literally all about love even when you think it is not. love is literally the point

little animal who lives in my house

banning myself from any and all 'kill myself' music until this passes. looking at you mitski

walking home crying my eyes out holding my belongings immediately post breakup and a guy stops me to tell me i'm sexy and can he take me home. can't make this shit up