My alabaster milk child Teuton keeps asking for ranch dressing at the caviar factory, it is most epic. The fishmongers despise him.

If a pet shop has a cage with a sign that reads "don't put your fingers through the bars, I bite," that's a direct challenge to you personally. Surely the creature won't bite you? You're so nice?

If you want Bluesky to be good you need to be weirder

TRUMP: in the UK you have to marry windmills now. it's illegal not to. I asked my friend Nigel about the sexy windmills and he said "sorry Mr President my name isn't Nigel now, it's Mrs Windmill." Why? A certain Prime Minister called Sharia Law. Very bad. BBC NEWS: Trump urges UK war participation

TRUMP: I eat a gun every day. sometimes I eat it whole, sometimes I blend it and put it in a sandwich. my physician keeps trying to stop me, he says stop eating the guns, you'll become too powerful, but I don't listen, because my ears are guns now BBC NEWS: Trump weighs in on firearms debate

TRUMP: I was the first man to speak French. bonjour I said one day and my doctor started throwing up. how are you doing that, he asked. it's medically not possible. I say baguette, the guy has a heart attack. very sad. his kids are orphans now BBC NEWS: reassuring words on the EU from Trump

TRUMP: I invented electricity. did it one day, turned on a lamp and a scientist gasped and said wow how did you do that and I said I just flicked a switch and he started crying and saying "sir you've just saved Africa from ebola" BBC NEWS: a sober reflection on healthcare from the President

TRUMP: honk honk honk, I'm a big goose. everyone tells me whenever I enter a room, that's the biggest goose I've ever seen and I say yes. I'm a big goose. in a good way. a lot of Somalians are small stupid gooses but I'm a big goose BBC NEWS: a disciplined Trump sticks to the script on the economy

You didn’t know that this is how authoritarian regimes work? Yeah, this is how they work.

“I’m so cheesed!” should mean you’re feeling amazing not angry.

Oh that’s not great www.theguardian.com/world/live/2...

Got to have this great talk with one of the top free speech experts in the US. Takeaway: American press freedom hasn't looked this bad for a couple hundred years.

Why do I feel like this is going to be a cutaway in a 2040 period drama accompanied by Barber’s Adagio for Strings?

“The good thing about writing books is that you can dream while you are awake.” - Haruki Murakami

everyone is always hand wringing about what's legal or not, when he's shown time and time again that he gives no fucks about the legality of things, and frankly, no one has stopped him. no one has stopped him.

Phoebe Sanders on YouTube with a timeline cleanse.

It's not impossible that Trump just looked at Putin and said "He kept a pointless illegal war going for years and he's cool. I bet I could do that." That may be all we're talking about here.

out now in Science: @loganjames.bsky.social collected pairs of sounds in 16 species where we *know* which sound is more attractive (to that species) he played them to ppl on themusiclab.org, asking, in each pair, which was nicer. humans agreed w other animals doi.org/10.1126/science.aea1202

One thing that AI evangelists seem to assume, particularly legal AI evangelists assume, is that the thinking and analysis is quick, and the writing is just tedious busywork that slows us down. But the writing IS the thinking and analysis. You work out the thinking and analysis by writing it down.

Heck yes

did you know that telling a certain kind of person that they should write a book is a sort of denial of service attack on them

This actually happened, kids. This actually happened.

Ok, Dune Trailer: Very concerned about the Paul emphasis. This is a story about our beloved St. Alia of the Knife vs those dreadful little precocious brats, not about that interstellar war criminal. Maybe they are thinking the people won't come unless it's a movie about a fella?

Today I am quitting my job working for Mr Trump because I just found out he's stupid. It has been the privilege of my life to work for this dipshit, who I would die for

are you an oil tanker? because you dress like you're trying to pass with the straights

UK SNL is part of a bit we do similar to how we send the jacksonville jaguars over there ever year

A piece I wrote for SVG Europe on the occasional benefits of machine learning (your friends might call it "AI") for live broadcast. www.svgeurope.org/blog/headlin...

Funfact from @phillipspobrien.bsky.social : The US has received more aid from Ukraine in 2026 than Ukraine has received from the US youtu.be/DuAJYabShdY?...

europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of hormuz

Cheers to everyone who delayed fossil fuel phaseout by saying "you can't switch off fossil fuels overnight" Because thanks to them everyone now has to face a situation where fossil fuels are switched off overnight 🙃🙃🙃

fun fact: Julius Caesar's last known words were, "why's everyone acting so fucking weird???"

"...when a professor chooses a PhD student, they will tend to choose someone who has had uninterrupted research opportunities in a first-world country, rather than someone like me who has fallen behind simply because of war, instability, and internet shutdowns"

If we made the green energy transition this war would be unthinkable and these authoritarians wouldn’t be in power — not in the US, not in Iran, not in Saudi Arabia, not in Russia. Hydrocarbons are killing our freedom and just plain killing us.

"saying the quiet part out loud" is rapidly becoming one of my least favorite expressions as it is more and more often used for things people were simply never quiet about

“It’s because I’m an empath” [not an empath]

No one protected the Circassians or the Herero in the pre-liberal world. They were unlucky, and then they were largely destroyed. Liberalism was not dominant *enough* in the post-1945 world. But it was a hell of a lot better than nothing. And we're about to rediscover why all over the world.

imagine you’re on a spaceship and then some random guy says that all the water and power on board should be used to generate fake sentences and ugly pics

the woke ginger got moneymaxxed to postmog kat abughazaleh. he was caught bribegooning while rizzminning. my mom: that’s nice honey when are you going to come visit?

If you find yourself following someone who is called woke ginger or pissed off nurse or whatever, they’re not your ally. Your ally is someone with an obscure Pokémon avatar called like ant piss aficionado

I know it's a silly jokey joke, but people REALLY need to stop anthropomorphizing their boyfriends. "My boyfriend told me" your boyfriend didn't "tell" you anything. "My boyfriend thinks..." your boyfriend can't actually think or feel; just output a convincing simulation of it based on probability 🙄

Pete Hegseth at a military funeral, trying to fist bump a grieving widow

✋ Former USG war crimes lawyer here. Apropos of SecDef's remarks this morning: Denial of quarter—even the declaration of no quarter—is a war crime. And recognized as such by the US Government. From DoD's Manual for Military Commissions.

I believe @katmabu.bsky.social is unsuitable for public office because she lacks the necessary cowardice. Account number & sort code in bio.

This is the kind of mess you get when you put FPS players in positions that should be filled by RTS players.

"I don't know what weapons the next war will be fought with, but the one after that will be with sticks." "Because of nukes, right?" "No, because we decided logistics was woke."

OTD in 1938 the Austrian Anschluss. A dictator sent his army over the border & later had illegal referendum with rigged result that violated numerous treaties. The West expressed only “concern” which turned out not to be enough to prevent war…. Imagine that happening today.

“anyway so how’s your flesh prison been tho”

anteaters should eat a more balanced diet

We should all remember that Donald Trump is only failing miserably at something George Bush wanted to fail at miserably.