Not a lot of interest in my Luge for Seniors class

*realtor trying to stop her nosebleed* I do love a home with a breezeway

Those yahoos should try a round and see if their hip flexors can handle it. Not to mention moving yourself around the ice on one foot while paddling with the other, like an upright human canoe.

They've gone Epstinct.

With the new Muppet Show special, Seth Rogen and company finally did the thing every Muppets fan has been asking for forever: They just made The Muppet Show again. My review:

I wrote a piece...i believe they call it "an appreciation"... about one of my comedy heroes: Ms.Catherine O'Hara. www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv...

Michele Bachmann in braces for CarShield

Upside down duckling is upside down. Well done 12. #duckling

How is this not Kate McKinnon

Thinking about running some ethernet cable under the house but also kinda weirded out by the idea of the internet being in my crawlspace. Maybe it should stay where I can keep an eye on it.

And I think this one’s done! Strange Sport Stories sketch: Jimmy Olsen vs Swamp Thing. This will go up on the Helioscope etsy in a few days, or if you want it right now, it’s yours for free if you make a $400 donation to the trans law center. transgenderlawcenter.org/donate/ DM me to coordinate.

I wrote about my experiences being sexually exploited as a child, and what we need to do to make sure AI doesn’t make that a reality for millions of children. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

can someone please show trump Greenland’s actual size and change history as he loses interest?

As a social movements scholar, I absolutely love the diversity of tactics being developed by each city, reflecting their local flavor Portland kept it weird with inflatable costumes Chicago protected its street vendors by buying up their food each day Charlotte chased ICE agents into the woods

These people have the worst cases of Stockholm Syndrome! The answer to this should be, "You're a public servant. I expect you to answer my question civilly and without insults. If you can't, find me someone who can." What would happen? He'd get barred from these sham events? And lose what, exactly?

I never got an answer

I love you, Fairfield, CT driver who just passed me blaring “Sundown” by Gordon Lightfoot

have you considered screaming inside your heart

Tonight in 1960 — “Man from the South” aired on ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS. Peter Lorre and Steve McQueen star as gamblers who make a macabre bet in this adaptation of Roald Dahl’s short story. Directed by Norman Lloyd and co-starring Neile Adams (McQueen's wife). YouTube: youtu.be/zvyaovvQ0TI?...

found the new CBS mission statement.

Lin-Manuel Miranda stars in the new musical Zohran with a Z

Aside from the pears the snacks in a Harry & David gift basket are terrible. How do you fuck up Trail Mix?

what's a matter babe you hardly touched your clud sandwich

My wife captured this image of a gust of wind stirring the newly snow-dressed trees outside our NYC apartment just a few moments ago.

Merry Christmas!

We called my son "Gladys Kravitz" when he was a wee one, because anytime he heard any noise outside he'd run to the picture window to snoop. I expected his first complete sentence to be something like "Abner, Mr. Stevens just got of his car and he's only four feet tall!"

Well, happy anniversary to one of the finest of festive exchanges

I have to say I think it was a mistake putting Barry White in charge of CBS News. Great singer but he’s no journalist, and he’s been dead for 20 years

I shared this earlier just about Trump, but from the responses it's gotten, I'm beginning to think newspapers should run this piece every December, like the "Yes, Virginia..." letter, but for adults who dread going home for the holidays. (And they should pay royalties to @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social.)

Dogs that were groomed today in Sherman Oaks. Let’s hear it for Gramps!

"I am really fascinated by other culture's holiday traditions so shoutout to my boy the Yule Cat," one meme reads. "A monstrous cat who roams Iceland eating people who aren't wearing the clothes they got for Christmas."

I❤️NY

Something solid and bright shines through the stage fog of O'Neill's "Anna Christie" at St. Ann's Warehouse: Michelle Williams. She endows the title role of a lost woman among loutish men with sensitivity, complexity and a dawning proto-feminist conviction; she earns her rebirth.

It was relentless. We got soaked. Wind turned the rain into waves. And yet, it is still my privilege to walk sweet Ella, who needs me, and hates the rain. 🐶🩷☕️ #NYC

Watching the lovely DEAR HEART (1964) on TCM with this sublime cast of 60s character actors. Hey that’s Gladys Kravitz!

the second buss followed by the cop car and a fucking snow plow is truly some cartoon shit, Oscar worthy

if tumblr dies I need this video to make it's seasonal rotation here instead just in case, Happy holidays 🎄

I got a Presley baby in exchange for my old Jeep Cherokee

"It appeared on Toma’s shirt on a Monday so ordinary it was making his teeth hurt. The extra button was identical to all the others in everything except for one thing: it had no corresponding buttonhole. This fact bothered Toma the most." @amadolaila.bsky.social mrbullbull.com/newbull/flas...

If you want to celebrate the life of Rob Reiner tonight and you haven't seen it, the documentary about his best friend, ALBERT BROOKS: DEFENDING MY LIFE, is as much about Brooks as it is Reiner's love for his lifelong best friend. As fall down hilarious as it is sweet & touching. It's a must see.

Thank you to everyone who has picked up a copy of my first short story collection. Your interest is much appreciated, a rare bright spot in a grim year.

Rob Reiner, who gave so much joy to so many - who, in the words of Cary Elwes, had "a laugh you could hear in Detroit." Who was according to Mandy Patinkin an "actor's director... who made you feel like whatever you thought of was a wonderful idea." Generous, joyful, loving, creating. Always.

I got visited by three ghosts last night, who were all experts in English grammar.

Hurry, we have to walk in the snow before the world wakes up

I couldn’t resist buying another Christmas gift for myself and I got this autographed John Waters barf bag! I was sad when I saw John last month and he wasn’t signing stuff, so when I saw this online, I jumped at it. It will be displayed with my Odorama cards from “Polyester.”

in the movies this is the screensaver on the computers at the world’s most evil company

I worked for Frank Gehry. Because of him, I went to The Simpsons Halloween party, had a key to the Disney Concert Hall, met amazing artists. Frank was wonderful to me. When I left his office, he said you'll do big things, just try to stay out of politics. Sorry, Frank. Your memory is a blessing ❤️

QT: ok y’know who else I can’t stand? Host: Joseph Kony QT: MATTHEW LILLARD Host: dude QT: Know who I love? Host: oh no QT: Mister Roman Polanski