Cate intimidating the grass at Wimbledon 2025

Good morning to everyone who, like me until today, was unaware that Nixon personally designed these uniforms for his Secret Service guards to wear. They were wildly unpopular and ended up being donated to a high school marching band.

Harry Kane looks like a 30-year-old actor who’s playing a teenager on 90210

Tennessee Williams would’ve loved air conditioning

Me: What’s your dog’s name? Him: Fontaine Me: *passes out*

Is it not clear now that reforming the Supreme Court must be at the top of the agenda along with accountability?

Go to hell, lemon yogurt!

Please don’t watch me trying to get out of this Adirondack chair

On another quest to get to the artichoke heart. So many traps along the way

Like my grandma always said: Do one thing every day that scares your aunt Carol

Replace the Wilhelm scream with the Howard Dean scream

by the great @reelquinn.bsky.social Found this screenshot somewhere

I read an article about Mick Hucknall having "well-publicized feuds with Steve Coogan and the Gallagher brothers" and guess which Gallagher brothers came to mind first

Find the giraffe

The sort of thing you get offered by a guy in a Hold Steady song

I listened to the audiobook of Burrows fantastic 2022 memoir last year. He only was really negative about one person: Rob Schneider, whom he worked with on Men Behaving Badly. When Jimmy Kimmel had Burrows on to promote his memoir, the interview lasted 26 minutes. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhu5...

That is one big Lite Brite. #TheToweringInferno #TCMParty

Looking at long sleeve sun-protective shirts and I’m baffled by the amount of crop tops available. “The sun will never harm my arms and shoulders, but my rebel torso lives dangerously!"

Forget it, Jake.

The Music Box explores one of the unspoken interests of the Master Of Suspense with our next classic film series FOND OF HIS MOTHER: QUEER-CODED HITCHCOCK! Featuring PSYCHO, STRANGERS ON A TRAIN, ROPE, and more. June 6th-27th Full Schedule: musicboxtheatre.com/series-and-f...

If I were an action hero, this is what I’d say to the bad guy before the kill shot.

There’s a Swedish hockey player named Felix Unger-Sörum

This is what the average 22 year old conservative influencer looks like nowadays

Armonk Indoor Tennis Academy’s unfortunate acronym

woke up mad at the wrong thing again :/

On this day in 2001, Dona Massin died. Born in Winnipeg in 1917, she worked as a choreographer on over 100 films in her career. On The Wizard of Oz, she pushed for Over The Rainbow to be included in the film and developed the Yellow Brick Road skip.

Crocodiles are carrying knives now

Knock knock. - Who’s there? … - I said who’s there? … - Come on now. Tell me! Who’s there?!

Liam Neeson gets to the airport early in A Couple Hours to Kill

Dreamed that Meryl Streep was my mom and we were shopping for my school supplies. Meryl/Mom kept leaving me to talk with fans and I was like ugh really mother? Then one of Meryl’s daughters appeared behind a shelf laughing about my choice of Trapper Keeper. I spun around and said, “Shut up, Mamie.”

In 2017, we traveled to Brooklyn to do a show at BAM, and our guest dropped out at the last minute. We called Stephen Colbert and he agreed to fill in *but only if we asked him the questions we had prepped for the original guest, without telling him who it was.* www.npr.org/programs/wai...

finally finished my Room 222 spec no thanks to those noisy assholes at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf

Strudel and his blankie

What wine pairs well with a dog sneezing in your face

(I make a "mouth" with the side of my hand and draw little eyes above it) Richard Dawkins: hmmmm (I put lipstick around the "mouth") Richard Dawkins, suavely: well hello

kids in the 1930s: Say there’s a new George Burns picture! kids in the 1970s: Hey there’s a new George Burns movie!

“This Netflix series is just awful." “And there are only four episodes."

Thank you for pointing out the piece of lettuce in my hair. Of course I know how it got there

one of the best parts about broadcast news is when holly hunter leaves the white house correspondents dinner early to try to get laid

The patsy is in custody

Cheryl Hines trying to ignore Triumph the Insult Comic Dog hahahaha

If your city has a bookstore crawl on Indie Bookstore Day, it will bring you guaranteed joy and adventure and sometimes free pastries.

Very excited to reveal the cover for my next book, Serling: A Journey Into The Twilight Zone with TV’s First Visionary. The book will be published by Grand Central on October 13 of this year, and pre-orders are open now: www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/alan-...

My favorite part of walking dogs is when they look up at me and smile like, “Isn’t this GREAT?” and “Thanks for carrying my poop” and “I won’t run if you unleash me” and “You’re kind of stupid, aren’t you?"

this album is a masterpiece and i am not kidding

Fate whispers to the warrior, “You cannot withstand the storm." The warrior whispers back, “Sorry, what?" Fate: "You cannot withstand the storm." Warrior: “You’re cutting out. Like you’re in a tunnel." Fate: “Now you say, 'I am the storm.’" Warrior: “There’s a huge storm here, call me back."

Swalwell: I am committed to finding the real rapist and won’t stop until I find him

Chef: This is what I make when I don’t feel like cooking- Me: Grilled cheese? Chef: … then just fill the honey-glazed duck cavity with star anise, ginger, garlic and scallions now preheat the