I know these men don't think of women as people, but if there are some other men who haven't personally done this but don't understand why this might not be a clear, bright-line case of rape: imagine this as a form of physical torture if you are an unwilling participant

I have achieved ultimate shandy

Step 1: close all the youth centres Step 2: ban children from shopping centres "because of the crime" Step 3: harass children in parks "because of the crime" Step 4: ban children from online social media … Why are all the children depressed, antisocial, and bored? Why are they turning to crime?

The great thing about Britain is you're free to think whatever you want to think and say whatever J. K. Rowling's lawyers permit you to say.

Really crazy to learn that JK Rowling once worked at Amnesty International as a bilingual researcher but she was fired because she was too busy writing books during work hours instead of documenting war crimes in French speaking Africa.

"The One Ring is an allegory for screen time" - Lewis's post-bottle share wisdom

Apologies for the lack of content on here recently, we got invited to a party with Steve Carell and David Beckham and now they’re making us just like stand behind the sofa while they watch the football. Thierry Henry’s here too.

"we don't have enough Walkers for the viewing party" is a problem no-one has ever had

I imagine it's probably a subconscious habit of parents to just pop their small children down on surfaces around their houses but I could really do without nappy-clad toddlers being sat down on the bar and encouraged to crawl along it while my back is turned. for, like, so many reasons.

Nothing more home counties than overheard binface chat at the farmers market

The mental image of someone checking their Ring doorbell and then Count Binface appears has absolutely sent me.

Bottle Share Mondays are where the magic happens! 🤤 Monday 13th, 7pm, Maidenhead, bring some beers you want to share, and if you feel like bringing a cheese to go with it we're always fromage friendly 🧀❤️

When something is so obviously a terrible idea, it is ok to just...say no thanks and ban it. We don't have to wait 15 years and then slowly ban if after a whole bunch of irreperable damage has been done to individuals and society.

Given that neither Sia nor David Guetta are from any of the host nations of the tournament, can someone in the know please explain why Titanium has played before pretty much every game this world cup?

FIFA have confirmed Balogun’s suspension has been lifted and he *will* be allowed to stand in the Clacton by election

Saying you're the "most physically attacked" MP when two MPs have been killed in the last decade is just horribly self-absorbed.

1-4 the road? Come and get your Belgian beers for the late night fixtures from our freshly stocked fridge of dreams! 🖤💛❤️

*Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays*

We've had an influx of generative AI-created pitches lately and wanted to reiterate our stance: AI sucks. Support real writing by real people. Become a Pellicle Patreon subscriber: www.patreon.com/pelliclemag?...

What the hell is this? They should have lost by 30.

once again that time where I'm searching for something to wear to a wedding and asking the sweet baby jesus why everything needs to have gigantic wide puff sleeves and ruffles on it. I'm going to look like a linebacker dipped in meringue. DELICIOUS.

morning all

BBC: ‘Ronaldo in tears as Portugal crash out of World Cup’

I love Belgium so much that I think I'm going to go back to Ghent in a couple of weeks just to rub it in

Cristiano Ronaldo: what if a mall in Dubai was a person

all of us waiting for footage of Ronaldo crying

Every lifelong football fan I've ever met is like "I think players are supposed to serve their suspension" and every adult convert is like "the Archon of Constantinople's epistle on the Pentacostine rites of the eucharist clearly states handballs are mandatory."

Pictures from a friend of mine who works on a crab-fishing boat off the coast of Newfoundland. I love the nightmare crab door.

opposition fans, singing in unison: 🎶 you’re shit, and you know you are 🎶 americans, crying: that’s not true. you can’t say that

Also, sorry, but no, this is not an instance where you "gotta hand it to Trump." I don't care if it was the wrong call. And I don't care that FIFA is already comically corrupt. Having the president of the host country lean on FIFA to get them to make this change is 100% bad.

look is it unfair that football fans are holding the USA to a higher standard than Russia/Qatar? maybe? But also... wouldn't you *rather* be held to a higher standard than those countries? the bar of "you didn't have slave labour to build your stadiums" is not exactly a high one to clear?

Americans soccersplaining to the whole world on behalf of their corrupt and ignorant leader is quite something.

my theory is that it proves that the US just isn't a football nation at heart - sure you can be happy with a bit of shithousery, or with one of your players getting away with something they shouldn't have got away with, but something like *this* is just on a different level entirely

Didn’t stay up for the football but I’m a big fan of anything that temporarily harms productivity, there’s not enough slacking off nowadays

Yes she also *wept* on air when announcing Prince Philip’s death which I’m sorry to be mean but 🚩

😭😭😭😭😭❤️🤍💚

Sepp Blatter, still carrying his briefcases full of Russian and Qatari money, passing Infantino: "bit much, mate"

This might be the most blatant example in existence of "rich guy who created a problem attempting to place the blame for that problem on immigrants"

Yep: me, my wife and several friends would almost certainly be dead by now without it.

Whoever thought it would be a good idea to eat crisps on air on a Sunday morning on 6 Music needs launching into a fucking sewer

mad that there's been a massive schism in the church and a wedding ceremony officiated by Adam Sandler on the same weekend, and that these two things aren't related

At Slough station awaiting a cab home, where the Henley cunts have merged with the Metallica fans, creating a smorgasbord of men with whom (for a variety of reasons) I would not want to be trapped in an elevator.

Fair play to FIFA acting quickly and moving the Mexico v England game once they realised ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶l̶u̶c̶r̶a̶t̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶E̶u̶r̶o̶p̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶T̶V̶ ̶a̶u̶d̶i̶e̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶f̶i̶g̶u̶r̶e̶s̶ there were potentially dangerous thunderstorms.

Every publican we know has just had a bit of a panic

really love how we, as an entire society, are having to change basically everything we do online because a couple of guys in silicon valley wanted to get a bit richer

IT'S A GORGEOUS WEEKEND FOR CRISPY PINTS! ✨️ TOMORROW: DJ Milc bringing the beats from 7pm!! 🍻 SATURDAY: ENG v RSA Rugby Nations on the big screen! 🏉 See you at the bar!

Given trans people are less than 1% of the population, getting it wrong 4% of the time means you are 4x as likely to misgender a cis woman than spot someone is trans. This is without accounting for the effects of hormones, surgery etc. Absolute madness from the EHRC chair. A "human rights" body.