Wish Trump would annex this stupid brewery.

Delighted to announce we’re the Official Beer Partner of The One Joke About The FIFA Peace Prize™

In better news though, 2026 really feels like the year craft beer is going to break through to the mainstream!

Good news everyone, the fascist sociopath has added a sexual assault generator to his website! At this point it’s fair to assume that any brewery / football team / MP / rando still using it actively supports these things.

2025, a year in review:

Aye, go on then, merry Christmas and suchlike.

HAPPY FESTIVE PERIOD FELLOW WOKES

Not being funny like but if you haven't been to Vessel yet what are you doing with your life?

Delighted to announce we’re the Official Beer Supplier™ of the Glasgow Celtic Christmas party

Galling that while even set against a horrendous economic backdrop this has been the brewery's best year on record and yet we still can't be happy because every so often we remember Wes Streeting's face.

Good news everyone, our LinkedIn Year In Review is in! Tbh it’s mostly just all the times we left crying laughing emojis under one of James Watt’s great bits of banter.

Just for info by the way, the new Fort Bar in Leith is absolutely not a 3-way brewery collab, we're all just supplying them beer. The folk who do run it are lovely and you should definitely go, but it's very much not us.

If any macro brewers want to come and buy us we will happily lose you 2.7 million quid.

The Holy Grail of stout: Staggs, Musselburgh Moccachino stout on cask @pilotbeer.co.uk

This week our malt supplier told us malt will be cheaper next year because of Ozempic and it really felt like the point where we realised we don’t understand anything anymore.

This week our malt supplier told us malt will be cheaper next year because of Ozempic and it really felt like the point where we realised we don’t understand anything anymore.

Just had had Hue & Cry mistakenly wander into the brewery trying to buy a forklift truck. Think they were looking for Linde.

Tell you what, sales are absolutely flying so far this month. On the assumption that this upwards trend will continue on into January and February we’ve just ordered a fleet of Bentleys.

Delighted to announce we're the Official Beer Partner™ of the 2026 FIFA World Cup

Apologies for the lack of content on here, we've been busy smashing out games of padel with all the other entrepreneurs. Just off for a quick ice bath then once we've left a few crying laughing emojis under James Watt's hilarious LinkedIn posts we'll reveal the Hogmanay plans for Vessel. Ciao.

Order away if you must. We’re not spoon-feeding you a link though. Find it yourself.

It’s back up again. Brilliant.

Just a heads up that our website is currently down due to the Cloudflare outage and we've asked Cloudflare if they can just keep it like that forever.

One like. One single like. We used to be able to get hundreds over on Twitter. This is all Musk’s fault and entirely unrelated to that joke being both irredeemably awful and utterly nonsensical in the context of this being a commercial brewery’s account.

In April 1993 both D:Ream and Sting appeared on Top Of The Pops. D:Ream singer Peter Cunnah asked the former Police frontman if he'd like to stroke his springer spaniel, which he'd brought to the studio for emotional support, but Sting would only pet setters.

Due to a misunderstanding with a supplier we're delighted to announce the launch of our new Mexican Quorn lager.

NEW - @pilotbeer.co.uk Clemonbalm Sour. 5.2% abv. £3.20/33cl

We put over 17 tonnes of fresh New World #hops into every IPA we brew!

Say what you will about AI but you can’t deny it’s helping people who have nothing interesting to say about anything be boring faster.

People say there’s no point in breweries doing political stuff but did anyone ever hear anything again from Vladimir Putin after Brewdog put him on that brutally satirical bottle?

They rearranged it for today but now half of them are just standing outside refusing to come in? They’re all saying it’s fine but it really looks like they all despise each other. All a bit awkward tbh.

Alcohol duty up and no windfall tax on banks then. Good job we're still a bank.

NEW - @pilotbeer.co.uk NZPale. 4.5% abv. £3.10/33cl

Thinking about doing a Liz Truss / lettuce thing except it’s the Labour party vs Brewdog.

Keep getting asked if we're doing a Christmas beer. No. Because of woke.

There's room for like one more team for the quiz and pie jamboree, so you're really going to want to book RIGHT NOW if you're wanting to come. pilotbeer.co.uk/piespintspri...

Pint?

Did you miss it while it was gone there? No? Then just don't go back.

This Thursday's Beaujolais Nouveau offer at Vessel takes the concept of value and stretches it beyond the limits of comprehension. A French-inspired three course meal for two and a bottle of 2025 Beaujolais Nouveau for 65 quid. 65 quid! FOR TWO! BOOK NOW! vesselbars.co.uk

We are disappointed to announce that Your Party’s planned piss up in our brewery has had to be cancelled due to a lack of organisation.

The rate the embarrassing revelations about Trump are coming out it’s a matter of time before it turns out he’s got an Untappd account

Let's cut to the chase. PIE, MASH AND QUIZ FOR A TENNER: pilotbeer.co.uk/piespintsprizes BRAND NEW TOTES: pilotbeer.co.uk/totebag

Let's cut to the chase. PIE, MASH AND QUIZ FOR A TENNER: pilotbeer.co.uk/piespintsprizes BRAND NEW TOTES: pilotbeer.co.uk/totebag

Does this look like the kind of place you'd like? Do you also like quizzes? And pie, mash and gravy? Would you like to only pay TEN POUNDS for a quiz, a pie, a mash and a gravy? THEN COME TO THIS! BOOK NOW TO AVOID CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT! pilotbeer.co.uk/piespintsprizes

Does this look like the kind of place you'd like? Do you also like quizzes? And pie, mash and gravy? Would you like to only pay TEN POUNDS for a quiz, a pie, a mash and a gravy? THEN COME TO THIS! BOOK NOW TO AVOID CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT! pilotbeer.co.uk/piespintsprizes

Made it to Vessel at last! Lovely bar and even lovelier @pilotbeer.co.uk Vienna Pale

BACK - @pilotbeer.co.uk Idris Melba 7.5% abv. £4.60/33cl

Apologies, this might be our last post for a while as we've just been arrested by the woke police for saying Christmas. These days if you say Christmas you'll be arrested and thrown in jail.

Do you have someone in your life who likes beer, coffee and smells? Do they have a birthday or a Christmas coming up? Then why not get them this? WHY NOT GET THEM THIS? pilotbeer.co.uk/mochaccinobundle