Lol we weren’t even close

Have a great weekend everyone. We’ll be back on Monday to smash those KPIs!

That’s us down here now. Loads of folk around, should be a good night. Didn’t realise it was fancy dress though. No sign of the man himself but his mum has very kindly paid us the 12 million quid he owes us on his behalf so it’s all sweet.

Bit of a coup for us, we've landed the gig running the bar for Prince Andrew's 66th birthday party tonight. Right, better get the van loaded and head down to Windsor!

Somebody please tell the BBC that if they want to speak to people who've *really* lost money investing in a brewery then our phone number's on our website.

Imagine going to all the effort of getting a fake blue plaque made just for a few social media clicks @corneliusbeers.bsky.social www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Look we've all had our fun but we all know this ends with him buying it back and doing another insufferable TikTok with the tax-efficient wife in red Make Brewdog Great Again caps so our only real hope is the Yellowstone supervolcano blowing up and ending civilisation before it can happen.

Hoping to pick up the giant slide and podcast studio in the liquidation auction.

We’re not huge rugby fans over here in Leith but it seems like a good time to say congratulations to all the Scotland fans down in Stockbridge and commiserations to all the England fans down in Stockbridge.

Had the pleasure of meeting Brewdog at a charity do once. They were surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.

Always a great pleasure to catch up with the legends of Leith @pilotbeer.co.uk

It’s been raining for longer than Liz Truss was Prime Minister.

Had a brewer phone in sick with dartitis?

Where did it all go wrong for us? Mostly due to a misunderstanding over the phone meaning when every other brewery cleaned up doing non-alcs for sober October we spent our entire cash reserve on noodles.

One thing we didn't anticipate when we started supplying Icons bar at Edinburgh Airport was that our glassware would *constantly* be getting nicked by pilots.

The 6 Nations starts this weekend so we'll have our branded boot cut jeans on sale in the brewery shop from tomorrow.

While this is an old article, we told Shadow Doge about ScotGov wasting an enormous amount of public money by giving to a brewery who spent it on a forest that died and they never got back to us so 🤷

Look we may not be the sharpest bulbs in the drawer but we are at least careful not to extensively document all our crimes.

Quick question, how much do C&C have to own before a brand doesn’t qualify as indie?

👀

Back in the whisky society on Queen Street but first - beer 🍺 @pilotbeer.co.uk

It's beginning to feel like handing the world to the techbros wasn't a great idea.

Hello. Are there any Google Business experts around? Google's extremely clever AI has decided to claim we have a pub quiz on tonight (we don't, it's tomorrow) and there's no obvious way to remove it (e.g. Posts, Events). Google's extremely clever AI assistant is no help either.

Every month should be dry. Big Bag Of Jans? No. Fe-Brew No Beer For Me-Ary! March Away From The Pub Aprilerol Spritz? No Thanks! Maybe Drink? Maybe Not June Know What I Don’t Fancy? A Pint July-ke Beer? No, Me Neither Nawgust Sept End Beer Sober October No Booze Vember Decide Not To Drink Ember

I’m heading to Scotland in March and Bluesky has given me 2 things to do just this morning - try some pochle (see below) and try @pilotbeer.co.uk’s Vessel restaurant in Edinburgh.

Taking the train to Edinburgh for a weekend away? Why not jump off at Waverley, swerve round JK Rowling shaking her fist furiously at the TransPennine Express, and take a 5 minute stroll up to Vessel for the best food and drink in town? vesselbars.co.uk

Setting up a pub 16 minutes from Sharron Davies' house.

Delighted to announce we’ve just installed two lines on Bear Grylls’ apocalypse-proof boat.

I WAS SAYING BOO-URNS

An important message to remember at this time of year is that a Scottish brewery is for life, not just for Burns Night.

Go on then, time for our Beckham story too: Sir David Robert Joseph Beckham (/ˈbɛkəm/ BEK-əm;[4] born 2 May 1975) is an English former professional footballer, the president and co-owner of Inter Miami CF and co-owner of Salford City.[5] Primarily a right midfielder and known for his range of passi

Some sympathy for Trump on the Nobel prize thing tbh. We once made up the Leith Brewers Association and announced we’d won their Best Brewer award then people started congratulating us and even though we knew it was total bullshit it still felt reeeeeal good.

Tried to become the Official Beer Partner of this but unfortunately due to a misunderstanding on the phone we are now the Official Beer Partner of NASA’s first crude mission to the bastard twatting moon.

Every time we break character to say something earnest on here we think it'll be the last time and then we inevitably go right back and do it again. It's like painting the Forth wall.

Apologies for the lack of #content on here recently, we've been receiving training from a former FBI agent.

Just ban us all from social media so we can draw a line under it and move on with our lives.

For some reason an estate agent was put in charge of selling the kit and at the start of the negotiation he went "I don't know anything about this sort of thing lads, what do you think it's worth?" and that is the one and only time in the history of Pilot that we won at business.

Here’s something interesting that isn’t even about Twitter for once. We bagged our brewkit from Fountainbridge nearly 15 years ago, and now we’ve brewed a Scotch Export using a historic yeast strain from, wink wink nudge nudge, another Fountainbridge brewery. pilotbeer.co.uk/collections/...

To explain this with a brewing analogy, it’s like if Tim Davie was in a brewery and the brewery was full of nothing but nazis and sex offenders and yet he decided to stay in the brewery to try to get the nazis and sex offenders to watch Countryfile for some reason.

On the plus side the other day someone in our office was talking about buying something and instead of "pull the trigger on it" he said "pull the triggle on it" and we've said very little else but that for 36 hours so maybe the world's not all bad.

Just seen Ricky Gervais posting one of his extremely funny vodka adverts along with a crying laughing emoji. 7 days into a new year and we've had world war 3 starting and now this new low. Really starting to feel like there's no way back for humanity.

Wish Trump would annex this stupid brewery.

Delighted to announce we’re the Official Beer Partner of The One Joke About The FIFA Peace Prize™

In better news though, 2026 really feels like the year craft beer is going to break through to the mainstream!

Good news everyone, the fascist sociopath has added a sexual assault generator to his website! At this point it’s fair to assume that any brewery / football team / MP / rando still using it actively supports these things.

2025, a year in review:

Aye, go on then, merry Christmas and suchlike.

HAPPY FESTIVE PERIOD FELLOW WOKES

Not being funny like but if you haven't been to Vessel yet what are you doing with your life?

Delighted to announce we’re the Official Beer Supplier™ of the Glasgow Celtic Christmas party