Petition to get the Americans to negotiate on behalf of landlords when agreeing new brewery rents.

This feels a lot like the time we got beaten to a marketing award by Brewdog and just claimed we’d won it anyway.

We will also not be sponsoring the Wireless Festival.

- Any plans for Good Friday, Dave? - Nope, going to come in to work. - Why though? You'll be the only one in in the entire Met Office. - No reason.

We haven't looked at Untappd in years and tbh the only thing we miss about it is being able to tell when we had beers on in Yorkshire whenever the "'Ow much for a pint???" reviews started coming in.

Apologies for the lack of #content on here recently, we've been interning at the Met Office naming storms.

Hi @joanireid.com and thanks for the orders. Just checking, they're both going to Faslane but to two different recipients, is that right?

Not that we're particularly curmudgeonly or anything but when we're in charge anyone responsible for a corporate or media April Fools gag will be first against the wall.

BACK - @pilotbeer.co.uk @cahonasscotland.bsky.social Check Pils. 4.6% abv. £2.90/33cl

The real reason we stopped fining and filtering our beer was so that whenever we see a picture of the rank twat Farage pretending to be a normal person and drinking a pint of something crystal clear we can be certain it’s not one of ours.

We all enjoy an IPA but would you believe no-one knows what IPA stands for? Lost in the mists of time.

Planning a 1980s Olympic swimming themed dark lager with a really nice rich colour. A dunkel good hue.

Lactose in an IPA is like Jimmy Carr in Last One Laughing.

Someone in our production planning meeting suggested an Easter beer and got arrested.

For those of you struggling to understand the BoE's imminent raising of interest rates to curb inflation driven by rocketing energy prices due to a senseless war, here’s a brewing analogy: imagine if us, a brewery, did something mind-numbingly stupid because we were bad at our jobs.

Good. Sick of celebrities stepping on our turf making booze. You don’t see us playing Barbie like Margot Robbie or being total cunts like Jeremy Clarkson.

Wish 20% of the world’s milkshake IPA went through the Strait of Hormuz.

We know times are tough but it's still sad to see Suzanne Vega getting in to the spamming game.

Lots of bad news this week so the nation could really do with a lift. Surely it's time for an update on the important work going on at Shadow Doge?

You have our full support in leaving as many crying laughing emojis as is humanly possible under whatever AI generated sob story he's about to post on there.

You have our full support in leaving as many crying laughing emojis as is humanly possible under whatever AI generated sob story he's about to post on there.

Wish we were being bought for 33 million quid.

World War III is obviously bad but judging by the orders this morning everyone properly decided to drink through it so swings and roundabouts really.

Delighted to announce we’re the Official Beer Partner of The One Joke About The FIFA Peace Prize™

Delighted to announce we’re the Official Beer Partner™ of laughing at that little shit Matt Goodwin.

Us: we’re looking for something we can add to a beer that will add absolutely nothing but will get stuck in your teeth for the next decade. Big Chia: lads, have we got the product for you!

Lol we weren’t even close

Have a great weekend everyone. We’ll be back on Monday to smash those KPIs!

That’s us down here now. Loads of folk around, should be a good night. Didn’t realise it was fancy dress though. No sign of the man himself but his mum has very kindly paid us the 12 million quid he owes us on his behalf so it’s all sweet.

Bit of a coup for us, we've landed the gig running the bar for Prince Andrew's 66th birthday party tonight. Right, better get the van loaded and head down to Windsor!

Somebody please tell the BBC that if they want to speak to people who've *really* lost money investing in a brewery then our phone number's on our website.

Imagine going to all the effort of getting a fake blue plaque made just for a few social media clicks @corneliusbeers.bsky.social www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Look we've all had our fun but we all know this ends with him buying it back and doing another insufferable TikTok with the tax-efficient wife in red Make Brewdog Great Again caps so our only real hope is the Yellowstone supervolcano blowing up and ending civilisation before it can happen.

Hoping to pick up the giant slide and podcast studio in the liquidation auction.

We’re not huge rugby fans over here in Leith but it seems like a good time to say congratulations to all the Scotland fans down in Stockbridge and commiserations to all the England fans down in Stockbridge.

Had the pleasure of meeting Brewdog at a charity do once. They were surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.

Always a great pleasure to catch up with the legends of Leith @pilotbeer.co.uk

It’s been raining for longer than Liz Truss was Prime Minister.

Had a brewer phone in sick with dartitis?

Where did it all go wrong for us? Mostly due to a misunderstanding over the phone meaning when every other brewery cleaned up doing non-alcs for sober October we spent our entire cash reserve on noodles.

One thing we didn't anticipate when we started supplying Icons bar at Edinburgh Airport was that our glassware would *constantly* be getting nicked by pilots.

The 6 Nations starts this weekend so we'll have our branded boot cut jeans on sale in the brewery shop from tomorrow.

While this is an old article, we told Shadow Doge about ScotGov wasting an enormous amount of public money by giving to a brewery who spent it on a forest that died and they never got back to us so 🤷

Look we may not be the sharpest bulbs in the drawer but we are at least careful not to extensively document all our crimes.

Quick question, how much do C&C have to own before a brand doesn’t qualify as indie?

👀

Back in the whisky society on Queen Street but first - beer 🍺 @pilotbeer.co.uk

It's beginning to feel like handing the world to the techbros wasn't a great idea.

Hello. Are there any Google Business experts around? Google's extremely clever AI has decided to claim we have a pub quiz on tonight (we don't, it's tomorrow) and there's no obvious way to remove it (e.g. Posts, Events). Google's extremely clever AI assistant is no help either.

Every month should be dry. Big Bag Of Jans? No. Fe-Brew No Beer For Me-Ary! March Away From The Pub Aprilerol Spritz? No Thanks! Maybe Drink? Maybe Not June Know What I Don’t Fancy? A Pint July-ke Beer? No, Me Neither Nawgust Sept End Beer Sober October No Booze Vember Decide Not To Drink Ember