Buddy, the lawyers and municipal-level guys ate this shit up from DHS because the median age of most given towns in places like Schkuykill county and anywhere in Berks county outside of Reading is like 74. Of course they got duped on this solving some kind of property tax problem! Fuckin oaf

Guys you gotta take reindeer organs

True story, I regularly mix up Crazy Rich Asians and Crazy Stupid Love as Crazy Stupid Asians, and that kinda just feels like the alternate first draft title of Everything Everywhere All At Once?

Trump shit his pants on national television, send skeet

From: Jeffrey Epstein To: Cain From The Bible Date: March 7th, 3000BC Subject: Re: Thinking of killing my brother? 👀👀 go for it it wouljld be extremlry sexy to invenf thr cornvept of murder snd yherefore curse mankind fur eternkity ;) ;)

The perfection of capitalism is oblivion. No conflict, no surprises, just sinking into the polished smooth depths of consuming what you're given and losing the capacity to even realize anything else is possible

They really have no fucking idea what is coming. No fucking idea.

Expect to see a lot of this classic Onion headline, from 23 years ago, over the coming weeks.

Mamdani: For too long, those fluent in the good grammar of civility have deployed decorum to mask agendas of cruelty

A growing body of research indicates that Texas's restrictive abortion bans have negatively impacted the health and lives of Texas women and babies in multiple ways. Across the board, pregnancy outcomes and complications have worsened.

They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab

six months ago Reader’s Digest asked if they could purchase the publishing rights for this elaborate shitpost I wrote a year ago now wherein I pretended to be the elf equivalent of David Brooks at the North Pole. Thought it was maybe a phishing scam but it’s real LMAOO

my festive spirit amidst our grimly stupid reality (2025)

The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5

So if anyone is confused by the statement that the Flyers just put out, this is apparently what happened last night. Lmao

Still convinced that Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" is about trying to find a missing cat

This is INCREDIBLE

The Grinch has passed away. His Tesla Cybertruck left the freeway at a high rate of speed and was wreathed in flame almost immediately, where The Grinch was incinerated like common refuse. He is survived by his brother, The Grunch, and his much younger live-in "protege," Maximilian.

game recognizes game

Going in super stoned with my fiancé last year for Dune Pt 2 and chanting “WORM! WORM! WORM!” to the best of the thumpers until Shai Hulud actually revealed itself and we were in awe in a mostly empty theater on a chilly, icy Tuesday night

Just what everybody wanted, Orwell retold by way of Mitt Romney

Kilmar Abrego Garcia is free. every bit of cruelty, boasting, slander, and persecution was for absolutely fucking nothing.

You couldn't waterboard something like this out of me

Jalen Hurts, just throw a temper tantrum. Just act like the biggest fuckin baby on the planet, I am begging you. Maybe that'll get Sirianni and Patullo's heads out of their asses and humble AJ enough out of his insufferable savior complex

Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things

We Need To Talk About Kevin (1990)

this has become a very important video to me

They are running the government according to the logic of right-wing grievance media. I cannot emphasize that enough. The point is to create content, and they don't see an actual difference between dunking on Sabrina Carpenter, passing legislation, and bombing other countries.

At least 40% of the book is just tortured descriptions of her surroundings.

This composition had eluded me for nearly a decade, but yesterday I was finally able to capture it. A train rolled through just as the Duquesne Incline was crossing over the tracks in #Pittsburgh, creating a picture perfect winter scene. It was worth the hours and hours I've waited over the years.

The guy shot two random people with a gun, I don't think you can say he wasn't assimilating into our culture

a left-of-center charles murray type who argues that we must stop blaming the myriad problems of southern whites on their diseased culture and instead accept that southern whites are genetically inferior

This Eagles game is awesome, you're not gonna find Cowboys getting killed this badly outside of a Cormac McCarthy novel

trump today

Y’all ever wonder if none of this would be happening if that one guy never tried to teach us all how to Dougie?

J6er Jake Lang got punched yesterday in Dearborn, Michigan during his anti-Muslim march.

buzzer beating alley-oop is the single coolest way to win a basketball game and I don’t see how you can even argue

So is Ezra Klein going to learn anything from Zohran winning and a dude like Andrew Cuomo eating shit, or...?

People fucking hate this guy. They fucking hate ICE. They fucking hate how much power he has. He is at 63% overall disapproval to 37% approval. That's lower than their poll after January 6th. And this poll was done before he started intentionally starving people. I wish our media would reflect this.

REV. BLACK (who was shot in the head with a pepper ball): “If this is what they’re doing to pastors, journalists, teachers, mothers, and the elderly gathered to sing and pray outside ICE facilities… what might they be doing to our neighbors who are behind those walls?”

i see you're doing something online that you have effortlessly done 100,000 times. would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? w

I saw a tragically AI-generated version of this poster, so I have recreated a 100% human-made version for all your protest sign needs.

Philly

MSNBC Grandmas in Skechers seamlessly reclaiming the frog from 4chan Nazis in about six weeks has gotta be the political upset of the century.

Trump's federal agents shot Marimar Martinez, a US citizen, multiple times for allegedly menacing them with her car in Chicago. Only hours later, Kristi Noem and DHS started spreading disinformation about the shooting. Now the official line is crumbling. 1/ (link) newrepublic.com/article/2019...