"And Tiny Tim, or Hawkin as he would be known by some, was condemned to live after all, to continue to carry the sign of bronze for another century until he was released from the geas by the Old One Scrooge, who had by then become known as become the merriest of men."

From me and mine to you and yours - have yourselves a merry little Christmas. x. 🎅

I've stuck randomly generated conspiracies onto Matt from the Telegraph's cartoons to create "Tinfoil Matt" (Not AI, me writing templates, the good old fashioned way to do these things with a strong degree of authorship.) Follow @tinfoil-matt.bsky.social NOW.

I was taught that a Chekhov's Gun is something that's mentioned at the start of a story to foreshadow something happening later on. But in 'Santa Baby', they mention a Chekov My Christmas List, and then it doesn't get mentioned again? Is Eartha Kitt just bad at storytelling?

We are ruled by a cabal of perverts who communicate with each other via unencrypted emails, where the subject line is often stuff like, "the kids escaped from the van again"

He's m ng ist He’s check ice He find ou naught ice Norman Collier is comi town

Seeing as it’s Festivus.. Original framed watercolour portrait of Frank Costanza during the Festivus ‘airing of grievances’ from the classic Seinfeld episode. Originally produced for a Spoke Art Seinfeld tribute show in New York in 2019. Approximately 31 x 25cm. £60 jonathanestore.bigcartel.com

If you pay attention to any large industry long enough and follow it to its logical conclusion you eventually end up sounding like a communist even if you started off testing CPU case fans. youtu.be/cUrJVdF2me0?...

My son hates 6Music and does a very good impression of the DJs with some made up band with a stupid name. I always tell him he’s being daft but we got in the car the other day to this and frankly I didn’t have a leg to stand on

In these challenging times someone might need one of them: Childline: 0800 1111 Samaritans: 116 123 Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247 Mind: 0300 123 3393 Age UK: 0800 169 6565 Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650 Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677 MH text support: 85258

I realise this is completely the wrong time of day to post it (will boost in the morning), but for anyone who would like a traditional 9 Lessons and Carols service, this was ours on Sunday evening. youtu.be/wsq1cIDlJGU?...

!! Here’s a link to full video of the 60 Minutes segment that Bari Weiss killed last minute, via @jasonparis.bsky.social: is.gd/paU8Ko (It was uploaded to the Global TV app in Canada, seemingly by accident, and has now been taken down)

Get this. Yes, it's quite expensive compared to a lot of shinier, bigger stuff, but this is real fuckin' art that will speak to every child of the 70s, kids or not.

You may say that the stupidly longly titled Who spin-off was far too long and didn't deliver, but James Cameron is in the process of spending about ten thousand times more to say (as far as I can tell) far less and he's not even halfway through. I liked it, despite its flaws.

Oh, that's today! Almost now, even!

Parisot (the Director) tells a story about how Tim Allen just started crying after a scene one day "I don't like these feelings i'm having." Says Tim. "I'm going back to my trailor" and walks off. There's silence for a second. "Oh my god." Says Rickman. "I think Tim just experienced acting."

HMV have Ghostwatch DVD for a tenner, lads.

Wasn’t sure whether to make this a festive thing or save it for next Moevember. So I did neither.

I’m reminded of watching two old ladies ask a teenage goth for directions and she politely told them and when she was out of earshot one lady said “You know where you are with a goth”

People say the avatar is too long but it's the perfect length to enjoy some delicious fresh stew in the third act, and all you need is a power bank and a usb slow cooker

As someone born and raised outside the UK I don't think I'll ever fully understand how easy some (apparently liberal) Englander folks find it to belittle and condescend to any discussion of politics outside England itself. Even being proud of their ignorance of it.

1333) Tatbot. Need a last minute Christmas gift? Just some random crap that you can wrap up and they can go "ooh, lovely" and never look at again? Tatbot has you covered: it's filled with boxes and boxes of Christmas tat that no one really wants.

Last-minute gig idea! A knock-off VHS that looks a bit like a classic Disney cartoon:

Please make sure your herls are derked, as is the tradition

Cocteaus Xmas joke cancelled there because I missed a line out. Probably for the best.

The Telegraph here advocating an surprisingly aggressive response to unwanted Christmas gifts.

An absolutely magnificent Freudian slip! 🤌🏼

❄️ It's the mooost wonderful tiiiime of the yeeeeaaar... ❄️ Prints: www.ciaraioch.com/artprints/p/...

Rare footage of St Paul’s Cathedral testing its giant flamethrower

You don't hear much about Richard Spencer these days, do you?

to add to the Jake Paul schadenfreude, Andrew Tate also lost a fight to some reality TV influencer. most analysis of the fight I've read described his opponent as deeply untalented but Andrew lost anyway. Tate's endurance was awful and he was gassed after the first round.

Not that I know anything at all about boxing but Paul as loser past and Tate as loser present implies, I dunno, Miller as loser to come.

Scarier than any MR James.

🚨 The @scottishgreens.org have delivered a £2 bus fare cap for the Highlands and Islands! Starting early next year, single fares will be capped at £2 for a year across Shetland, Orkney, Eilean Siar, Highland, Moray and most of Argyll & Bute! Take the bus, save the planet 💪🌍

Man, this system of oligarchs using their control of the press to push an agenda is really worrying. I hope the Daily Mail pursues this story further.

For example, here, what do we think would happen to a junior copy editor at the Observer who started being too vocal and asking too many questions about why they had been advised never to be alone with Nick Cohen, in the period 2002-2022? Is it "lauded for their bravery"?

I dunno, but I feel like spending three months focusing every single day on what might be in the spoending review, then three months on what was in it then three months speculating about the Budget and another three months on what was in it is not the best use of time, paper and ink right now.

I've just realised what that MP's pabulum about Britain reminds me of.

In Edinburgh this weekend? Pop down to La Belle Adventure at 225 Leith Walk to check out the work of all of our fantastic winners and nominees for 2025! 🦭

1998 was such a dreadful year for pop music.

@gregk.co.uk and I recorded a Christmas special of @bloodwork.show where we went from 14th century Christian Mysticism, to Kier Starmer watching Arsenal, to building a Time Machine to suck off JFK It’s 2 hours long, and it’s coming on Tuesday As always, listen to @bloodwork.show Love ya, xoxo

And the great thing is that it doesn't damage Spaced because he played a horrible git in that.

As a former editor of Popbitch – and the proud owner of a legal letter sent by HarperCollins, accusing me of being "highly likely to cause serious harm to [their former star client]’s reputation both as an individual and author” – may I just say: GET IT RIGHT UP YE

I dunno, you go for a quick nap and wake up to find the publishing world has suddenly said out loud what everyone else suspected for about a decade.

In 2023, seismologists detected a “global hum” originating in Greenland that lasted for 9 days. A rockslide triggered a 200m-high tsunami that sloshed back & forth in a fjord every 90 seconds, slamming into the fjord’s walls “like a beating heart”. [youtube.com]