I once asked a priest to bless a printer that I was in the middle of fighting with and he went "I only bless things when there's a chance it'll take" and then turned and walked out of the room.

I spoke with my old friend Mitch McConnell for almost twenty minutes and we played this funny little game we always play where I poke him with a stick repeatedly and he doesn’t react at all. Oh that Mitch!

“…spoke to…” Glendower: I can call the spirits from the vasty deep. Hotspur: Why, so can I, or so can any man; But will they come, when you do call for them?

Explain this, humankind

Maybe it IS too dangerous to wear a watch in London if you swan round wearing a £10k Rolex or a £25k Patek Philippe, but those of us who DON’T have two billionaire sugar daddies on the go can walk round safely with our perfectly serviceable but not-worth-nicking Casios and Sekondas…

I don’t suppose anyone wants a notebook? 🤷‍♀️ ko-fi.com/loreandordur...

Technically, all real-life games of chess are 4D chess.

mitch mcconnell is brain dead. the USA were humiliated in the world cup. nigel farage just shat his pants on national television. a dark covenant has been made. pray for the soul who gave us this sacrifice.

Australian fans chant at World Cup match with US: “We get to go home, you’re stuck here” (reported by NYTimes) says more than a hundred surveys of public perceptions of life in US

wow, discord acknowledged on the Bad Place that it was true that an overfitted CSAM detection AI started flagging grids (spreadsheets, game inventory screenshots, etc) as illegal and instabanning people. 8200 people got banned this way over several weeks before someone managed to get their […]

The terrible truth about cyber security is that it's 99% execution of things that aren't remotely secret, it's literally it's in the documentation. They will just beg you to do it. And nobody does. The special sauce you add after that impossible hurdle you get paid on is for the Chinese military.

Those of us born between 1982 and 1990 are like the day shift showing up after the night shift got high in the freezer rather than cleaning anything, and our problems just keep compounding as we try hopelessly to catch up

I've said this before but during my extremely long sessions my very nice tattoo artist said that her policy on Nazi tattoos was that she would only put them on your face

It's been over a year... But my friend saw him in a shop and bought him for me! I have acquired the snail!!!

There's a part in the book "Careless People" where the author beats Zuck at Settlers of Catan, and he is absolutely wrecked by it. Someone pulls her aside to explain everyone else has been letting him win for years. I think about this a lot re: why tech bros think everyone will love AI chatbots.

Evergreen.

Bomb disposal technician who pioneered 'just cut the blue wire man, come on, it's got to be right at least 50% of the time' method now says phrase 'unhelpful' www.theguardian.com/society/2026...

People who don’t wither as soon as the mercury rises above 20 degrees Celsius are having an absolute blast, it has been rumoured.

I don't really like this current age of overconsumption of plastic tat from Amazon and Temu but I did find it hilarious that people were publicly and loudly doing major declutters, getting rid of everything, during the 2010s Marie Kondo craze and then 2020 hit and they were stuck in their bare homes

Saw this ad for a goat on Facebook. It’s perhaps the greatest advert I’ve ever read. It’s just superb.

2024. I was thinking, "I'd like an illustration of a quintessentially Dorset conical tree-topped hill with a Pagan sun above it for my new novel." Hadn't mentioned this to my mum & she hadn't read the book yet. Went into her workroom. Found this... www.tom-cox.com/an-artists-e...

2/ It will be interesting to see if the Sunday Times can shed any light on exactly why Farage's LeaveEU associate Andy Wigmore forwarded documents about Cottrell's US arrest to Sergey Fedichkin, "third secretary" at Russia's London embassy. I can think of only one likely explanation.

It’s usually because the video calling app has suddenly decided that I need to confirm my password and demands it in such a way that the system password manager can’t fill it in for me, so I have to dig it out manually and paste it in.

Happy 78th Birthday to the NHS 🥳 Nye Bevan’s vision of universal healthcare became reality on 5 July 1948 "Illness is neither an indulgence for which people have to pay, nor an offence for which they should be penalised, but a misfortune, the cost of which should be shared by the community"

I was born in 1962 so for me, the amazing changes in those ten years were just the way the world was. I have to say, the fifty-odd years since have been something of a let-down!

1962 and 1972 were different planets. As far as I can tell from looking at crowd photos, everything changed in 1965. I haven't worked out which weekend it was yet.

Could someone please explain to the @nytimes.com that if we stopped to celebrate every country that has broken free from our tyrannical grasp, we’d never get any work done. www.nytimes.com/2026/07/04/w...

Just as you're going "This can't get any worse" that fucking punchline hits lmao

Lovely bit of Disambiguation here

Listening to a bunch of Finnish writers complaining bitterly about having to decide what gender their characters are before they can be translated

Paige Thomas, 28 – who finally received her autism diagnosis last week after three years on an NHS waiting list – described the development as “in your face, Becky!”

Important July Dates. 3 Disobedience Day 6 Fried Chicken Day 6 Kissing Day 7 Chocolate Day 8 Video Game Day 13 Geeks Day 14 Nude Day 14 Shark Awareness Day 14 Pandemonium Day 15 Hot Dog Day 17 Ice cream Day 17 Emoji Day 24 Tequila Day 31 Avocado Day

Good morning, we are now in the second half of 2026.

My mom is mad at my dad because a feral peacock keeps coming to their house and staring through the glass door into the kitchen and it turns out it's because my dad has been secretly feeding it

In 1985, Neil Postman in Amusing Ourselves to Death, asked: who got the future right, Orwell or Huxley? Orwell feared a boot on our face. Huxley feared we'd be too distracted to notice there was a boot at all. In 2026, the answer is in. Thread 🧵 #r4today

I'm sure some business spokesman will be along any minute to tell us how it's going to cost the economy when everyone phones in sick on Monday, like they do when the tubes go on strike. Any minute now.

u ever had to unfollow someone on socials specifically because you don’t know them well enough to tell them that they’re the problem in a lot of their stories

This is like the guy who bought the place I used to live in and begrudgingly agreed to only put the rent up 80%, on the understanding that he’d have to revisit the matter after six months. Or, if I preferred, he could give me a Section 21 notice to be out in two months; it was entirely my choice!

When Leo permitted a TLM in St Peter’s, some thought he was going soft on the traddies. I figured that this was the velvet glove, the “work with me, guys”. Now we see the other half of the Chicago equation.

SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN, MOTHERFUCKERS

OH MY GOD GUYS okay so priests who want back in have to find a bishop willing to vouch for them, swear fealty to Vatican II and then HAND-WRITE THE POPE AN APOLOGY LETTER (I gues so he knows they didn’t use AI? 😂) and are on probation for 1-3 years this is ten times spicier than I even thought

getting called a Christian might be the single funniest thing to happen to me on a computer my brother from Christ have you met many Christians whose first name is a Hindu god and whose last name declares that they serve a different Hindu god

(shouting): 'It's a portmanteau of "Robot" & "Copper", the latter from the Latin capere meaning to take, the former from the Czech robotnik meaning an indentured peasant. He embodies the ideal end state of technofeudalism'

This is especially true if a man is built like a threatened anteater. Miller has relatively narrow shoulders and wide hips, which means there's not much shape through the torso.

“The frontier of 2026, the stuff the sharpest people are most excited about, is render the HTML on the server, ship almost no JavaScript, and use the web platform instead of fighting it.” davidpoblador.com/deep-dives/t...

"Pokemon" is short for "pocket monsters". "Digimon" is short for "digital monsters". Therefore, "salmon" is short for "saltwater monsters". (You might object: salmon spend a big part of their life in freshwater. But pokemon spend a big part of their life outside pockets too!)

some amazing things happening over on threads — ever since they “shut down CERN”