Two Man U fans have each bought me a birthday drink so I’m sorry but I hope Villa lose.

Happy Sunday!

You certainly can trust people born on December 21st! 🎉🥳🎂🎈

Such a great game, I highly recommend it!

Bindun?

Jake’s probably lucky that he didn’t actually get to meet Hulk Hogan after the match.

I bet the Epstein Files have a lot of dirt on some guy called Dredacted Tredacted.

Now whenever a celebrity does something athletic for charity, there will be questions.

An unserious jibe I made about London tap water has started a discourse. Oh what fun. Hitting that Mute Thread option like AJ hitting a YouTuber’s jaw.

Aw, isn’t that swell?

Happy New Meme everybody! 🥳

How on Earth did someone this stupid get a doctorate?

Fair play to Kylie; a bona fide pop star with a new, original song that’s actually about Xmas becoming the UK Christmas Number One? It’s been a while!

Depends on whether it means the year I turned 10 or the week I did. Two very different outcomes…!

Jeffrey Epstein meets Kenny from South Park.

If there was a nuclear holocaust all that would remain would be cockroaches, Tupperware and Keith Richards.

It’s Edvard Munch’s Home Alone

Wowzer that Palace goal 😮 #CRYKUP

Dump constantly reminds of this line from Game of Thrones:

“preserve the dignity of your office” is hilarious. Ah yes, the hitherto unblemished elegance of the world’s classiest billionaire-president.

Nice try, Herod, not falling for that one.

Watched a film tonight 🤘🏼

The end of the sellotape when you’re trying to find it:

If you get into a beef with MTG and she’s the sane one then there truly is no hope for you.

When did people start calling Christmas jumpers “ugly”? I mean we’ve always thought they were ugly but seems like in the last few years it seems it’s become an official term for them.

Probably good not to get a nice epitaph from a predatory nonce.

Bring back the orange octagon! I liked it when it was obvious which orange Quality Street sweet was crunchy and which was creamy.

Horrible news from Australia 🇦🇺😢

Happy 100th birthday **** Van ****!

My mother has this taped to the door of one of her bathrooms

You are telling me there’s scotch in this egg?

Our 'A' Team

🦆 Duck season! Rabbit season! 🐰

Our Airwolf

“Same as the others, O’Neill. The flippers, the fishbowl, the frog, the lights, the armor. ... Just one question remains: Is this the work of our guy, or a copycat?”

“This time Netflix are the better of two evils.”

Well that’s my New Year’s Eve party outfit sorted 🐰

You will be visited by three spirits.

🎶 It’s the most terrible ad of the year 🎶

They hired Kelsey Grammer to be a villain but he actually meant every word of this:

Past the point of no return.

The UK and Ireland trailer for The Day the Earth Blew Up A Looney Tunes Movie which is coming out in theaters on February 13th 2026!

Saw a video on YT that was suggesting that the Texan cities of Austin and San Antonio could merge, as they are only 79.5 miles apart from each other. For context, that’s a similar distance as Carlisle to Edinburgh.

Never heard it called an “Irish exit” before; “backdoor boogie” is used around here.

As one of the three World Cup 2026 cohosts, you would expect the USA to be in either Group A, B or C. Having them in D makes no sense until you remember the egotist who wants the whole event to be all about him and whose name begins with a D.