Andrew is a sort of non-prince now, a… well, I’m sure there’s some sort of portmanteau word that would describe him well.

The Andrew formerly known as Prince.

You keep telling yourself that.

“Well, I don’t think so, but I’ll ask. Hey, Arlene! Anyone turn in a human brain left here yesterday? … He says it was medium-sized, sort of bluish-gray.”

Uh-oh, Nancy’s packing heat!

Adverts should be representative of traditional British families

Money for Nothing came on my phone and my so-called “smart” phone couldn’t figure out why I’m tapping the back of my phone.

NYT games admitting its inspiration here?

The bellend will probably add another 20% points if Toronto wins the World Series. 🇨🇦⚾️

Found some old CDs of mine at my parents’ house. Everybody still loves P Diddy and Roisin Murphy, right? (Could be worse, I used to have some albums by a certain recently deceased Welshman’s band but I think we sold them off a while ago)

Some very Australian hairstyles on display. #EngAus #RLAshes

⚽️ Win for Bolton 😁 🏉 Now c’mon England! #RLAshes

What’s the opposite of disappointment, when you already don’t like somebody and then find out there’s a whole new reason to dislike them?

They came back to win 2-1 so looks like they’ll be dancing in the streets of Go Ahead after all!

They won’t be dancing in the streets of Go Ahead if they fail to make a comeback against Villa.

Fair play to the Frankfurt fans for staying to the end despite losing at home to Liverpool 1-5. Last night the Emirates was half empty when Arsenal were winning 4-0.

I imagine if you asked for a skull and crossbones tattoo you’d probably get something akin to the Jolly Roger 🏴‍☠️, unless you are *very specific*.

Time to burn it down again, lads. 🇬🇧🇨🇦

🎶 Lady in dread 🎶

Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only.

The British right 🤝 The American left for some reason “Curry isn’t British food”

baa dat DAH! BA DAH dat dah!

not only does Gary Larson still have the juice, it seems to have only gotten stronger

Happy Sinners Day to all who celebrate.

Sick of seeing this posh guy lecture people on how to eat anything.

Congrats to England on qualifying for the 2026 World Cup in Mexico, Canada and that other country! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇲🇽🇨🇦

Feeling rotten today 😷🤒

“Well alreet, well alroot, well alright!”

If anyone needs me I will be in the museum, lying down next to the bog bodies.

It’s worth remembering that: A) Anybody who shared a jail with Watkins is also a wrong-un and has victims of their own. And B) Nobody actually killed Watkins. He obviously died by accidentally going into a blade. Gosh, what a tragedy.

One more nonce in Hell. Rot In Piss Ian “Not the one from Steps” Watkins.

C’mon Wigan Warriors! 🏉🍒🥧

“Vegan tampons?? Real men use MEATY tampons!” - Farage, probably.

I didn’t include the US flag because they don’t have a PM/equivalent and would probably be more impressed than shocked.

The Power of Love (FGTH) 7/10 The Power of Love (Jennifer Rush) 7/10 The Power of Love (HLATN) 11/10

Imagine thinking Johnny Cash can seem in any way uncool.

Just found out that Garfield was assassinated on a Monday (19 September 1881). No wonder he hated Mondays!

Cool, what’s the catch?

I’m guessing “clear skies” is one of the things you need so that’s me not seeing it.

Oh hey I recognise that face! (It’s Strand Street, Whitehaven)

Me when Phil Collins sings “Something Happened on the Way to Heaven” in Something Happened on the Way to Heaven.

Thanks Spelling Bee, but I’m not sure that chat-up line will work.