Just try to be like a 1% better parent each day. That’s all you can do really

Puppy just witnessed a hit and run

I’m hanging in there despite the fact that I’ve had the song from Wii playing in my head for the last 20 years

My Kid: (on a road trip to Wisconsin) Wait! It doesn't smell like farts here! Me: Why would you think it would smell like farts? My Kid: because it's Wisconsin. I thought they cut a lot of cheese here... Me:

(blocking everyone on marketplace who posts shoes without the size in the title)

Me: (watching my kid stay out using a cellphone) You know, back in my day, you couldn't program in "contacts" to a cellphone. You actually had to remember the phone number. My Kid: If you forgot, did you ask a dinosaur for help?

We have already answered this question

Went to Menards today to pick up specialty light bulbs and a cap for my sprinkler system. The bulbs didn't work revealing it's a light fixture issue, and the cap didn't fit despite being listed as the right size. Does this still count as sufficient adulting for the day?

Anybody familiar with Gryfe's Bagels from Toronto? I took a stab at recreating their bagel style. Pretty delicious for a first attempt. #Toronto #bagels #baking

Did Nutella rolls for the first time. First time also doing anything cinnamon roll style with a tangxiong. It turned out well!! The rolls were fluffy and were a hit. Pictured before and after adding vanilla glaze and extra chocolate chips. #Baking

My 8yo: (playing a video game) cool! My Pokemon is at level 61 Me: if that Pokemon gets 6 levels higher, do not tell your brother at any cost 8yo: why can't I... (Doing the math in her head)... Oh

#WingsForLife was amazing!! Thanks to all the volunteers at Boom Island, Minneapolis, MN and everywhere for putting this on!! To all the runners around the World still going... LET'S GOOOOOO!!!

Tomorrow is #WingsForLife World Run, so tonight's carbo loading includes some Hokkaido rolls and soft baked pretzels (recipes via Kwok Spots and Sally's Baking Addiction, respectively) #Baking #Breadsky

NEW COMIC: Emergency Wardrobe Change #MayThe4thBeWithYou #StarWarsDay #MayTheFourthBeWithYou#StarWars#MayThe4thStarWars #MayThe4th

Me on my way to get Taco Bell at 2:17 in the morning

There are 2 types of cats

New Parent: Help! I lost my kid's diaper bag while we were playing at the park! I can't find it anywhere! Me: What did I specifically tell you about buying camouflage diaper bags...

Me: I will be a fair parent who will not ground my kids for frivolous reasons. My Kid: (sees me sipping my third cup of coffee this morning) Hey, Dad! You drink too much coffee! Me: Go to your room!!!

A comic about being mean! BONUS Panel below! 👇

BREAKING 🚨: the hang in there cat let go

My kid is trying to think of a team name and wants to name it after something fierce, intimidating, and kind of scary, so he went with The Geese, and I think that absolutely nails it...

(snuggling with my cat when she gets a look in her eye) are you about to bite me cat: prrhaps

Give me a hit of that high fructose corn syrup.

My Kid: Dad, why is the long name for flu "influenza" if it doesn't influence anything? Me: it wasn't called "Influenza" because it has influence My Kid: Oh? Me: it's because it's the arch nemesis of Outfluenza My Kid: Me: My Kid: This is why I didn't let you help with my science homework!!!

Michael Beggs Bay of Fires Tasmania East Coast Tasmania Australia

If anyone would like to see a photo of a cat that wishes it was a red panda, this is your lucky day. #Caturday

Me: I'm going to go handle that spider in the 12yo's room. Wife: Why do you have the deed to our house? Me: I was going to sign it over to the spider, and we move out. Wife: Me: That's how I handle spiders...

My Kid: Dad, can I have a snack? Me: sure, buddy Kid: (looking in pantry) what should I have Me: how about a granola... Kid: I wasn’t talking to you. Me: 😳

A comic about teamwork!

A comic about Kitten Fran! BONUS Panel below! 👇

The aurora at the same time as a lunar eclipse was occurring over Fairbanks, Alaska

My Kid: (On a toy cell phone) Hey! You! Buy me more clothes! Now! Me: What're you doing? My Kid: Hanging a pretend phone call with Mom. Me: (Taking away phone) go to your room and pretend to be grounded for pretending to talk to Mom that way.

NEW COMIC: Spring Clean This comic wrote itself!

Dads be like: I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk. Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…

If I can just make it until April 11th, the date of the Pimento Cheese Festival, I might be okay

Wife: do that thing I like Me: (eats my potato chips in a different room, so my wife doesn't have to hear me loudly crunching them)