A truly winsome throupling!

NO MORE NEW BAD STUFF! 👎

If you haven't read The Wind in the Willows and you think you know what it's about, let me tell you — you are wrong as HELL. It's the weirdest kids' book I've ever read, but @eleanormorton.bsky.social loves it. New episode of Eleanor & Alasdair Read that out today! linktr.ee/readthat

A vintage ABK sketch to plug my UK tour. KING OF CRUMBS starts this Saturday! Come along for more nonsense like this. www.mickperrin.com/tours/alasdair-beckett-king-king-of-crumbs

I regularly see people wondering how it's possible that there are so many musicians and writers and film makers and artists from a tiny nation like Iceland. And the answer is really simple: State funding for art education and artists. I literally get a salary from the government to write books.

It is the year of the horse! What better time to TRY AND STRANGLE ONE? Finally it's your chance to get your big stranglin' mitts on that thick, thick equine neck and squeeze the devil out of it in this 13,500+ word comedy choose your own adventure. Free to play! brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...

Bos en Lommerweg, Amsterdam in 1976 and today. Outside this supermarket space given to car parking has been replaced by bike parking and a protected cycle track. Most customers now arrive by bike, not by car. Design your streets for the traffic you want

Manfluencerbro @thejazzemu.bsky.social has the answers

Wow, now that's a picture. If only women aged 18-59 could vote in the UK parliament.

25% off my second book at Waterstones when you pre-order with the code FEB26 www.waterstones.com/book/get-ahe...

I’m running a one-off Arvon online masterclass next month… Come along and we’ll take the spanners to some comedy. March 27th. Link here: www.arvon.org/writing-cour...

It's easy to be concerned about vaccines when you stop being concerned about viruses. You can only stop being concerned about viruses in a world with vaccines.

New music video out on YOUTUBE! Pre-save my forthcoming album here: snd.click/qda8

What’s your excuse? youtu.be/BYC-RGXgLRM?...

Vic Reeves & @bobmort.bsky.social made a very strong case for the BBC License Fee…

I’ve shared some of the remarkable intersection transformations in Barcelona’s “superblock” program many times before, usually as an example of taming cars in cities, and place-making. But as @thetransitguy.com’s before-and-after illustrates, they’re also about greening, cooling & cleaning the city.

Are you on our mailing list? WHY NOT?! I mean, you don't have to but it's the best way to find out about guaranteed sell-out gigs before anyone else (like next week's with Joe Lycett). We send one email a week (unless I forget), and you can sign up here xsmalarkey.us9.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=...

Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor — at least no one worth speaking of.

This Brazilian woman hates AI

Plans for an integrated public transport system in the Peak District. BBC News - 'Mini Switzerland' plan for Peak District transport network - BBC News www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Did you know Leicester Comedy Festival is operated by registered charity Big Difference Company? Bridging The Gap supports comedians from underrepresented groups in performing at Leicester Comedy Festival 👏 Showcase tickets - https://events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/bridging-the-gap-2/

Eggbox returns in May! Big plans currently afoot for Eggbox, and we've got some great stuff programmed for this one already, so get booking! www.pleasance.co.uk/event/eggbox

They're going to let the only trusted—and trustworthy—part of the BBC die.

The entire UK diplomatic budget is about £1.4 billion a year. That’s pretty much precisely 0.1% of government spending. BBC World Service is about £0.25 billion (it should be higher), or 0.02%. These are rounding errors on rounding errors. Double each and public expenditure wouldn’t twitch. Mad.

One serious benefit to the fact that it's impossible to electrify these things (the whole operational model, not just the HGV) is that logistics in rural areas might scale back down to fit the infrastructure.

BBC's Arabic radio service in Lebanon closed after 85 years as part of a £28.5m savings drive. 'Just months later, in October 2023, the Russian state-owned Sputnik news agency took over the frequency. Its news bulletin opened with “This is Moscow”, replacing the previous “This is London” intro.' 🙄

Heard this one? The City of Barcelona traded 3 lanes of vehicle traffic for an exceptional 4.7km green pedestrian corridor in the heart of the Eixample grid. Businesses sued, & eventually won in court. Then they admitted that they actually like the change. Streets for people are good for business.

I think it's wrong to describe the World Service as "soft power". It's actually "info power". And these days that's a very hard form of power indeed.

the loss of the World Service would be a tragedy and huge lost of soft power for Britain

Take a tour of the new cycle parking below Berlin's Potsdamer Platz. Designed for utility, sport, electric and cargo bikes, it enables a smooth transition to public transport, while taking a disused and uncomfortable private retail corridor and reimagining it as a safe and inviting community space.

Berlin, like many cities, is facing an oversupply of retail space, and developers are experimenting with new uses. Bike parking has emerged as a particularly compelling option, as it requires less structural modification, generates steady demand, and aligns with municipal goals to encourage cycling.

I will not ride at dawn. That’s way too early

Rapide avant / après la rue aux écoles Rue de Belzunce dans le 10ème arrondissement de Paris. Elle est pleine d’enfants ce samedi malgré le froid.

This is blackout poetry to me

Anne Bronte's book signing www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VXn...

SOS save the #bbcworldservice ‘Perhaps Britain’s greatest gift to the world”in the 20th century’: Kofi Annan. Money runs out in 7 weeks. No plan. Pls lobby YvetteCooperMP Lisa Nandy, Keir Starmer John Healey MP Please Email: [email protected] [email protected]

such a lovely cool little documentary on the sound design in Bluey

This is tomorrow! Then I'll stop posting about it booking.monkeybarrelcomedy.com/monkey-barre...

We’re open for entries for the 2026 @buxtonfringe.bsky.social - apply now at underthefringe.com

Artist: brb https://b3ta.com/board/11425460

Coenderstraat, Delft. A simple looking junction, but the more you look, the more you see the Dutch Sustainable Safety design approach in action. Everyone moves in their clear space on the main road, interactions are managed, and people have priority in the side street, Westerstraat. #FridayFun

Happy birthday to one of my favourite haters, Charles Darwin

Audience Member Makes Really Cool Noise

Cycle infrastructure in the Netherlands. The cycleway continues across the side road, clearly signalling that drivers must give way. At the roundabout, both the cycleway and pedestrian crossings have priority, so motorists yield again. Simple design, clear rules, safer streets.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM CRAIG! Eleanor & Pals, tonight at 11.15pm and then available on BBC Sounds www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvaH...

I cannot give enough kudos to the We Rate Dogs account for their clear explanation of this issue and for using their *enormous* platform to educate people.

Eerste Jacob van Campenstraat, Amsterdam in 1992 and today

“children are not choosing to stay off the streets and parents are not choosing to be helicopters; our streets are choosing to exclude children” From @urbancyclinginstitute.org

People of Britain! This Wednesday you can catch my R4 special Eleanor & Pals, a character comedy show starring me and Zara Gladman, and featuring everyone's favourite sad man, Craig! www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

Cities will micromanage an e-bike, but are fine with multi-ton cars being beta tested on our streets by remote workers overseas. Make it make sense.