One of us always stands the other always lies

iambic tetrameter ass stick

KEANU REEVES [grieving]: Woe

Another reminder of this simple but useful guidance

The news

In these days of wild weather and heavy rain, my message to all of you out there is: Drive slowly you stupid cunts you are soaking pedestrians

Billy Bowden was the worst possible rhino to happen to world cricket. What a dickhead.

Sketch for “Composition II” by Vasily Kandinsky, 1909 https://botfrens.com/collections/212/contents/137333

I enjoy watching American sports but also I find it extremely embarassing for everyone involved.

It's my birthday today. I am 50. 50! Jesus fucking Christ. Ah well. What can you do?

Unexpected. But fair enough.

Another free cross stitch pattern available on our site, designed by my wife Hannah: www.hobbies2me.com/products/luc... If you're in mainland UK you can buy threads etc from us too.

As Gregor Samsa woke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into some kind of young conservative.

Good news for anyone interested in fucking a printer

Good news for anyone interested in fucking a printer

Someone had to have the balls to say it

They call them the Far Right but I actually think they are the Far Wrong

My wife and I went to one of those parties where you all put your car keys in a bowl and then we all ate a delicious bowl of car keys

robot hams

When oh when will someone have the guts to publish a novel with an off-white or cream front cover with a coloured border that features black and red text with one word capitalised, perhaps the word MURDER, along with an illustration of an animal or a bowl of fruit or a train or something

Son's end of term Rocksteady performance Son's end of term Rocksteady performance Son's end of term Rocksteady performance Son's end of term Rocksteady performance Son and daughter's end of term Rocksteady performance

When oh when will someone have the guts to publish a novel with an off-white or cream front cover with a coloured border that features black and red text with one word capitalised, perhaps the word MURDER, along with an illustration of an animal or a bowl of fruit or a train or something

DID YOU KNOW? There is now more time between today and the Beatles breaking up than there was between the Beatles breaking up and the birth of Christ

DID YOU KNOW? There is now more time between today and the Beatles breaking up than there was between the Beatles breaking up and the birth of Christ

Q. Who chases her child A. Susan Sontag

Dog shit in the streets is back, baby! After years of namby-pamby nanny state do-gooders making us feel like we should clean up after our pets, FINALLY the tide has turned and we are EMPOWERED to leave our dog turds all over the pavement! Suck on it, pedestrians! Get a car you dickheads!

The other day when I went to collect my 8 year old daughter from a friend's house, she was wearing a hi vis vest and a black headband with a lacy veil. I asked her who she was dressed up as and she explained she was a lollipop lady who had recently been widowed.

DOCTOR [with stethoscope]: This may be a little cold PATIENT: It's ok DOCTOR: You're really ugly

I'm not sure there's anyone I admire more than Chris Knox. Bandcamp has a decent overview of his music career here: daily.bandcamp.com/lists/chris-...

DOCTOR [with stethoscope]: This may be a little cold PATIENT: It's ok DOCTOR: You're really ugly

The deranged shitness of hanging a flag outside your house

No, I won't excuse you

When I was in 8th grade my school put out a "literary magazine" and my favorite contribution was a poem by a 4th grader named P. DiMauro that went: "I'm bigger So you have to do What I say" Anyway I think that kind of sums up the day's news

I have one of those faces

The books I've enjoyed reading most in 2025 include: The Moustache by Emmanuel Carrère - A fantastic, closely observed and disquieting portrait of a mind spiralling out of control, catalysed by the decision to shave off a moustache.

My 2026 new year's resolution is to become part of a throuple: a threatening couple

My 2026 new year's resolution is to become part of a throuple: a threatening couple

You have the right to remain salient

The books I've enjoyed reading most in 2025 include: The Moustache by Emmanuel Carrère - A fantastic, closely observed and disquieting portrait of a mind spiralling out of control, catalysed by the decision to shave off a moustache.

I am interested in this sport

Merry Christmas dickheads

Hell Or High Water is on iplayer, an excellent movie

humans are the animal that finds it hardest to get to sleep (not counting sheep)

Never cover a judge in books

Basic dumbass. Looks like shit. Often mistaken for broken-ass garbage on the ground because it's too lazy to fly. Easily identifiable by central American passersby giving it the finger. Song is plagiarized. We almost forgot to put it ihere until Stacey was like "oh what about that little asshole"

It's time once again to post the greatest Christmas cracker joke I've ever received

Get bog body ready

PSA: How to pleasure a woman

humans are the animal that finds it hardest to get to sleep (not counting sheep)

the avatar movies teach us the valuable lesson that bad people are bad