Kurt Schwitters Abstraction 45 Sphere Dress 1922

Glass bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round

The British version of To Catch A Predator was called Impaedophile

"Call me Moby-Dick, the famous whale."

If anyone uses the phrase "spooky season" they should be immediately fined £1000

Westworld should have been called Cowboy Builders

Westworld should have been called Cowboy Builders

It's #buyastrangerabook day today! Things like this happen. I shall be starting very soon. Do you want to #buyastrangerabook? www.biggreenbookshop.com/stuff-you-mi...

Rewatching Adaptation for the first time in many years. Such an excellent film.

To whom it may concern My deepest condolences

I hope this ishmael finds you whale

Who's the Real Villain in Frankenstein? Who is the Funniest Character in Tess of the D'urbervilles? How much could Ahab benchpress? Could Ford Maddox Ford have reached more people with a podcast? Why does Mr Darcy emit so much aura? Could Julia from 1984 be considered Brat? Could Don Quixote eat San

“Bake me a cake as fast as you can” is an unhinged demand.

One of the things that confounds me about the UK is that no one seems to think that calling aristocrats by their made up titles is insane. The Earl of Essex? Piss off, Paul. Why not ignore this ludicrous anti-democratic bollocks and call these cunts by their real names?

robot hams

robot hams

Someone blocked me after seeing this, which is fair enough

Gir- was the original title of Girl, Interrupted

Cottage

Q. Who won some wood A. Steve Winwood

Bob Dylan's real name is Bobert Dylermann

You come into my pub on the day my treadmill is to be married and you ask me to do murder

Suddenly it was months later

All films about 'the magic of cinema' can go fuck themselves

The 6 types of sex

Symmetry should be spelled symmetryrtemmys

You know what's overrated? Woodfired pizza. If I really wanted something that is horribly burnt in some places and a disgusting sloppy mess in others, I would go to any public space in England on a day warmer than 25 degrees.

I'm just relieved they invented those boxes to keep mimes contained

Gen Z is giving up on shoes and walking on their hands instead

Gen Z is giving up on shoes and walking on their hands instead

I don't know much about biomechanics Roy, i wish I did.

The internet has reverted to being Ask Jeeves

Ozzy Osborne was still alive?!?!!?

Listening to an audiobook is reading, absolutely. But for me it’s a very different experience than reading text. The words on a page, the line breaks, the length of paragraphs, the way words sit next to each other – these all have a powerful impact on the way I process writing.

I have dedicated years of my life to developing a toaster that you can safely take into the bathtub and I resent any implication that this has not been time well spent

Love Pujara on commentary

It has been seasonally warm

"Nobody puts baby in a Corner" - Muller spokesperson

This absolute ripsnorter of a tune is 10 years old this year. www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMDh...

Q. How does an apothecary pleasure his wife A. Elixir

“I just saw a boat full of scouts go haring past” “How many knots were they doing?” “All of them”.

When the word 'kayak' floats past, it's hard to tell if it's coming or going

Babe, come over, we’re sucking the screams directly from each other’s mouths like Lady and the Tramp sharing spaghetti

DID YOU KNOW? 'Doggo' is just a word for a dog who is owned by a dickhead

Halloween concept: Bonnie Wraith

Brioche is a terrible bun for a burger

I hope every single person in Britain enjoys going to Glastonbury this weekend, it sure will be quiet when every single person in Britain is at the Glastonbury festival

OMG! TOO CUTE??? ❤️ Scientists taught rats to drive tiny cars and found that even when they didn't give them treats, they would still intentionally get into car crashes for the purpose of sexual gratification