He retired to Goring-by-Sea

SPICY TOMATO WOTSITS

The oldest known image of Keith Richards, published around 1140 AD ...

Goudafellas

The Travelling Whaleburys

Next door have got scaffolders round, so the whole street now sounds like a prison yard.

Skeet meat

I have seen a lot of NIMBY selfishness in my time, but "my convenience matters more than cancer care" is a new low. Quite seriously tempted to email them and tell them as much.

Well done to the Telegraph for making this look like a bad news story.

Dishwasher tablets with nondissolvable wrapping are worse than Donald Trump.

Heard a rap "artist" on radio 6 rhyme "can't pay the rent" with "Stoke on Trent".

A homeless person has moved into a disused garage on our street. I was expecting the elderly neighbours to be up in arms, but instead they are taking him dinner and urging others not to get the police involved 😭

first in my bloodline to see someone get excommunicated by a community note

We weren't allowed to do poos in the downstairs toilet.

Could she BE any more in prison?

Ketamine Queen suggests the existence of King Charlie.

Not sure how but my dog photobombed that Earthset photo.

I have opened my strait of hormuz and allowed some important cargo to pass through: four brown chipolatas. Unfortunately they sank :(

Would be nice if the people running Bluesky remembered that we're not here because this site is good, we're here because the other one is bad. At some point they probably should develop at least one other selling point.

No they couldn't. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

"Spicy Tomato Wotsits"

Let's combine Watership Down and the Wicker Man. You know, for kids

He is risen

Me resisting the urge to say again that in the UK it's more likely to snow at Easter than at Christmas.

Made chicken and rice that accidentally smelled and tasted exactly like pickled onion Monster Munch: Dark soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, garlic powder, chilli powder, sage. Might bottle it and go on Dragons' Den.

Watching Artemis burn 700,000 gallons of fuel just after separating the paper and glass in my recycling.

seeing a lot of "higher gas prices won't affect me because I don't drive very much" and unfortunately it is my sad duty to inform you that your food does not teleport to the grocery store

Just filled up the car with petrol. That’s my April fuel.

Dreadful, go and stand in the corner

Frogs are sad on the first day of the month because it's when all their direct ribbits go out.

Princess Anne continues to merge with the Christopher Walken meme

I just doubled the value of my car by filling it up with petrol.

Scott Mills has been sacked for not being as good as Steve Wright In The Afternoon.

A new contender for best headline

‘Succulent Chinese meal’ speech added to Australia’s National Film and Sound Archive

It was a Kat burglar

If Interstellar was set in the UK.

My laundry chair is judging all of you.

Lovely stuff www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Who up tuna sliding?

It's bin day! Remember: Black for plastics Green for food Blue for paper Purple for men Orange for disused pubes Gold for creepy dolls Navy for that weird dry thing you found down the back of the sofa & you don't know if it’s a chip or a finger Red for Paris Hilton’s 2006 Single, Stars Are Blind

Someone in the park has a dog called Barry.

I have to say, having just read this fact, that I didn’t know that Radovan Karadžić was serving his life sentence for genocide on the Isle Of Wight

The highlight of my Blackpool album

I've seen so many stories in the past couple of years about charity fundraisers pocketing the cash that I assume every GoFundMe etc reposted on here is a grift. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Even people who like The Last Leg will struggle with this.