I would like psychedelics more if they were a fun 4-6 hour hang instead of the person that sits on your couch until 4am drinking your vermouth and talking about their dad *after* you pointedly mention how unreliable the train gets this late

(sea monster bio) You've probably seen my writhing in The Atlantic

Reminder to restock your daily purse/backpack with your essentials that are currently distributed between three fanny packs, two coolers and one drawstring bag.

Happy Mardi Gras, everybody. Happy New Year. Happy Ramadan. The people in this photo think this city belongs to them. It does not. It belongs to you. Take care of it this year. Reach out to your neighbors. Show them some love. These are rough times. We need to stick together. #RexComus

"(agreeably) Comus is a god, yes" #rexcomus

"let's talk about balls and feelings" #rexcomus

every time the camera pans over to the king #rexcomus

My ultimate dream is that one day this little SOB rushes in there and suplexes Rex WWE style. One day, my sweet KCB. #rexcomus

Damn are you even allowed to double-dip the scepter line? Do the king blessings stack or is it a timed-effect thing? #rexcomus

wish they would hurry up and tell us which deb is going in the wicker man, we're gonna be here all night #rexcomus

PLAY CHOPPA STYLE #rexcomus

I feel like the weird vibes this year were kind of unavoidable. Carnival is a spiritual antenna. It picks up everything in the air and condenses it into a street pageant. The good and the not so good always filter through that. But you have to feel it all in order to process it. 1/4

pruning all the brown leaves off my houseplants the night before a guest comes like “DON’T FUCKING EMBARRASS ME OR I SWEAR TO GOD”

You can't live your life based on hate - that way lies madness and bitterness - but allowing yourself to slip into hater mode from time to time is a lovely little treat, like a drunk cigarette or a decadent slice of cake

I actually really love finding out so getting to fuck around beforehand is just a bonus

Weird they're showing Swan Lake on Fox right now

From a poetry collection by Mary Oliver, where after a hundred poems showcasing gentle observations on nature and animals, she hits you with this

This but Porkin’ Across America

LRT As a K-12 person I can attest that “the Kobayashi Maru serves no pedagogical purpose” to “the Kobayashi Maru is pedagogically critical” pipeline is very real

a major issue with video games is that they produce a bunch of people who consider themselves brain geniuses for solving problems that were designed to be solvable. as a remedy, we should be making more games that are actively and irreconcilably hostile to the player. thank you

he’s a 10 but he’s Br*t*sh 🤢

Spent the afternoon at the zoo that makes you buy it. Broke as shit now

Jokes on them, I’m well versed in school abolition theory in that I’ve read Reason magazine, CATO, and Bill Gates’ sponsored pro charter school media

if you want my body and you think i'm sexy turn to page 41 if you want my body and you don't think i'm sexy turn to page 58 if you don’t want my body and you think i’m sexy turn to page 72 if you don't want my body and you don't think i'm sexy turn to page 90

my woke DM yelling at me again about how wrong it is to have a race of inherently bestial, violent, greedy savages who by their nature and presence befoul the lands they spread through. i had to point out AGAIN that the British do in fact exist and aren't fictional

I'm a massive Golden Girls fan, so I can think of no better leadership for my Adeptus Sororitas. I've been working through this concept for YEARS and I'm excited to finally have it accomplished. Shout out to @bssterrain for the amazing head sculpts. #warhammercommunity #warhammer40k #goldengirls

I don’t ever want to watch a video please don’t make me watch a video

miss her

Number Four, please approach the glass window and say "Ayyyyyyyyy"

meanwhile, just a few blocks away, Samantha had her sights set on a rich CEO as well

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “the tower of Babel” 😳 Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit. 5 minutes later: Ich habe gerade jemanden in Zungen sprechen hören, lol My buddy Uruk pacing: 我們的驕傲將摧毀這座城市

I've posted a copy of this pic on every web site I've ever been on and this will be no different

Hurting yourself doesn't hurt them, it just hurts you.

*leans in close to the microphone so that lips are touching* fhqwhgads was our skibidi toilet

texting my boss "caltrops :(" and showing up two hours late

To people who think TNG Darmok is unrealistic because the Tamarians would have lacked the ability to explain the very legends on which their language is based: nuh uh. You don’t have to understand a reference in order to use it. We do it all the time.

Lmao sucks to suck

bluesky has boys from brazil, twitter has Boys From Brazil

The whole purpose of the postmenopausal female is hijinks.

For whom the bell tolls? Couldn’t be me

Every few years when Peggy Noonan enters the discourse a new generation gets to be introduced to this quote.

BLACKTHORNE: Toranaga-sama, this X-Box 360 requires an RCA-to-HDMI in order to FUNCTION with the CRT television you've provided. CHRIST. MARIKO: <The Anjin does not understand AV equipment.>