Producer: "Get me tight shots. Make it look packed!" Viewers with eyes: "I count 27 people. Total."

As a former professional athlete, this is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. Your kid has a less than 1% chance of getting an athletic college scholarship. You’re better off putting the money into a 529 plan.

"On the other hand, one death in ICE's hands, or two, or three, or more ... well, that's just the start."

Announcers spend 2 minutes talking about how the dome and media areas are at perfect temps despite being in Texas. "And now, we pause for a hydration break."

"But don't you dare come ANY assault rifle or machine gun the Framers could have never envisioned. That shit is OFF LIMITS."

Old white men won ONLY 2 of 3 SCOTUS decisions today, so let's make sure they are comforted accordingly.

OK, someone next put the Veep music behind this.

Confused attendees thought they were supposed to invade the Capitol.

Normal brain: the senate should have convicted Trump for doing 1/6 Big brain: the senate should have convicted Trump for doing the Ukraine/Biden extortion Biggest brain: the senate should have convicted Andrew Johnson for firing the war secretary in defiance of a law passed by Congress

This is basically a Democratic campaign ad. Air it as is with no changes.

Look, everyone was told to respect Qatars beliefs during the last World Cup, so please respect Seattles right to be gay as fuck.

YOU ARE A BETTER FATHER THAN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

Never mind that Vance got conned, the fact that the vice president saying he heard second-hand from the president's son-in-law and the president's real estate buddy that the strait was open is humiliating on its own.

If you watch the Obama Library, the World Cup, and the Knicks parade this afternoon -- and nothing else -- you can actually see the America we're supposed to be at age 250

Donald Trump called your wife ugly, your father a murderer, and you a pussy, and yet you lick his boots.

trump called cruz’s wife ugly and he just took it

To my Pride folks. You are loved. There ain't no other you. You are so fierce you got these wockaflockas shook and whatnot. Go on with yo' bad selves.

Late Soviet America shit Politburo rolls out Dear Leader's mummy to prove it's still breathing

Congratulations to everyone who said it would get this bad. Your prize is watching everyone who disagreed now claim no one could have predicted it would get this bad.

US Olympic skier called a "real loser" by Trump creates The Real Loser Project to help kids get outdoors for sports - just magnificent

the current director of national intelligence is a guy who two years ago received a trophy declaring he “Fucks Only The Young” at an (oddly dildo focused) event he organized dedicated to the conspiracy that Bed Bath and Beyond never actually went bankrupt

hello, it's your child's school! it's the final week of the year, so please attend the English expo, spring sing, the art fair, the PTA gala, the science fair, commencement ceremony, and teachers' picnic. all of these are during the work day. p.s. your kids have half days all week BYEEEEEEE

So the most boring and ineffectual champions in history should have never won it anyway? Shocked.

You sound hysterical if you say it, but in Minnesota the Republican Party is literally pro-murder. An otherwise anonymous killer who killed in cold blood on camera and was convicted of second degree murder received an honorary moment of silence for it at this weekend’s state GOP convention.

Give yourself the gift of watching this.

"He's doing these things now because no one will honor him when he's gone" is a very good line of attack against Trump.

unnoticed by whom, npr

Oh you don’t sayyyyyyyyyy

There's something like six divisions with fifty events each for each of fifty states, so when you do the math you can see how 1/15,000 titles per year going to a trans kid is an urgent national issue.

Aside from the fact some people actually wear masks when they’re sick out of consideration for others, let’s take a moment for the guy who presumably spent half an hour on elaborate, mostly pointless TSA theater to get inside an airport, but thinks a person in a mask has succumbed to paranoia.

Cunk on Earth couldn't get this level or cringe comedy and yet … nothing funny about this at all.

The GOP lives and dies based on the whims of upper-income suburban voters outside major cities in "blue states." Do these idiots really think those swing voters will just stop taking international flights so they can own the libs? The entire Republican party is insane and living in delusion.

John Cornyn tried reading Art of the Deal, going to Trump Burger, proposed renaming a Texas highway after him. He ate so much shit for Donald Trump and now he's out of a job, anyway. I wrote about it: www.chron.com/texas/articl...

I mean look at this. Look at the utter lack of pride or self-respect in this man's face. Look at how debased this man is, desperate to believe this pathetic final act of ego destruction will make Trump reconsider tearing his 24-year Senate career into pieces. You sad invertebrate dunce.

Love the duality of "use money to participate in the American democratic project" or "buy more instruments of death." Real sophie's choice-level stuff going on here.

wake up babe the white house is a six flags

Hey @bavarianfbworks.bsky.social: we have a proposal

It's fun to think about how famous West Ham fan Russell Brand might be feeling today

TOTTENHAM MOTHERFUCKING HOTSPUR

President Lincoln Concludes Mostly Enjoyable Night at the Theater

"while the SpaceX rocket blew up into a million pieces on reentry, we now have gained valuable data indicating it's bad when rockets do that."

Recall: Dems hung tough on no funding for ICE & BP, Rs caved and passed rest of DHS and decided to do ICE and BP via reconciliation. Trump wanted ballroom then slush fund, couldn’t work it out, & here we are. Lesson for Dems: Hanging tough put pressure on Rs, -> Rs in disarray.

1. Number of stories about Trump buying and selling hundreds of millions of dollars in stocks in the first three months of 2026: CBS: 0 CNN: 0 Fox News: 0 NPR: 0 PBS: 0 Politico: 0 Semafor: 0 Business Insider: 0

The levels of irrationality from EPL referees in their decision-making cannot be contained by Earth's atmosphere.

Give me a point/ping Tottenham, one point/ping only please. #COYS #THFC youtu.be/jr0JaXfKj68...

London budget 26-27: 22.7 BILLION pounds. But yes, beg for West Ham's survival and that 2.5 mil you moron.

The “we don’t have the votes” excuse for refusing to force a vote on impeachment is conceding the point and saying even the opposition party doesn’t think this high crime merits removal from office. It’s not being politically astute and pragmatic, it’s self-defeating in its cowardice.

If you ranked the 1000 most corrupt things ever done by an executive branch official in the history of the United States something like 950 of them would have happened since Jan 20 2025.

It seems so easy to just pin back every GOP politician (hell, even Fetterman) to defend a $2 BILLION fund for people who stormed the Capitol and lead to officer deaths. And who haven't even asked for the money. They got pardoned already for Eff's sake.

new video youtu.be/P9NlRz7w27E?...