Last night, I put on The Hunt for Red October, and in true middle aged dad* fashion, fell asleep 20 minutes in. *I’m not a dad, but you don’t have to be, just white and over 40. Also, I always forget that Beverly Crusher is in this movie for like four seconds for some reason. Lol

[somberly] You cannot serve both god and money [upbeat music hits] Until now. Introducing god as a service

You know who's great in "Die Hard" is everybody.

If I had a nickel for every time Apple TV has made me worry about a cute little goat in a prestige drama this year, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

oh no

We’re gonna need a new Emmy category for best face acting in a drama series and give it to Rhea Seehorn every year

He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.

Listen, I know a flu shot isn’t 100% protection against the flu, but it’s pretty damn rude to get the flu and still feel this lousy

I feel like I'm going to get a lot of use out of this Pluribus screencap

The neat thing about the redactions is that whatever you imagine is behind them is probably less wild than what’s actually behind them.

it was probably a mistake teaching him to read

This is the coolest jacket I’ve ever seen out in the wild

Unsubtle metaphor alert

The "at least you tried" cake meme is a meme of unexpected success not one of lack of effort

1st Movement of Elgar's Cello Concerto as performed by cellist Jacqueline Du Pre with Daniel Barenboim conducting the London Philharmonic in 1967. 🎶🎧🗃️ www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUgd...

This was apparently my grandma’s favorite movie, although I’ve never seen it. I guess grandma had a dark side we didn’t know about.

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller December 12,1966

We broke down and bought a small snowblower. Doing this has cleared all the snow out of the forecast for the next week. Money well spent.

Yeah I’m a fan of A24 - a 24-year-old album entitled “Discovery” by Daft Punk

Fixing up Carol’s house probably clinched it for him.

did it in four words hemmingway

Omg look at Javier! So handsome!

Oh boy, if you loved the sky high inflation from tariffs, wait until you get double sky high inflation from rock bottom interest rates

Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things

It just isn’t Christmas until I’ve had my annual reading of The Best Office Holiday Party Date Story of All Time, from @askamanager.org

… and he SERVED ✨

$30/person/year, or in other words, one of the best deals you’ll find anywhere on earth

John Cena is always such a goddamn delight when he shows up on TV

Them: “25 years ago” Me: *nods sagely* “1986”

None of these words are in the Bible.

Haha, “end” to “end” *waggles eyebrows suggestively*

Sluggo knows big words!

Glad Star Trek now exists in LEGO form so I can do dumb things such as recreate scenes like this. #iykyk #definitelyfuckedaghost #subrosa

Got “permission” by lying and stoking unfounded fears, but OK sure, let’s call that permission.

Mad Men 4K

The admiral also committed a crime by obeying the illegal order. Put them both in prison.

reverse advent calendar where I scream a little scream into each tiny box and close it up tight

Snuggly boy

I had 2-XL when I was a kid. She was fierce

So many bathrooms. A bathroom just for coats(?)

we're so back

And that's a wrap on November...

Honestly would watch a 29 minute video about this.

Really enjoying my first non-turkey based meal in several days

This just makes me hungry for pumpkin bread

Sometimes you just gotta make some goddamned cinnamon rolls

If you kick my seat again, I swear to god—