William Safire spinning in his grave at this ungrammatical rendering of "Bozos The Clown".

girl Pride was last month

Every religion has a food rule that sounds like somebody got diarrhea once and made it everyone’s problem.

witnessing the birth of a new all timer post is such a beautiful thing

There needs to be a limit on how annoying any single member of congress is allowed to be though.

How do you sell Paella to Minnesotans? “The hotdish of Spain” 😂

I need to know how Jack Donaghy is taking this news.

Deanna is gaslit by romulans is also a fave

Surely there’s a less threatening sounding way to say this

Saw this on Reddit and genuinely can’t decide because these would both be rad as hell

HIPPOPOTAMUS HOLLERS FOR HOTDOGS?

Me watching a documentary about psychopaths and how they "prefer to stay at home, don't have many friends and can get very upset over a minor inconvenience"

america is an ideal worth fighting for

Celsius is for water. Fahrenheit is for people.

Happy Pride!

The good news is that most men will never eat the whole thing.

that’s illegal this month

So many people who can reasonably be described as “that little shit” are in charge of so much of society.

Look, plantar fascitis sucks but I think this guy has bigger issues going on

Happy Pride!

Here’s something I’m wondering about: why did every video store have the same smell?

My generation is haunted by the past

Haha! You got the dud! Hey, he looks just like you, poindexter!

Used the wrong form of “its”.

Happy Mother’s Day, sci-fi moms

Breakfast In Bed Served To Mom Who Just Got Eaten Out https://theonion.com/breakfast-in-bed-served-to-mom-who-just-got-eaten-out-1819574958/

You can witness the collapse of marriages happening in real time at Costco. It’s my second favorite thing there after the fuck-off size bag of Doritos.

The only Data center I'm down with.

Oh, so now it’s illegal for a woman to have a hobby?

10/10, no notes.

Met Gala Ends Abruptly After Anna Wintour’s Parents Get Home Early https://theonion.com/met-gala-ends-abruptly-after-anna-wintours-parents-get-home-early/

Why do grilled cheese sandwiches taste better when cut diagonally? Science can’t explain it but we all know it’s true.

BRB going to register my car in Vermont

IT WAS CALLED THE SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR AND THEY BROUGHT THE BOOKS TO THE SCHOOL AND SET IT UP LIKE A BOOKSTORE AND YOU COULD GET GOOSEBUMPS AND FEAR STREET BOOKS BUT ALSO MICHAEL JORDAN POSTERS AND NICKELODEON BOOKMARKS AND PENCILS THAT SMELLED LIKE CUPCAKES

Some of the best times of my high school years were spent pissing away hours on a computer that looked just like this.

You ever think about how @weratedogs.com has invented the best job imaginable for himself? Amazing.

Owning an EV is great because you literally never think about the cost of fuel ever. My Polestar 4 has a 100 kWh battery and filling it from 0-100% would cost about $6 overnight in my own garage. I spend less than $20/mo on electricity.

Hang it in (what remains of) the National Portrait Gallery. Nothing encapsulates "America in 2026" more than this.

Two copy editors high-fiving so hard right now

ok

Scratching Godzilla's belly and he's doing that leg kicky thing that dogs do

It's Friday night baby