Okay CTA. This is a good sign.

This is not just a picture of a space capsule landing safely. It’s a picture (of tens? hundreds?) of thousands of brilliant, dedicated people doing the hard work for decades to bring dreams of amazing achievements into reality. It’s a picture of humanity at its finest.

I like when good people do good things.

yes google I meant pee-ordered

When we learned Hank didn’t have much time left we started feeding him all the stuff from the table he had always wanted. Basically overnight years of diligence and restraint went out the window and he turned into a pizza-crazed monster 😂

Whenever I see crap like this my reaction these days is, “they sure better hope none of the stuff they claim to believe is actually true. They’re gonna have a real hot and sad eternity if it is.”

Iran gets: the strait the hereditary leader the dead guy wanted withdrawal of enemies to tell the story of how they fought off all of west asia plus USA at the same time and won for the next 100 years to give no nuclear assurances USA gets:

Iran is (rightly) declaring victory, and he doesn’t even get that. They are in a much stronger position now thanks to Trump and Trump alone.

Apart from everything else that’s wrong with this clown, why did America think putting the most pathetic little bitch in office was a good idea?

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

*movie trailer guy voice*

I would also like 24 donuts.

I was gagged and gooped to find that The Toast is no longer live, but I tracked down one of my favorite posts on archive.org. "What if phones, but too much?"

Every man has had these three exact roommates

<I’m wheeled into the Pitt> Santos: male, 36, at happy hour, now saying “tummy feel crazy” Al-Hashimi: 47% of men’s bodies reject modern IPAs. They’re too hoppy now Robi: the silent killer. Get him to surgery McKay <alone now, staring straight at camera>: I am the same type of communist as you

Shorter Ron Johnson: “We didn’t rig multiple elections and pack the Supreme Court with anti-American ideologues just to have them uphold the friggin’ Constitution, for crying out loud.”

I showed this graph in class yesterday on how measles cases in the United States plummeted dramatically after the vaccine was licensed in 1963. It’s not subtle and I could not resist observing: “This stunning design in measles cases was not thanks to vitamin A. It was not due to beef tallow.”

A truly once in a lifetime encounter.

Sheet cake guy is a genius

No spoilers, but both of the judging decisions on this week’s Drag Race were *extremely*, aggressively incorrect.

Pull up to the bumper, baby

Is this not one of the happiest pups you’ve ever seen??? I love her. 😍

“Learn cursive so you can sign your name properly on paper checks” like what are we even doing here, man?

Ooh, still eligible to enlist in Army for another four months! Hot damn!

Starting tomorrow you can get gunned down at the airport Chili’s just minding your own business.

🤨

I heard there was a secret cord that David kept in his cable hoard but he can never find it when he needs it

omg his little teefies

No One In Family Sure Who Trip To Arboretum Is Geared Toward https://theonion.com/no-one-in-family-sure-who-trip-to-arboretum-is-geared-t-1819578779/

"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."

[Sade voice 🎵]

They got unc crawling in the lot for content

Happy MAR10 day

Life moves so fast. Take a breath and slow things down, like a group of people walking five abreast at the airport.

Well, if anybody needs me I will be busy being this ancient pile of dust that just collapsed.

A cold blooded killer

Every once in awhile I think about this Nancy comic and it makes me laugh every single time. Absolute perfection.

It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

Alaska dunking on Texas’ size is always a delight

Letz go even bigger and better,,, ALL Female US Olympians and Paralympian medalists are invited out to celebrate in Viva Las Vegas for the SHE GOT GAME Weekend ,,, Hit a guy up and LETZ GOOO

Here it is, your moment of zen.

I wrote a thing about Result types in .NET! Hopefully this gives you a whiff of what you can expect when you read, “Who Yarted?”

Thinking of making this my entire personality

Immediately went to google "bad bunny age", and now that I've learned he's over 30, this makes perfect sense. 10 PM bedtime is such a treat.

"We should learn to speak in a language that rich people who don't dream can't comprehend" is a sentence that will be rattling around my head for the rest of the day.

The people who have seized power in our country now just say flagrantly anti-American things aloud in public and face no pushback, let alone consequences.

this country has far too low a density of touch tanks, my mana drain would be cured if I could put my finger on some kind of weird crab